to want my midwife to ask how I am feeling?

[trixie123]

Had booking in app for DC2 today with a stand-in midwife rather than the regular one who usually covers our area (ie the one I met when preg with DC1). At no point did she ask me if I was feeling ok, having sickness, any odd symptoms or anything. Now as it happens, I'm not, I feel perfectly fine and normal but she wasn't to know that and coupled with her general huffing and puffing over the bother of having to do the paperwork, her rapidly scrawling unreadable notes about fairly important facts about my previous pregnancy and birth and her bullying attitude about VBACs and GTTs I really felt fairly crap after the whole thing. I am a grown up and don't need a nice chat and cup of tea but a bit of human warmth would be nice. I also felt very talked down to like I should just do as I am told and not question her on anything and as it is my 2nd time round I am hoping to have a bit more input. Anyway, sorry, rant over...breathe... over to you!

Yanbu, when I was pg my midwife asked how I was feeling at every appointment even when she was really busy, I thought they had to do that? At least shes only there as a stand in so hopefully you won't have to see her again

YANBU. Some midwives I have met during both pregnancies seemed sadly lacking in interpersonal skills or empathy. Came across as only interested in the clinical detail.
Before I get flamed let me add that I have also encountered some warm and compassionate midwives!

my midwife with DD1 was like this. St the time we were with a very busy surgery wuth lots of patients with english as a second language so I think she was stretched to her limit but really it is common courtesy.

I ended up asking to swap midwives and the GP spoke to me about it and I told him I didn't find her to be 'warm' and he had a word with her. so you could try mentioning it to your antenatal GP.

I wasn't keen on the ones I had during my last pregnancy. I felt they weren't really interested as I was giving birth in a big (ish) hospital, rather than at the birthing centre where they were all based. They weren't neglectful, just not particularly warm. For some, I think that what they do has become so routine that they forget it is not routine for us.

That said, the midwives who delivered my children have all been amazing.

If you do end up seeing her regularly, you can request a different midwife.

Congratulations btw