for dreading this afternoons playdate at my friends very child unfriendly house?

[superv1xen]

...am going over to my friends for tea after i pick DS up from school, so he and her DD can play and me and my friend can have a gossip (in theory anyway :o ), obvs i will be bringing my yooungest who is 15 months old.

they have the most child unfriendly house imaginable, junk everywhere all at toddler level, doors with the doorknobs hanging off so little hands can easily shut themselves in rooms accidentally, musical instruments everywhere, ie electric guitars and amps (friends DH is in a band) and a general level of absolute dirty untidiness. ie crumbs and dust covered carpets, broken toys, overflowing bins. oh and ffs, valuable things on the floor like their housephone and DVD player, so again well within reach of babies hands!

all of which, i accept, is entirely up to my friend how she keeps her house (esp as her DD is 4 so not a baby), of course, i would never say anything. but i always find it soooooo stressful trying to constantly stop DD from grabbing things she shouldnt or injuring herself. also i think she picks up on the general stressiness and always gets mardy when we are round there.

and before anyone says, dont go there then, i want to because she is my friend and DS likes to see her DD.

errr... why don't you invite her to your house instead?

Invite her to your house instead?

I have a friend that lives in really dirty conditions, and we don't go to their house. They come here every time, and she's given up asking us there. She probably realises why I don't want to go there.

You could keep DD in her stroller with some snacks and not stay long?

YANBU to not want to go but YABU to want noone to say don't go. Every time she gets a mard on just tell her it's her fault for be a slattern - if you're mates you should be able to laugh it off. Waht are you supposed to do with the 15 month old?

shrimp try keeping my DD in a not-moving buggy for more than about 2 minutes. it just dont happen, she would scream the house down, snacks or no snacks :o ditto travel cot / playpen

i do prefer my friend to come here but sometimes its hard for her to get over as she doesnt drive and is always skint so cant always afford busfare :( (whole other story there ) she came here last time so when she asked us over i couldnt say no really. and i especially couldnt say, no, your house is a tip and it stresses me out trying to stop dd eating 2 year old crisp crumbs and / or electrocuting herself :o

minxie my friend doesnt get mardy, sorry, my DD does, because i think she picks up on my tenseness because i am always taking things off her, moving her away from things etc.

omg the other week she got a ball bearing in her mouth there i almost died

I wouldn't go and spend time in a dirty house, whether i loved my friend or not.

I have a friend who is a scruff and I never go to her house. We are close enough that she knows the reason why, she just calls me Monica Geller and I call her Rik from the Young Ones. She comes to my house or we meet on neutral ground.

haha yeah GOML that sounds like me and my friends, i am very OCD when it comes to cleanliness and tidiness. i am sure she thinks i am as mad as i think she is :o

Sorry am a skim reader! Big opinions, little brain time I'd tell her - just say 'love coming to see you but DD gets such a cmard on cos there's so much stuff in your house compared to mine'. Or don't do anything about it and just rant on here

Can you go to the park/playground?

i was imagining a house which was not only spic and span, but worthy of being photographed for some sort of OK spread. with crystal flutes and what not all at child height. and expensive knicknacks just waiting to be smashed by little fingers.

if it stresses you that much, then just dont go

lol supervixen - my friend and I just take the mick. She comes round and mock-threatens to put a cup on a table without using a coaster 'looook, no coaster, the world will end' and iI say I am surprised she hasn't got botulism from cooking in her skanky kitchen.

Mind you we have known each other for years.

haha getorf :o

i wouldnt dare say anything like that to my friend! would love to though

she has a lovely house though, its got such potential if only she would clean and tidy occasionally

Can yu offer to pick her up to come to your house? Just say your dd is at awkward stage of grabbing everything and you get stressed that she will damage simething expensive like guitar or DVD player. Plus she gets v grumpy if you stop her touching things. Sell it to her by saying dd will play nicely at yours so you can sit and chat more!

No advice really, but it is stressful having a toddler in a child unfriendly house, you can't relax.

Park, cafe or softplay if you don't want to invite her to yours. Just say you can't relax as he's at that awful toddler stage.

yeah i think i am gonna have to try and get her to come over mine more. just remembered another thing as well - when the older DC play in the garden, she has got this obsession about leaving the door open (even though her garden is high walled, enclosed and very safe) so on fri i was having to chase after DD who kept trying to crawl out of it! :o

I find it far too stressful to go to houses that aren't child proofed to a certain extent. There just isn't any point in visiting somewhere that bad when you are only going to stress yourself and your DD out.

Either meet at yours or somewhere neutral.