To think that complaining that your nanny refuses to be exploited is just not on?

[Bonsoir]

Yet another mother was ranting about her nanny and her "unreasonable demands" and how she was going to have to fire her and get another one.

Trouble is, it's same-old, same-old. There's a certain sort of French woman who thinks that a nanny is someone who must be available 24/7, 365 days a year but ought to be content to be paid EUR 10 cash per hour actually worked (hours to be determined at will and random on a day-by-day basis by employer).

Grrrrrrr.

That's Paris for you!

Actually I'm not sure it's a certain type of French women, I think you find people like that all over the place.

Poor nannies, poor kids.

YANBU. Very selfish .
Although there is one MNer I can think of who would probably feel this is perfectly reasonable - and all the better if you can get a nanny from the third world and pay her less than the going rate of 10 euro

I must say I find it quite hard to listen to! And the worst thing is that I really do like the mother in question here. The exploitation of domestic staff is so deeply culturally engrained....

Yes, my SIL is like this (originally from Paris!).

She was horrified that when she took extra holiday to be with her daughter, which was not originally outlined in the contract, the cm expected to be paid.

Cries of "but I'm not paying her to do nothing"!

Not just French women. You should hear how some of the expat wives in The Netherlands complain about their Polish or Phillipino nannies (who to a woman work themselves ragged) or some rich Aussie women complain about their Indonesian help.
Some people just have a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

Bootymum - Who can you mean?

Don't know if it's just Paris. Was sitting in a central London waiting room yesterday overhearing a very odd conversation about how to manage the 'weekend' nanny.

I think there is a certain kind of woman who, as a hobby, likes to make a big deal about organising her domestic staff. Money doesn't buy brains, but it does buy people to push around.

What are the allegedly unreasonable demands?

Nannies are "unreasonable" if they ask for regular hours and pay.

Yanbu, it's horrible, and worst of all is that their children will be watching and learning from them

My God, don't these women employing nannies realise that the nanny requires a regular wage for regular hours. That they might, God forbid, have their own personal life to manage outside of their working one. Like their own family, children, grocery shopping that needs to be done, etc. It really harks back to the days of domestic servants in the grand houses, 19th century. Where servants lived in and had all their meals and board provided with minimum time off. The butler would be married to the head housekeeper and they had no children as their work and the family they served was their life!

And it's always women who lead materially hyper-comfortable lifestyles. All dependent on the exploitation of other women. Grrrr.

Actually I think being a servant in a grand house was way and above better than being a servant to the petits bourgeois...

Exactly Bonsoir. I had exactly the same argument with above mentioned MNer who wondered why some women are able to get ahead in life whilst others are "content" to do the "menial jobs". This same MNer then proceeded to tell a poster who was having difficulty finding childcare for her SN child that she should employ someone from a "poor country" who would be happy to work in Britain for a "lower wage".

This particular MN prides herself on her get up and go attitude and amazing high paid career, she has posted many times about it. However she is one of those who presumably got where she is by feeling a sense of great entitlement and feeling it's okay to step all over the 'little people' to get to where you want to go in life.

Sorry, but still makes my blood boil thinking about it. Grrr!

My ex-boss is just like this, only I wasn't her nanny. She considered nerself a proper buisnesswomen but treated all her staff as skivvys while complaining she was paying us far too much. (minimum wage) Then wrongfully dismissed me. When I asked for the process to be followed properly, i.e notice and pay, I was told I was scrounging
But I'm over it.

i hate people like that, you should have mentioned the recent programme on domestic slavery

Couldn't agree more

A neighbour I'd then never met called me once to ask if my nanny could look after her dcs one weekend. I said it was up to the nanny and she'd have to ask her, which made her very cross as if it was my decision.

She then asked how much I paid and when I told her retorted "Doh! That's way too much. You could get a 'girl' for six pounds an hour, you know." How can you talk about people like that and expect them to look after your children all day?

Bonsoir, I can see that the case you are talking about is just not right, but the french thing is frankly ridiculous. Get a life.

I don't think it is just a french attitude. Lots of very wealthy Italian women are the same as the woman you describe. ANd I'm sure lots of wealthy British ones.

Know plenty of vile people who live in Dubai and have Indian/Sri Lankan staff who they treat as sub-human.

They live in the main in wondowless rooms next to the kitchen and are expected to work around the clock to cater for their employers' whims.

And this isn't ingrained attutudes - these are people who have grown up in normal households in the UK and have no experience of domestic staff. I have seen it at first hand and it is disgusting.

Why does a thread about nannies and their whinging bosses need to be dressed up as cultural anthropology? I suspect Bonsoir feels that moaning on Mumsnet is a guilty pleasure and needs to make it look more intellectual than it actually is.

It's ok, you know, Bonsoir. Just get stuck in. Judgeypants know no borders

I do think being a nanny must quite a difficult job as you have to work much longer hours than your boss including their commute. Seems a bit of a thankless task.

I assumed that Bonsoir lives in France and this is why she is commenting on a French attitude. I don't think she was saying that only the French are like this....

Bonsoir loves to be critical of the French, I often feel like defending them (I come from Northern Italy, I like Napoleon )

What a cute little French face. Is it gallically shrugging?