Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

why cant he just say NO! to his kids?

1 reply

bridewolf · 17/09/2010 10:33

single dad bil, has had some recent trouble with his teen DD on facebook.
we monitor our kids conversations etc, and did give him a heads up over some aspects.

he seemed to take it as interferring, even when it was reaching to them getting cyber bulling etc.
and personal details openly posted etc.

he said he didnt have time to keep a eye on what his kids were doing on facebook...

however, he got a recent shock when his SN DD arranged a date on facebook with a stranger, a 18 yr old man.

first bil knew of this was when he opened the door to the man.

have since found out that he invited the man in to his house, and have no idea what this was for...........(i would have rung the police , myself.) and as his DD has SN the aspect of stranger danger is hard to grasp.

because of this and quite rightly bil took the laptops/computors away (but not phone with internet) and instead of explaining clearly why, and saying NO, he lied and said they were broken.

This is not the first and will not be the last time he avoids saying no, in any form to his kids.

he has two fantastic girls, who can be sweet funny and adorable, but they have learnt that they can shout orders at him, and he will jump, eg hold out clothing/coats at arm lenth and he will carry them.
he responds to 'oi you, get my'
without seeming to think this is in anyway abnormal at times.
and even when he does, he seems unable to change this situation.

in many other ways he is a fantastic dad, who has coped with such a lot , and clearly adores his princessess...........but bloody hell, adoration is not whats always needed ..........
any bad/ ot behaviour reported by others is always explained , and blame put on other kids /parents. and he just cant see that his girls were in the wrong and need some form of consequence.

i really hate it when he asks for my advice, and i tell him the truth, and others have come back to me and said that i had upset him.
but i am not the sort to pander to this, he asks, and really if he doenst want the reply , he shouldnt ask.

how can a really brainy man, with such love for his kids get things so obviously wrong?

OP posts:
pluperfect · 17/09/2010 11:13

Lots of people have this problem, so you should be able to get some good advice. I can't say much beyond just to keep trying to show him the consequences of his spoiling. Those girls are going to be monsters if someone doesn't take them in hand, and it is a shame to think how heartbroken he would be that his great love for his children led to their becoming utterly unlovable (by anyone else).

Bumping for you now for more practical advice from others!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread