Anybody else... or is it just me?

[HeathcliffMoorland]

I always hear people going on about how much harder parenting was than they ever expected.

When I was a non-parent, if I ever expressed an opinion, people got all 'oh you just wait and see'.

The thing is, parenting is pretty much how I expected it to be. It is hard. But I didn't expect otherwise.

Most of my opinions that I had before mummy-dom have held. I'm not being all smug and saying 'look how easy'... because it's not. And I know that some parents have it harder than others and not all experiences are the same, but you get my drift...

Am I the only one who was expecting the whole thing to be quite as it is?

Well I had no idea what I was taking on, but then I am singularly lacking in imagination

i had been a nanny previously...so had some idea....so i thought!!

YANBU, I'm pregnant with my 4th and think being a parent is just, well that.

I don't find it hard, well no thats not true, its trying at times but thats exactly what I expected.

Ooh, congrats TO.

I mean, some stuff is unexpected, but I was told to expect the unexpected when it comes to children... so I did!

I also worked with children before having DS. Had been in childcare for 7 years and worked with 100's of children aged 0-16 some with special needs. I knew that as long as I didn't have an alien some of the experience would be useful.

Will I get flamed for saying parenthood is better than I anticipated.

erm...well done

lol AFK

I never realised how much fear it would all involve. I could get my head around the love you feel, in a logical "oh yes, it must be the most love ever!" kind of way, but the way they have taken over my life...the way I worry, worry, worry about the smallest stuff and the deep desire to take away every pain they ever feel? That was far beyond my wildest expectations.

Yeah, I'm with you in that it's great being a parent, but I'm with Shirley in so much as the emotions that go along with children are scary.

I worry SO much that something horrid will happen to these little folk that I love so much. (But I had a tragedy in my family when I was growing up which may explain why I'm feel so worried about them - therapy's helping with that tho!)

I worry loads...

But before I had them I used to worry about how much I'd worry...

I'm naturally a worrier, really.

I thought I knew what it would be like being quite experienced with much younger siblings. With ds2 and dd it is like I thought it would be but ds1 has difficulties and I find him really challenging. He is having some extra help at school now and is waiting further opinion re possible ASD, parenting him has not been how I thought it would be.

I felt exactly as you do after I had DS1. In fact it was easier than I expected.

Recently had DS2 and parenting 2 under 3 is a VERY different kettle of fish! Hardest job I've ever had to do and ever hope to.

I knew it would be hard and sometimes it is but its lovely! I remember looking at ds when he was first born and being amazed at the intensity of the love I felt for someone I had just met for the first time. I knew (or rather hoped) I'd feel like that but couldn't imagine what it would feel like iykwim.

I have three... 5, 4 and 9 months.

It's not that I don't find it hard. It's just that I didn't expect it to be any easier than it is. To be honest, I was terrified when I was pg with DD1. Becoming a parent went against many of my instincts. Being one is not so bad.

Marjee, I agree.

I'm not saying I specifically anticipated every feeling. It's just that I'm not shocked... yet.

I don't find it hard, much easier than work, but I did expect it to be more fun which was me being naive.

Heath I agree. I have found the fear thing quite a surprise but the rest is as I thought it would be. Didn't expect to love it as much as I do though.

Actually the fear thing and worry is the thing that has given me the biggest shock - although I'm not sure I was ever any different just different things iyswim.

When they were little I found it a walk in the park. Much easier than I thought it would be.

I really don't think it is hard, it is just relentless, and if it is really what you want its a breeze.

When they were teenagers and older, I found it much harder than I thought it would be.

Agree with mumbar the fear is the worst thing.

Lynli your post scares me

I found the early years easier than i expected (like dragonfly i was a nanny before) but i am dreading teenagers!

Same as Vine.

But then mine is only 11wks, so I guess there's still time for the fun to start.

Laquitar you are right to be scared. you should be.

I cant cope with teenagers. DC2 is 16 and I have had a torrid time with him. I have 3 more to get through yet.

I am hoping by the time DC 3,4 & 5 are teens I will be too old to fully comprehend what is going on.

thanks for that!

I imagine i will be here every night asking for advice.

I will have 3 (horror emotion) but your last line gave me hope

I was expecting everything to be a complete nightmare and that all my hopes/ideals would be washed away by months of sleepless nights and screaming.

Oddly, the months of sleepless nights, the screaming, the and the frantic live wire that is my daughter haven't destroyed my ideals, though there are things that I'm surprised I've done, things I'm vexed that I didn't do...

What I didn't really anticipate was the joyous, beautiful moments, which are myriad. I am clearly a terrible pessimist.

I expect the worst is to come...