To NOT go easier on DS because he is a boy?

[HeathcliffMoorland]

I often hear parents I know (not all, just some) saying things like "ah, what do you expect" and "boys will be boys" to justify bad behaviour and lack of cooperation from their sons. Their DDs don't seem to be able to get away with similar.

I find this unfair on both genders. The low expectations are a bit unfair - boys are just as capable as girls. It's also unfair if the girls end up with extra expectations compared to their brothers.

I also expect (and will continue to expect)equal contributions around the house from DD1 and DS (DD2 is only 9 months old, so no expectations as of yet).

DH and I are pretty much equal household-duty-wise (although I'm a bit better at fixing things!).

AIBU to not expect less from DS on the grounds of his gender?

YANBU, I have 2 DD's & 1 DS, and I expect the same from them in terms of behaviour, language, house work and committment to learning. Thats what I expect, however DS is a lazy little so & so, and if he can spend ages appearing to "tidy" up while his older sister is actually doing all the work he will try....I keep an eye on this and intervene! But that is his personality,he's more of a dreamer not because he is a boy.

Glad to see people calling me not unreasonable!

Absoloutly agree with this. Winds me up no end. I used to just listen and seethe silently, now i ask people what they mean when they make these stupidly lame statements. They rarely reply with anything approaching rational thought.

Amazing, the first generation of parents to have had boys...or girls...nor maybe not!

Give it time...

There was an article in yesterdays paper about how parents find raising teenage girls much more difficult than raising teenage boys. This really wound me up because in my personal experience [of being a teenage girl with a brother] my parents had much higher expectations of me [to be sensible, responsible, etc] but were also less respectful of my abilities and autonomy as a young adult [ie I wasn't safe if out late, teenage girls are at constant danger of getting pregnant and must be protected at all times,not as competent physically as boys as in with learning to drive etc]
So when my brother was a teenager and he came home drunk it was considered amusing and not really a problem by my parents. However I
if I stayed out slightly later than expected [not drunk!] it was a major disaster with mother in hysterics.

I am now mother to toddler son and pregnant with another boy. Am very interested in how as parents we treat our children dependent on their gender and I guess our own personal experience of being parented. I hope I am fair with my boys but I do fully expect that they will assist with household chores etc as I would also expect a girl to do.

I am not sure about this. I have high expectations of my son's behaviour wise (they are only 3 and 6 at the moment though!). I don't let them get away with things because they are boys, but I do sometimes due to complete exasperation! I think I would be just as worried about my sons going out and getting back late drunk as I would if I had a daughter.

I've never heard anyone I actually know say that. Total fuckwittage.

Just thought, with my first son, he cried all night the first night in hospital after he was born. I was talking to one of the midwives about this and she said, "what do you expect he's a boy". That really annoyed me at the time!!

I think it works both ways TBH. I have heard similar things being said to excuse bad but different behaviour in girls. Almost as if its ok for little girls to be more whiny, and catty and precious!I have found that boys and girls do behave differently, that may be due to differences in genentics or socialisation. I would have thought that bullshit before spending time with lots of children, but boys will be boys just as girls will be girls.

(although there are obviously differences between boys and girls, so not all generalisations are false or unhelpful)

I dont have lower expectations from my son as I do my daughter but their behaviour is totally different. My son is more bullish, and loud than dd ever was..

But naughty is naughty in my book regardless of gender!!