to think that complaining about how fat you are..

[Kaloki]

..continuously for hours while talking to someone who is much much bigger than you (especially for medical reasons) is really not so nice?

Yes I understand that not everyone is happy with their bodies, and I don't mind people talking about it. But when it is the only thing leaving a persons mouth when they talk to me, I can't help feeling a little upset.

"Eww look how gross and fat I am!"
"Eurgh look at how wobbly my stomach is!"
"Gross, look at my arms!"

etc etc etc

It is especially appreciated while we are sat in a shop that does not go up to my size!!

Adding, "I feel awful as I haven't been to the gym in two days", is also not helpful to someone who cannot stand unaided.

:(

sounds like the person needs bit of a kick up the bum!
i think there were being pretty rude. a one off comment yes long long discussions bording and rude.

next time it happens just agree with them. i've used that technique before and it seams to shut them up

'Look at my wobbly stomach' is both a boring conversation topic and a bit yuck, no matter who you are talking to.

YANB at all U. My friends are all thinner than me, and have all been guilty of this in the past........"oh I'm so fat/look at the size of my stomach/my thighs are enormous/this new top makes me look huge" as they stand there in their size 10 jeans

I'm sure they don't mean anything by it and that the problem is mine rather than theirs, but I do wish they'd shut up!

I hate those conversations. People who moan about their weight are either digging for compliments OR are asking for you to agree. Actually, they never want you to agree.

And YANBU. It's insensitive.

Kaloki :( I think when they were handing out common sense & empathy she was in the bathroom!

Maybe she thinks of you both as the same size and thinks you will understand where as her cardboard thin friends wont?

The gym comment - just insensitive anyway you look at it.

Maybe it's time to cut this friendship loose.... or at least tell her how it makes you feel ?

YANBU

And anyone who goes on for hours about one topic is pretty dull whatever the situation.

YANBU

I agree with cupcakesandbunting - they are usually fishing for compliments.

kaloki forgive me for being very nosy but I just looked at your profile and you are stunning.

Yes though that is very insensitive. My younger sister has a habit of doing that which as she's a size 8 to my 16 makes me mad (I look years younger than her though )

But how does how an individual feel about their weight mean they're directly insulting you? An anorexic will think they're fat at 6 stone, doesn't mean they're deliberately insulting the person they're talking to. Maybe you're taking it a bit too personally?

I'll second that dolphin! You're really pretty kaloki.

Your friends are likely not realising they're upsetting you, but I quite agree with the insensitivity of the subject matter. Do what hazchem suggested next time the subject comes up, agree they look chubby or podgy (or whatever term they use) and hopefully that'll be the last time they mention it to you! They're probably only looking for compliments anyway.

Arf

I ahd a friend like this. She was a 1995 size 6 - 8 (so very slim)

One day we all got sick of her attention seeking whining and every time she said "Ohhh GOD I'm so fat, do you think I'm fat?"

We'd reply "ermmm, I wouldn't say you were fat exactly. It's difficult when you feel bloated, isn't it?" or something of that nature.

She damn knew she wasn't fat. And she NEVER did it again, not in the 15 years I've know her since has she once done that again.

"But how does how an individual feel about their weight mean they're directly insulting you?" - it doesn't it just means they are being insensitive.

Some people are so focused on themselves that they don;t think about you. Its like all the - "OK I'm a single parent this week because my DH is away on business" comments I get. Generally I understand and I understand that people are just having a general whinge but sometimes its really irritating, like the woman who said to me in a horrified voice - "D'you know I had DS for 18 hours on my own yesterday because DH worked late" Umm, yes well I've had DS 24/7 for quite long chunks of the past 4 years. But to her its a problme in teh same way that your your friends its a problme - they don;t reaslly think about how you might feel about it.

I'd take it as a compliment that they don;t think you have as big a weight problem as you do. As for shops and sizes - I've had a friend seriously suggest that something I was wearing might be Issey Miyake (I was size 22 at the time and pmsl at the idea of any designer making that size!). She had never thought of not being able to buy your size in any shop.

I suppose it's all relative.....

but, as a fat person myself I sometimes think I get recruited to make some else seem thinner (not that difficult).

These toxic thinsters should fuck off frankly.

I think maybe next time your chum pipes up about it, give her a glare and a pointed cough. If she doesn't get the hint then tell her.

And if she's offended by that....

ohwell

floopy21 I know she isn't using it to make me feel bad, she wouldn't do that.

However it's very difficult to hear someone say how gross "wobbly bits" are without feeling bad about your (much larger) own wobbly bits.

YANBU. I used to have a size 10 friend who would moan to me (size 24) and another friend (size 20) about how fat she was.

YANBU people should really think a bit harder before they say things

Sounds like you need new friends. They sound boring as well as insensitive.

Colditz - genius!

Yes totally fishing for compliments and have a sensitivity chip missing.

But what about (generous) size 10s who genuinely feel fat and wobbly? . They do exist. That's me but I promise I keep it to myself and my poor dh!!! Body image and women eh? Tch.

YANBU

I had a size 10 colegue who was doing it to fish compliments. I got bored so one day i told her 'my sil joined ww, i can give you the details'

It worked.

yanbu.