to ask a friend to babysit as we have minded her son (daytime) a few of times in the last two weeks?

[nevercansaygoodbye]

My ds has a friend (they were in nursery together) who we see quite a lot of. The mum has asked if we could mind him about 3 times recently (last two weeks)- for afternoons. Although not always convenient, I've done so as its fine, we like him and its more like a playdate. Anyway, she has offered to reciprocate any time but it doesn't suit for my son to go over to theirs any afternoon after school, so I wonder if I could ask her to maybe babysit some evening for a couple of hours instead? It would be for literally 2 hours...would this be reasonable?

I think it would be fine

she will probably be pleased to be able to reciprocate - you might end up with a good friend:)

I don't think it's unreasonable but it can get complicated with dinner/bathtime/bedtime routine.

I guess you could always ask her and see what she says?

Of course YANBU... she can always say no!

I think it is reasonable to ask, she can say yes or no.

Who would look after her children when she is looking after yours for a couple of hours? Or would she be able to bring hers with her to your house?

You can but ask, I bet she'd be glad to help out.

ok thanks. she is a sort of friend already, just wondered because my son likes his friend so minding him is a playdate, whereas babysitting is something else...we've something coming up and it would be great to go together for a couple of hours

Her dp would mind her kids I guess, ours would be asleep, I wouldn't ask her to do anything other than sit in our house from about 9-11 pm one night while we pop out

It's reasonable to ask, but don't be disappointed if she says no. Babysitting, IMO is more difficult when you have dc of your own and personally, i would rather look after another dc during the day. Evenings are my time with dh.
Hope that doesn't sound selfish!

I wouldn't.

Daytime 'minding' and night time babysitting are two different things.

I would ask her if I was desperate (visit someone in hospital type thing), if DS could go there for a few hours or if she could come to mine (while her DH puts their kids to bed), but not just because I felt like a night out.

thanks chooksaway, thats what I was wondering, and don't want to ask unless it seems reasonable, would hate to put her into situation where she would refuse/feel pressurised to agree!

I think it's fine, I do this with friends all the time. Just ask nicely and make it easy for her to refuse if you're not sure of the ground.

ok, it wouldn't be an emergency, we have friends home from africa that we only see every couple of years and there is a meet-up next monday evening and we've no babysitter.

If she's a friend there's no harm asking even if you hadn't been minding her DS. Isn't that the sort of thing friends do for each other? If she can't, she'll say no and there'll be no hard feelings.

Sorry I x-posted before.

I think if you have something specific and it's 9-11 then you should ask... the way you worded it before made it sound (to me) like she isn't a friend (just your sons friends mum), that you felt 'she owed you' so you wanted to ask her to 'even it up' and it sounded (to me) like you meant at tea time/bed time...

Clearly I got the wrong end of all sticks!!

9-11 - special event - no other babysitters - ask away

No harm in asking but I agree with the others who say to make sure you give her a way out, just in case she doesn't want to do it.

I love having my children's friends over after school but babysitting is a completely different matter imvho. I like to spend my evenings with dh catching up on our day and relaxing and the idea of sitting in someone else's house for an evening really doesn't appeal to me!

Is there an equation? Perhaps 3 playdates = 1 babysitting session?!

chipping - no worries, I don't feel she owes me as I am more than happy to help her out when she needs it if I can, just she keeps suggesting days she can take ds as a reciprocation but it hasn't really suited during weekday afternoons.
Indigo - thanks, that is what I was wondering, although we have mentioned to each other that maybe we could start doing babysitting swapping some evenings - I go to hers to enable her to go out and vice versa. I don't think I'd get into the equation thing, just as we've helped out quite a bit lately I thought it might be ok to ask.

I would ask her. You've helped her recently and regardless of whether it was treated as a playdate, she was getting free childcare out of it wasn't she? I do see the distinction between day and evening babysitting, but there's no reason for her to be offended or annoyed by you simply asking. Since you've done her favours, it's more than likely she'll be willing to help you if she can.

Ask her!

I have a friend who has helped me out a bit in the past and I'd really like to ask her more as her dd and my ds get on really well and her 2 are really easy to look after. I know she really cares about my boys and finds them easy too. Only thing that puts me off asking more is that she (until recently) didn't ask me very often and I felt as though I couldn't ask again until I returned the favour as I didn't want to look like I was taking the p*ss.

She will probably be delighted to help out and if she isn't / can't then you have lost nothing esp as you say you would have helped her out anyway.

ok, thanks for all the responses, I really wasn't sure. I don't think I would ask except that every time she asks me to take her ds she always says something like 'and I can take your ds in turn on Thursday (or whatever day)' so it seems she would like to be able to reciprocate. I definitely don't mind minding her ds more than she does mine or whatever. Really thanks, I wasn't sure at all!