To think that if you feel sick enough to not eat your breakfast every weekday morning, then you are dreadfully ill...

[ShinyAndNew]

And should be spending the evenings resting, not entertaining your friends?

Dd1 thinks IABU. She thinks that I think she is just lying and that I am trying to punish her for lying, when she is not lying. She is sick all the time, but only on a morning. And she was sick on Saturday and Sunday. She just didn't tell me.

I used to be like this, could never eat anything at breakfast time if I had to go anywhere. Weekends which were more relaxed and where breakfast tended to be longer after I'd woken up I was much better.

I've gradually got better with breakfast - it was being pregnant that finally did it though, had to eat otherwise I was horribly sick. Now I always eat breakfast, although I generally have it in two stages - cup of tea and a banana and then toast/cereal/croissant or whatever about an hour later.

Could it be hunger sickness if she's really not eating much? Can you explore different options for breakfast - ham sandwich, cheese on toast? I used to find it easier not to eat traditional 'breakfast' foods for some reason.

Re the bullying, I also wouldn't rely on the school bringing it up. My ds was bullied and the school made out the bully had never been in trouble before and played down the assault, turns out a pile of lies, boy is never away from the head teacher's door.

Keep asking her gently how things are and reassure her she can tell you anything, she won't be in trouble. Poor wee mite.

My DD had a strange spell around eating/tummy aches etc a couple of years ago when she was 8.

School would often phone to say that she was upset, complaining of tummy ache etc but it was always around lunchtime. In the end I spoke to the teacher, head and even dinner supervisors and we agreed to monitor things and that they wouldn't pander to her too much or send her home (although obviously they made sure she was OK and would sometimes phone me to say that she was upset and was I still OK for them not to automatically send her home IYSWIM)

I started to get really worried about eating disorders and her weight (she has always been v skinny anyway so couldn't afford to lose any more) but obviously tried to not let her know my concerns.

She insisted there was nothing wrong, that she wasn't being bullied etc but my gut feeling was that it was to do with my Dad being ill and dying quite suddenly. It was the third family death in 3-4years so I think realising peoples mortality was maybe at the bottom of it -she is very much a worrier at the best of times.

Could there be something non-school related thats bothering her? Is she one of lifes natural born worriers?

sorry, I didn't make it clear...the tears and tummy aches at lunchtime meant that she wasn't really eating any of her packed lunch so would go from a small breakfast right through to home time without eating

She has a bad few years Norbet, particularly with bereavement. We were really worried about her and she was referred to CAHMS. This feeling 'sick' started around then. All the other behaviours have stopped since this girl moved into our street and dd1 is generally much happier and much more active, it's only the feeling 'sick' that has carried on. CAHMS were happy to discharge her and we have discussed death with her when she has wanted to talk about it and we have talked about the people she has lost and how it's okay to miss them and still feel happy.

Incidentally when this girl calls for us on a morning to walk to school with us the 'sickness' disappears and is not mentioned again until the next morning.

She is not in dd1's year at school, but they see each other at lunch and break times. They talk much at school though as they have their own groups of friends.

On a positive though DDs tears/ tummy aches/ food issues did just seem to stop. I can't pinpoint a change, it just happened over a short period of time.

I hope you get to the bottom of it Shiny

Surely she can't be just 'trying it on' for attention if she actually was sick on sat/sun?

is it possible that she just doesn't know the right words to describe her feelings? dd just turned 7, and until recently, would tell me that she felt sick for a whole range of things - anything from being worried/scared/sick/sore throat etc. to her, it just meant 'really bad' - either physically or emotionally. a few times she even took herself off to the toilet, but then i realised she had a sore throat & was going down with a cold.

could it be just a word she is using without understanding what she is saying?

Is there any chance she could be allergic to milk or wheat or something which is upsetting her tummy enough to be uncomfortable but not enough to be physically sick?

Mental health issues like stress/depression/anxiety are generally worse in the mornings and the physical symptoms of such issues in children are often nausea and sickness.

DS felt sick every morning for months in his first year at a new school and often actually would be sick. But it was from anxiety - he wasn't ill.

I don't see why a child should be made to rest in the evening and not see friends just because they feel sick in the morning - it sounds like a plot of a Victorian novel where you are punished for being mentally or physically unwell.

Definitely do not make out that if she was really feeling sick/ill she wouldn't be asking for breakfast/cream cake whatever. That is just inviting an eating disorder. You should be encouraging her to try and carry on with things despite feeling sick.