Commuting Etiquette

[QueenSconetta]

QS's little book of Commuting Ettiquette

1. Please sit on your own seat, not half of mine as well.
2. Please keep your coat/scarf/bag/wet umbrella etc off me. I don't know where they have been.
3. Please do not put your bag on one of the only available seats then look at me as if I have asked to shit in your handbag when I have the audacity to ask you to move it so I can sit down. Unless, of course, you have bought a ticket for it.
4. Please do not stand in front of the doors/try to push your way on to the train when people are trying to get off. It is just a lot more efficient if you let people off first.
5. Please don't try and push me on to the train from behind with your belly while I am waiting politely for people to get off the train (you know who you are Sooty Santa Man).
6. Please don't play your music full blast from your phone, or so loud from your earphones I can hear every word. We don't have the same taste.
7. Please do not invade my personal space with your GIANT newspaper.
8. Please do not put your feet on the seats. I don't know what you have trodden in.
9. Please be polite to the ticket inspector. I know they can be grumpy and rude sometimes but manners cost nothing and they are only doing their job.

10. Please do not put your feet so far out in front of your that I can't actually put mine on the floor. Unless you are extremely tall and can't help it. 11. Please do not treat me with utter disdain and as if I have not spoken to you when I politely say excuse me as I need to get past you.

I try to stick to the above when I am commuting because its enough of a pain in the ass as it is, and in the main so do a lot of people. Do you think I am living on a different planet to aspire that one day everyone might be just a little more considerate?

Any others to add?

I've had the nail polish thing too! I very nearly said something as it stank.

To all NationalExpressEastAnglia commuters:-

The middle seats are okay to sit on y'know so start using them!.

If you use the station car park park considerately!. You pay enough for the "privilege" of parking there as it is.

Also NationalExpressEastAnglia - it would also be a fab idea to not run any 4 car trains even on the weekends.

I was once in a carraige where a woman brushed her (long, flyaway) hair and then applied hairspray. I'm not a fan of this phrase, but WTF?????

When looking for a seat I always deliberately target those people that sit in the aisle seats with bags on the seat next to them, rather than sit next to a decent person who sits in the window seat leaving the aisle seat clear.

A) Is you are tired then go to bed earlier and do not use my shoulder as a pillow...

B) You dont need to shout into your phone you tit...

C) You really dont need to use a whole bottle of Aftershave/perfume, your stench is making me sick..

All others have been covered i think...

What I don't understand (in London) is how people miss the whole stand on the right thing.

1. Everyone else is standing on the right of the escalator
2. There are signs everywhere

How can you miss this, or are people generally that unaware of their surroundings?

Think the children on rush hour train comments are a bit mean though.. They probably go to nursery near where the mum works like my friends daughter does... I would much rather be sitting next to her than the smelly bloke who ALWAYS falls asleep on my shoulder... grrrrrr

Incessant sniffing - then saying "no thanks" when I offer a tissue. Sneezing without covering mouth - amazing how many people think that's OK. One man sneezed so hard you could see droplets (in the sunlight) fired down the entire length of the carriage. Fucking disgusting.

I actually think that MN should have a stickie which attaches itself to every 'London' thread in Days Out and Travel, that says 'Stand on the right. Even in John Lewis'.

This is a fabulous thread

I think everything has been covered except

Train companies, please don't use jargon when making announcements. We'd like them to be comprehensible.

We do not need to know that:

"The Revenue Protection Officer will be making their way through the train".

Quite frankly

"Please have your tickets ready for inspection" will suffice.

I do that now - every escalator I'm on. It's drilled into you.

To the train companies, people are paying for a service, it's not crowd control, you are not doing us a favour.

If I'm on a train before 6.30 am I expect a seat.

I'd also like the fire service to audit the safety on commuter trains.

I've laughed out loud at a few things on here and had to add a couple of my own.

Apart from lots of vigorous head nodding from me at people who do their make up on the train, smelly armpits, seat hoggers, people who don't let you off the train first I also have to say:

Don't eat an entire raw onion washed down with a few cloves of garlic and then come and sit next to me. I swear, I attract those people and off smelling breath is a major issue for me.

Stop trying to find the exact position on the train platform where the doors are going to open, to the point that you shuffle along sideways as the train pulls in pretty much barging people out of the way. A woman does this most mornings on my train platform, despite the fact that the train isn't a busy one and everyone always gets a seat. I'm a creature of habit and had tended to stand around the same place on the platform every morning and I've had to choose a new spot as she was winding me up so much.

I'm glad I'm not the only one infuriated the aggressive sitter downers on the Victoria Line. Don't they know they are making the entire row bounce up and down?

Also to add:

If you have drunk more than your own bodyweight last night, please shower, use mouthwash and put on clean clothes before boarding the tube. You stink.

If you insist on smoking, please don't do it right before getting on a packed bus. You also stink.

Have your Oystercard ready before getting on the bus. It's slow enough without you faffing around in your handbag.

If you stand on the left on the escalator, don't get chippy when asked to move (yes, you, loud Australian tourists)

here's a question for you all. who's in the wrong in this scenario?: person 1 who is walking down the escalator at a normal, briskish pace, overtaking the standees on the right. or person 2 who wants to walk quicker than person 1 so comes up right behind them and huffs and puffs

I should add that in view of the huffing and puffing person 1 did not move to the side, as she could have done as it wasn't that busy. she continued at the same pace and, in response to a crescendo of huffs and puffs at the bottom ofthe escalator, turned round and said "I'm sorry, wasn't I walking quickly enough for you?" Had she been presented with a polite excuse me her reaction may well have been different.(I've given it away, haven't I?)

I'd like to add another point of ettiquette: If you have a problem please don't huff and puff. Uust articulate it and you might find it quickly resolved. That's a pretty basic rule of behaviour I often have to explain to my kids.

Person 2 is rude, but person 1 should duck to the right and let them pass if possible?

Btw, I sit in the aisle seat if the window seat is reserved for part of my journey. Surely that's reasonable?

I don't put my bag on either seat, though.

With regard to the bags on seats things, I tend to do that if the train/bus is not busy. I'll shift it if it gets busy of course but I don't see the harm when there are plenty of seats available.

Having said that:

If the bus is packed and I ask you to move your bag do not huff and puff at me before doing it as slowly as possible

Do not then dump your bag on my LAP after I sit down.

If you refuse to remove the bag do not then moan at me when I move it for you! If you have a valid ticket for it let me know, otherwise it doesn't get a seat while there is a person waiting.

If you must take your 2 year old to a nursery near your London office, please do not attempt to feed them cereal and milk from a bowl in a crowded carriage - especially as the train trundles over the points.

And - please do not pass the duration of your journey applying ointment to your warty hands.

It's fifteen years since I stopped commuting, but I haven't forgotten the misery!

I don't commute, and this one is about the rail companies rather than the passengers... The thing which irritates the feck out of me on Midland Mainline is when they suddenly, inexplicably, with no notice, announce that the seat reservations will not be applying. So now, people like me who have been organised and booked four weeks ahead on trainline.com and got a reserved seat, have to enter the mad scramble for a seat with everyone else.

Thank you all you have made my 4 hour weekly commute home thoroughly entertaining so much so I have to add one aimed at myself
Do not read exceptionally funny threads on Mumsnet whilst on train especially if it makes you laugh so much you are crying !

If you are a smoker, please don't choose the clothes you have worn the previous three nights to wear to work. Stale nicotine has been known to make me vomit.

Network South East. If you choose to cancel my morning train, I would really appreciate it if you bothered to announce it, or even stop displaying the train on the boards.

Don't sit next to me if there are obviously loads of free seats on the train, it's creepy.

no egg/tuna sandwiches pleae.