To address this issue with friend?

[grasava]

I have a friend who was once my "best friend" when I left school but now it seems we have grown apart. We are rarely in touch with eachother, and we both seem to have moved on with our lives, had kids etc. We live a good few hours away from eachother now.
In spite of the growing distance I have still sent her kids a birthday present and card, but for the last 2 years she has not sent anything for my kids, or even acknowledged it. They are not bothered, as they often forget who she is anyway.
Now I feel I should be honest and contact her to address that we have moved on, and try and figure out what is expected from me in the friendship now we are "grown ups".
I have tried to contact her by email, phone, and she never gets back to me or replies, I personally feel that with such little contact that it seems appropriate to be on the christmas card list, and thats about it. Is that too harsh?

No. Basically I'd revert to cards at Xmas and not birthdays and not presents.

Erm, I think you have tried to address it, but she has ignored you TBH.

You have tried, gotten nothing back. Forget it, move on and just accept that you have grown apart. Oh and I wouldnt even bother with the christmas card TBH.

Yanbu

No. If you can't send things with a good feeling then don't send at all. It isn't worth it. I have a friend who is always late with sending things, takes ages to answer messages but is always there if I really need her. That means more than gifts to me or my children.

You have tried contacting her and she hasn't replied: that is your answer. She has moved on so should you, stop wasting time on someone unworthy of your friendship.

I don't think you need to address it, you are making a big deal of it then just as you say downgrade to xmas list if you feel thats appropriate and just dont worry any more about it
If I was your friend and received email or phone asking "whats expected of me now that we have moved on" i would find it a bit odd tbh! Although if you sent presents for dc and she has not acknowledged it that is quite rude!?

just stop, love. Concentrate on real friends. Otherwise you will start to feel really bitter.

I think she has already moved the friendship on, and has cooled it down to almost nothing

I guess I am concerned that if I stop sending cards without addressing it with her, I'd feel bad. I know she has already done this, but I would feel uncomfortable.
Firawla, I get what you saying about it sounding "odd". I know it sounds bad, but I don't need or want her as a friend, its just I haven't come accross this before.(confused)

If you don't need or want her as a friend, why the dilemma?

I think she has addressed it by cutting you out completely I'm afraid.

Its pretty clear from the complete silence that she has already moved on.

Thanks all for your input, will put it all to bed then.