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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children choosing reading ....

45 replies

Itsjustafleshwound · 15/09/2010 18:46

I am a 'snob' in that I like to have a say in what my children read.

My DD (5) has just being introduced to the Rainbow Fairies series and I just don't think I could BEAR having to read them ... she has a bookcase-full of better written and more imaginative stories! I have suffered through the turgid Poppy Princess books ...

AIBU to refuse to read them to her ??

OP posts:
Spinkle · 15/09/2010 18:48

Yes.

bigchris · 15/09/2010 18:51

Yes

it's up to her what she reads

she's doing really well to be Reading books that length at age 5

don't undone all that good work with a snobbish attitude

reluctant readers are often encouraged to read comics , graphic novels, the back if cereal boxes, tabloid newspapers etc , so think yourself lucky Grin

luciemule · 15/09/2010 18:53

Instead of you reading those to her, tell her perhaps that if she wants to read them herself (don't know if she can read on her own yet) when she's older and that you will choose the bedtime story. Or give her a choice of two that you like. That way, you won't be squashing her love of stories.

Yes, they're crap and pretty much the same story with a different fairy name for each book, but at 5, she's just getting into learning for herself and she'll be able to familiarise herself with words no matter what she reads.

At that age, they're just bothered about the fairy stories; not how well they're written.

Mowiol · 15/09/2010 18:53

I don't know the books but I'd still say YABU because she wants them read and frankly, anything that gets children "into" books is a Good Thing.
You could always read these books then introduce other more worthy stuff too.
I do know what you mean though about some of the children's books out there!

Shitemum · 15/09/2010 18:57

I told my DD that if she wants Rainbow Fairies she has to read them herself, I will never, not ever, read them to her.
Fortunatley she prefers The Borrowers and suchlike...

roomonthebroom · 15/09/2010 19:02

When I was younger- and in my teenage years too- my mum thought I read 'rubbish'. She spoke to her friend who is an English teacher and her advice was 'let her choose what she wants to read, it's the reading that's important at this stage'. Mum did this and I soon moved on to more interesting / appropriate / challenging books and ended up doing English at uni, became a teacher, and by total coincidence, got my mum's friend's old job when she was promoted. Guess what I tell parents who are concerned about what their kids are reading?

Campaspe · 15/09/2010 19:03

Sorry, I think YABU. At this age, I think it's really important to help them acquire a love of reading, and that means going through some trashy, boring (for us) books. You could compromise by reading a chapter of Rainbow Fairies and a chapter of something from a book you choose maybe? As someone who has suffered through more Thomas the Tank stories than should be allowed, I feel your pain - but I think you've got to think of the longer term gain and grin and bear.

zapostrophe · 15/09/2010 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sethstarkaddersmum · 15/09/2010 19:07

OP is not refusing to let her dd read the books herself is she? I thought she was just refusing to read them to her. Which is fair enough. The dd can read them herself.

pinkbasket · 15/09/2010 19:09

Yes, let her have the books she wants and if she wants her mummy to read them to her, then you should. You could do every other night? Reading is a great skill to have, you can do it alone, do it anywhere and with a book in your bag you always have something to do.

sethstarkaddersmum · 15/09/2010 19:11

you are not her reading slave.
Surely if you read them to her through gritted teeth there's a risk this will make her think reading is a chore.
If you just read her good stuff you will do it with verve and enthusiasm and transmit love of reading far more effectively.

you could lie and pretend you like the Rainbow Fairies but that is lying and it is wrong.

muggglewump · 15/09/2010 19:13

Yes, YABU.

DD didn't read, unless it was what she had to for her reading homework until she was 7.5 and she wasn't very good at it either.

I bought her all manner of books to get her interested, from simple books, to fun books to kids recipe books to CD's with accompanied songword books to stickerbooks to magazines, anyway, you get the picture.

She discovered the Rainbow Fairies and read all of them, was determined to as she enjoyed them so much.

She reads much more now.

She's still not a reader the way I was, and am, but she does enjoy books and is a good reader now, when she just wasn't before.

I really value reading, I sometimes wonder how a child of mine can not love books, but I have to accept that I can't force it, and stopping her reading what she wants is hardly going to help.

alarkaspree · 15/09/2010 19:14

No no you are right. Dd is 6 and similarly loves the godawful rainbow fairies. I refuse to read them to her and she goes and reads them by herself so I am encouraging her to read independently! And tbh I have never come across a 5-6 year old girl who isn't 'into' books. I'm sure some exist but the OP's dd isn't going to go off reading because her mother refused to read the same shite story a hundred times.

muggglewump · 15/09/2010 19:15

Oh, I've read on.
I didn't and don't refuse to read any book to DD either.
She can choose what she wants to hear.
I'm hardly going to help her to love books and reading if I judge her choices as crap already am I?
Sheesh.

grasava · 15/09/2010 19:17

I too hate the rainbow fairies books, and it's something I suggested dd to read on her own at that age. They are simple stories and she seemed to enjoy them, and at least she was reading. She has read alot of other what I would call "better books", and now she is just 7, I gave the the chronicles of narnia....they are still sitting on the shlef as she would rather read the beano comic and annual!!!
I figure that if I force the issue, I will put her off reading, and I would hate to do that.
I just make sure we go to the library often so she can choose new books, and we have a wide range of books in her room.
I's advise like the others, it's not what they read, as long as as they love reading.

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:17

If she can't read and she wants you to read them to her, then yabu.

You are not protecting her from poor writing, you are depriving her of a little bit of pure pleasure.

sethstarkaddersmum · 15/09/2010 19:18

but children have a pretty good grasp by that age of the concept that people like different things - grown-ups like ripe Camembert and gin, children prefer sweets and milk (in general).

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:24

Yep, children prefer tangfastic so show a little adult grace and read her a simple story that she will love.

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:26

I have been quite impressed by how good the fairy books are at instilling the concept of plot in children. One girl who didn't find writing an easy task, once wrote a very well-structured story when she instinctively thought of a fairy book structure.

sethstarkaddersmum · 15/09/2010 19:29
cory · 15/09/2010 19:30

As soon as my dcs learnt to read at all, I started dividing books into "what I will read aloud to you" and "books you will have to learn to read to yourself if you want them". I am still happy to read aloud to a 13yo- but it's got to be something I can enjoy. The rubbish they can read for themselves and I try to refrain from too much rude commenting.

But before they knew how to read, I felt it was only gracious to cater to their tastes as well as to my own. A bit of this and a bit of that.

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:31

yeah well, it did help that my own dds only became interested in teh Fairies when they could read themselves.

But I used to read crap, like disney books of Monsters Inc. and Lion King

Easywriter · 15/09/2010 19:40

Have to tread carefully as my friend is one of the authors of the Rainbow/Flower/Pet/Bag'o'shite Fairies but never the less I refuse to read them because they're so crap I just can't bear it.

Luckily DP will read them (strangely I'm happy to read the things he won't i.e. Shite Balamory and Tweenies books).

How can you show your child the joy of reading if you yourself are experiencing pain whilst reading?? Surely that would be counterproductive?

When they're old enough (can be bothered) they can read it for themselves, until then, they need to find someone who will read it to them and I don't thik that that person has to be, or even should be, a parent.

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:41

oo. Does s/he earn a good living from it, easy?

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:42

lol @ experiencing pain. Hyperbole of the week.