To have a word with the headteacher about this TA???

[mosschops30]

ds1 has just gone into year one. In the morning the TA's for reception and year one stand at the top of the steps and the children go down the steps and into their cloakrooms.
Last year the TA for reception was always on the ball, seemed to have eyes in the back of her head, even if she was talking to another parent, she would still note if a child went past her, she knew who was in and who was out.

However this year the TA, two days this week has been having a chat about personal things with 2 different mums (one was her apartment in spain, this morning was just some random convo). So I waited until ds1 had gone into his cloakroom and then into the class.

They dont like you doing this and last weeks newletter specifically asked parents to leave the playground quickly so children would get themselves sorted, and you are not allowed into the cloakroom which is fair wnough.

I just want this TA to be on the ball with who is going past her, ds1 ran out twice last week to say goodbye to ds2 and she didnt blink an eye.
So AIBU to speak to the head and ask if she can have a quiet word? I dont want to cause any bad feeling because I'll have to see this woman every day for another year but its stressing me out in the mornings with ds1

When my 2 DDs reached school age I decided to stop being a full time SAHM and went back to college to hope to earn a tiny bit of money to help the family purse strings to stretch a bit.

I got my qualifications and instead of becoming a nursery school teacher I chose to became a TA.

I dropped my children at school every morning and then rushed to get to the school I worked at. I finished work 25 minutes after my DDs left school but was incredibly lucky to have friends who were happy to pick my children up and drop them to the school I worked at. We got home and then straight into homework, tea, getting ready for the next day.

It was a tough few years and I was really lucky that the majority of the parents of the children I was TA to were wonderfully appreciative but sadly there were a few like the OP. Because of people like them and their petty little complaints I decided it actually wasn't worth my children having a mother who rushed from here to there for the pittance that I earnt and so I quit.

Flame me if you will but although there may be some neglectful/substandard teachers and TAs out there, the overwhelming majority will be kind and attentive and will be bending over backwards to make sure your child has the best start to their educational careers.

Here, here morpheuscat! TAs do the job because they like DCs, they like interacting with people and often because it fits in with their DC's day-they certainly don't do it for the pay! They are not machines who have to prove to parents that they are on the case every single minute. It is a bit like my driving test-one reason I failed the first time was because I didn't look in the mirror-the second time I made exaggerated head movements so that the examiner could see that I was looking in the mirror and it was all OK! I didn't look any more than I did the first time but I was seen to be looking! You have no idea what the TA can see or not see- and she could certainly see that you were still there watching your own DC!

shes not new, she has worked there for 10 years.
morpheus Im not being petty, if someone is paid to supervise children in the morning then thats what I expect them to do, everyone else manages it and im not sure what makes her so different.
She is not particularly pleasant to the children and I think that my feeling about this is that I have the feeling that she thinks she is above everyone else.
Allthe other TA's of course have conversations with parents about all sorts of things, but you know they are still aware of what is going on and who is going in or out.

IMHO chatting about your apartment should be done on your own time, sorry.

I have come across many amazing TAs over the years my 2 eldest have been at school; they take it in turns to stand at the door to the Infant section every morning, and often chat away to many parents. I've never once thought that it means they're not doing their job properly; I think it's quite nice actually as it shows that they're friendly and are taking time to get to know the parents.

If you're concerned about your son, just ignore the school policy and watch him go into class each morning; if you're in the playground doing it then I think you're perfectly entitled to watch him go in, and I think there's very little the school could actually do about it if there are still other parents in the playground too.

"I think that my feeling about this is that I have the feeling that she thinks she is above everyone else."

Ah so it's personal - you just don't like her. You say the other TAs have conversations about all sorts of things so why can't she. Are you annoyed that she has a holiday home ?

"All the other TA's of course have conversations with parents about all sorts of things,"

So what are the acceptable topics of conversation for a TA? Being one myself I am genuinely interested in what parents expect me to talk about and what I should on no account mention whilst on the clock!

"you know they are still aware of what is going on and who is going in or out. "

And AGAIN we're back to the fact that you don't know that she is unaware of who is where and what is going on. She's not new so she has 10 years' experience of this job - you've watched her for what? a week?

You are making huge assumptions about someone it is becoming clear that you simply don't like for whatever reason.

I suggest you actually talk to this woman - you never know, you might actually like her.

The main point was that she didn't need to watch your DS-you were there! Until you had gone and he was in school he was your responsibility.

Anxiousland, that is a child protection issue, there is no way a school could just ignore a TA bruising and cutting a child's legs. If you are concerned you should have taken your chld to the doc and reported it to social services/police etc.

Based on OP alone I'm going to stick my neck out and say YANBU.

My DS's school does value the parent-staff relationship but prioritises child safety over it. This is why teaching staff don't make themselves available at the beginning of the school day because they give their full attention to ensuring children aren't running back out in front of cars. Instead, they are available at the end of the day at the school gate when they have ensured all children have found whoever is picking them up.

If TAs are so good at multi-tasking as many on this thread say, then this one could at least give you and DS a quick bit of reassuring eye contact while chatting to someone else!

Having said that, going straight to the head is OTT. It's just basic good manners to approach her directly at the first resort.

I know what you mean Morpheuscat. My sister did the same and gave it up due to the attitude of parents, usually parents who couldn't discipline their own kids but cracked up if the school had the temerity to try.

Waste of all that good training but the lack of thanks/respect/space to do her job depressed her. She has a new found respect for teachers that she didn't have in her school days.

Sorry - again a very late night message. I now work in catering. The clients are just as fussy about what they eat but at least I don't have to deal with their parents And that really was tongue in cheek....not being horrid!!

Mosschops - I admit that I do find it difficult to believe that any TA would ever feel she is "above everyone else". Quite the opposite. Please believe me that there is very little cachet to be gained by discussing anywhere that that is your chosen career!

But at the end of the day, as a parent, if you don't feel that you and your child's needs are being met by the teachers who they have been entrusted to then do something about it. Follow your feelings and if those take you to the head's office to complain then do what you in your heart feels right.

All the best.