To want to say sod you lot, I'm not buying Xmas presents this year, I'm going to buy US something?!

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

I bloody hate Christmas! Even if we do simple neice and nephew year, that's ten presents, before we even start on our kids, and realistically we also have to buy for grandparents and childless siblings as well. Add into that the one or two gifts the kids buy their friends, and you are looking at nearly 20 people. Most of those will have at least £10-15 spent on them, as they all know what they want! This doesn't leave any much money for ourselves. I haven't had a present from dp or bought him one for years!
I'd really like to say I'm not buying presents, but as the least well off members of the family, we are then made to feel like charity cases..'thats okay, we will get you something anyway'!
I wish everyone in the world would realise what a giant con Christmas is, I feel 'obliged' and pressured, and I hate it!

We don't even get to enjoy ourselves! Every year, about Easter, the arguments discussions begin over where we are going this year, with both sets of grandparents throwing Wobblies because 'you went to the other set for Xmas dinner last year, it's our turn'! And it continues ALL year!

It's September.

If you're this stressed now, with all this time ahead, then you can't afford to buy anything. So don't!

Why don't you make a few batches of homemade fudge and give that out as gifts, along with a nice handmade card from your dc.

Hate it hate it hate it! Because our families are judgemental gits, and home made fudge would go down like a wet balloon!

its nobodys fault but your own

perhaps this year you could be firm,and make some changes!

i did a few years back....scaled it right down to what i believed to be acceptable.....funnily enough,others were happy to follow

all the dc's now get one main present,and FIVE stocking fillers in their stocking.....it could go on forever otherwise.

other family members presents were scaled down
decorations were scaled down
ditched some of the expensive christmas tat,like choc tree decs,xmas crackers....all the consumer rubbish etc

family will see us OVER christmas,the day itself is just us

tekl them whats happening and be firm

It's not my kids to be honest, and I don't buy loads of food, decorations or other seasonal rubbish. We just have such large families, and they all say 'let's just buy for kids', there are just so many of them! We get treated like poor relations anyway, I don't think I could stand the patronising /pisstaking sympathy if we said we weren't buying any! Dp's brothers are total wind up merchants anyway and always put him down!

God I'm having a right whinge today! Sorry! I'll step away for a bit and go eat some chocolate spread from the jar!

Saggy, DH was made redundant just before Christmas last year (he got a job soon after but it was a stressful couple of months).

I have 5 nieces and nephews between 17 and 23.
I made the girls red velvet cupcakes in a gift box and made the boys some of Jamie Oliver's chilli vodka (which they most likely threw down the sink but it's the thought that counts). They didn't mind at all. My nephew's girlfriend spent over £500 on his presents (and she is a checkout girl!) so my toiletries gift set was not going to be missed.

My sister was definitely NOT impressed but I actually took rather a lot of glee out of that. Kirstie and Nigella have done a lot to convince people it's the only classy thing to do these days don't you know!

We also gave FIL and my brother and sister a calendar of our DCs from photobox which were on 3 for 2.

They must hate us

How dreadful that you should be made to feel this way. Christmas is about cinnamon smells, fairy lights, eating and drinking too much and being with loved ones but is too often turned into some sort of gift-giving competition.

For your nephews/neices can you club together with one of your siblings?

they might be glad if you take the lead and scale it down.....and really,you should have been present buying all year if you wanted to keep this standard up!

how about 15 small gifts wrapped and put in a cardboard box full of shredded paper......a lucky dip gift from your family to the rest of the family!

my friend did this....its their tradition now. sadly my family isnt big enough

I would say that you are buying for children only this year. Say it has got far too much (which is sounds like it has) and thats it.

I wouldn't buy for all and sundry and leave out DH and myself.

I wouldn't be able to afford all what you do. I'm lucky that I have the only DC being the oldest sibling and I have no neices and nephews but I am dreading it when they start coming along.

YANBU but don't just whinge about it, do something about it.

I love christmas in a big way but I will be telling certain people that we won't be exchanging gifts this year. Nothing to do with the cost, I just get sick of seeing the unused toys because the kids get far too much.

We have 20 nieces and nephews plus friends kids and our own 3 however they only get christmas presents until 16.

S'rubbish isn't it. We're skint, we'll just be making stuff/doing it on the cheap because I'm not going into debt for Christmas. (Well, not any further, anyway.)

just be "charity cases" then, if that's how they will want to do it

as long as you say "there's no need to buy us anything" then if they choose to ignore it that's fine

you can't spend all your money on others and have nothing for yourselves

How old are the nieces/nephews? If the girls are young could you knit/sew some clothes for dolls etc. Make some sock monkeys or make up a kit for them to make sock moneys at home it wouldnt cost a lot.

We only buy for our nephew and nieces (9 of them, argh) and no adults. As soon as they turn 18 I will stop buying them anything.

I feel very strongly that people shouldn't get themselves into debt for Christmas.

put your foot down ,put everyones names in a hat and everyone pick one ,set a price limit.everyone gets 1 nice pressie.
Or bring the price down £5-10 and do 3 for 2 boots and m&s,you can start doing 3 for 2 toys now as boots have already started online.

YANBU I hate Christmas too. The arguments about where we're going start in June. My parents are Jewish so I get loads of abuse if I say we're going to theirs (Christmas in their house is a lovely, chilled day, all about slobbing in front of the TV, having favourite food - good old Jewish fayre of chopped liver and latkes). DH has only been once in 8 years and even then my SIL didn't talk to us for weeks as the fact my parents are Jewish maens I "shouldn't be seeing them at CHRISTmas". MIL spends hundreds she can ill afford and when more sensible members of her family rock up with a nice box of biscuits, she gets huffy. This year, we'll have a 4 to 6 week-old baby and a 3 yo, and have decided to got out to eat. We've extended the invitation to MIL - who we'll pay for - but this still isn't good enough.

MIL and other inlaws are very local, btw: we see MIL at least once a week.

It's hard to put your foot down on matters like this as IME, some folk are just obssessed!

Just tell everyone now (ie before they start buying for yoy) that you are going to have to scale right back this year and not buy for extended family.They probably will be as relieved as you.
DHs family did this and have a big family meal out a xmas instead of buying eachother pressies.