to be a bit :0 by the contents of DS nursery bag??

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DS had a poo accident today. Pants in one bag covered in poo.....fine but I also had another bag full of big lumps of poo and wipes??!!!!

ummmm not sure if to mention this next week, I assume they ment this bag for the bin!

On another note how common is it for a child to be fine with poos (well I tell him to go when I know he is likely to need to go) at home, but have accidents at nursery?? He is 2:9months and wearing pants for about a month. Wees all fine.

Very common as they won't notice his signs as well as you do or he may be less likely to tell an adult that he needs to go. Or just engrossed in playing with others. Wees are more of an urgent need - poos can be delayed
It'll come right. As long as they are changing accident-y pants promptly, he'll be OK

Don't know why the bag o'shite though

Really don't mention the bag of wipes etc. Clearly it was meant for the bin. (I would be grateful that clearly someone had picked up the big lumps out of the pants tbh )

Re the accidents, it is still quite early days for him yet. Most children afaik even when generally reliable at home are more likely to have accidents when elsewhere. :)

Perhaps if he poos at fairly regular times you could mention this to the staff and they could prompt e.g. after meals?

I'd guess the poo bag was meant for the bin (hopefully!)
My DS had the occasional poo accident at nursery up until he was about 3.5, not often but now and again, he'd get to engrossed in what he was doing.
His nursery were really great and would regularly remind him to go, sounds like your DS is doing fine

Thanks ladies. Yes they clearly didn't intent the bag of poo for his bag, how they get through the day with so many little people and so much poo I don't know!

So I am doing the right thing telling him to go? He does the standing still in the corner and I quickly say off to the potty, chocolate buttons etc. Sound ok?

You mean telling him rather than waiting for him to tell you? I don't know but I would say yes on instinct. At least it's getting him into the habit and giving him the idea, even if he is not connecting the feeling with the need to take himself off yet. He's still young, lots of children won't have cracked it at his age.

Yes, I do tend to tell him rather than let him tell me......I am quite bad at doing that!

eventually he will tell you when he needs to go rather than you prompting him...the nursery may not routinely prompt the children of his age?

Why not have an informal discussion with his keyworker. Ime nursery workers often are so experience re toilet training they are likely to give very good advice. (better than us even as they know your ds personally)

I think that as he is at nursery (and needs to be more proactive than he does around you) I would take a more 'cross' approach to it, rather than a telling/bribing one. So I'd say something like, 'We don't want any accidents do we , it's not nice to do poos in our pants' - if you think someone is going to be cross if you poo your pants then you just get with it and go to the toilet don't you, but if you think they'll offer you chocolate buttons to go, you wait until they offer don't you! :)

Maybe try telling him that you aren't going to remind him anymore, but when he tells you he needs a poo you will be very happy & there may be some chocolate buttons.

(I'd struggle with poo & chocolate buttons in the same sentence myself - but there you go!)

You should try and avoid telling him if possible. A good bridge between you telling him and him telling you is to ask him if he needs to go. If he says no, then don't force it. That way you're reminding him, but making him responsible for when he goes. You may have an accident or two, but he'll soon get the idea and in the long-run it'll be easier. You can find that children who are always prompted will continue to have accidents outside the home (when they're not being prompted) for a long time, it's often a problem in reception/nursery classes at school where they would expect them to go when they need to. If he's only been in pants for a month, it's not really a problem, but be aware of continuing to do it long term.

No comment on the bag of poo!

Could be worse. At least your poo was bagged up. We use cloth nappies and there was one other baby at our nursery using cloth, and they unfortunately used identical nappies. The mother of this baby was a bit of a nightmare (would make an appointment to complain if her baby came home in the wrong socks) and constantly try to get other people to agree with her that the nursery was rubbish.
One day her baby was put in one of my baby's nappies and sent home in it - she could apparently tell because our nappies were newer and therefore less faded. She came to the nursery the next day, created a massive stink and claimed that I was also going to be furious (she had met me at that point so I am not sure where she got that idea from - as long as my child is clean, fed and happy I don't mind if he comes home dressed as a Christmas fairy to be honest) and she returned the nappy, unwashed, and still containing her child's day-old poo! So I got back a nappy with someone else's child's poo in it to dispose of and wash. I was strongly tempted to remove the poo, put it in a bag and deposit it in her pram with a note saying "I think you forgot something".

annec555 she gave you back your nappy with her child's poo in it???

Well she did say you were going to be furious... , after that I bet you were!!

bloody nora... I would give it back and tell her to clean it first...

Honestly, what are some people ON?

i think reminding your dc to go isn't that bad an idea - maybe a way to do it would be at times of transition - so after breakfast/before leaving the house, on arrival at nursery, after break, before/after lunch, before leaving nursery/when arriving home, before bath/after bath, before bed. something like that. Sometimes children don't want to poo in nursery or school so if they have a little schedule the nursery workers remind them of (rather than the chocolate button scenario) the poo will eventually come...for boys, it might mean every time they wee they then sit down and do a little push with their bum for a minute and see if anything happens

I know! It is one of those things you don't even need to ask AIBU about!
My friend and I did lurk around the nursery at pick-up time for a couple of days, me to see if I could catch her and tell her exactly what I thought and my friend to watch the fun!
Unfortunately she left the nursery les than a week after the incident so I never got a chance.
Hopefully she is on Mumsnet!

Can I just add another to that woman giving your nappy back with an actual poo in it? DS comes home in a range of interesting tops and trousers (usually because I've forgotten to top up the spares in his box) and the courteous thing to do is to launder them and give them back to nursery: it's my fault for not providing my son with sufficient clothing.

Sometimes we get someone else's mucky clothes by mistake. Oh well, into the wash they go. I tend to do a wash a day as it is. I would never give them back dirty. How disgusting would that be, when the poor parent gets them back all crusty and grim? What a weirdo she sounds, especially the bit where she then tried to get you involved. And anyway, is not poo-leaving in this way dangerous? What if you up the ante? Be the bigger person: walk away from the poo war before someone gets hurt. Or covered in poo.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 - sorry, I have to ask.....what's with the chocolate buttons?!!

LOL, she left? thank goodness!! The pooey nappy lynch mob!!

A MNer, I would sincerely hope not... NMer perhaps...