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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 and a half weeks 'lead in' to school is mad!

170 replies

fifitot · 14/09/2010 21:40

DD started reception. The children have 4 days consisting of 2 hours, 4 days the following week from 9.30-2 and then it is not until the following week they start full time.

It's madness. Most of the kids in her class have been in the nursery anyway and hardly need nearly 3 weeks to bed in to school!

Talk about inconvenience for parents. I'm all for a gentle introduction for the kids but think this is ridiculous. Every other school near us does a couple of half days and then away they go! How people who work full time manage it I do not know.

It will be half term and they will have hardly done a full day in school!

OP posts:
booyhoo · 15/09/2010 00:30

whatkatydid the parents pay taxes.Hmm it is nothing to do with the schools forgetting 'who pays their wages', which is the LEA btw.

and the schools' priority is what is better for the children. yes it is inconvenient for a few weeks but you know what, kids do have needs and parents should expect to have to be flexible in order to meet their own children's needs.

StableButDeluded · 15/09/2010 00:50

I'm amazed to hear of all these staggered starts. DS is five this month, he started only last Friday, NO half days at all-straight in to a full day in a full class of 30. The school started them in age order so that the youngest started on the monday-there were only 6 children there that day.

I actually think this put him and the others that started on the last day at a bit of a disadvantage. I mean OK, so he's nearly 5 but he's a bit shy & I think he would have settled a lot better if he'd been able to do a few half days at least.

I think we start our children at school too young in this country. Don't they start at about age 7 in Scandinavia? And they're doing better than us in just about everything!

tadjennyp · 15/09/2010 00:51

I wish. I live in the States and in our school district the kids start kindergarten at aged 5 and are part-time the entire year! Ds birthday is in September so he will be almost 7 by the time he goes full time. Shock It is quite patriarchal here with sahms being the norm.

borderslass · 15/09/2010 07:03

when mine all started school it was half day until october youngest is now 14 and they've only just changed to a couple of weeks settling in.

curlymama · 15/09/2010 08:26

Parents paying taxes or not, the school has to do what is best for the children. It might suit those children that have been in full time daycare, but what about the ones that haven't?

The parents that work have been paying for childcare for a long time anyway, surely getting a childminder or something for a few weeks won't make that much difference for them. At our school, those children would be in the minority, and the families with sahm's pay taxes too. From the posts so far on this thread, it doesn't seem that the overwhelming majority would want their children to go full time from the start.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/09/2010 08:36

I won't want DS to start full-time right away. He will start doing 2 afternoons a week of pre-school after Easter, and then move to 2.5/3 days a week after the summer break.

The primaries here do a 3 week settling in period, one week mornings, then adding lunch, and then adding afternoons.

domesticsluttery · 15/09/2010 08:51

At my DC's school they start FT from day one. They also start them the term immediately after they turn 4, so DD who turned 4 in February started after Easter.

They also do half days for 2 weeks at the end of the term before they start, so then they do 3 hours of nursery school in the morning followed by an afternoon in school.

None of my three had any problems settling in. They were all tired in the beginning but that soon wore off.

LittleMissHissyFit · 15/09/2010 09:20

We have 2 weeks of half time.

TBH, I worry that rather than reassure a child, it actually makes so much fuss of the settling in sessions, that even the most confident child thinks, Oh, should I be worried about this.

My DS got really nervous somehow about it all, there were a few developmental issues he had solved months ago, that came back.

With some DC I dare say it may be OK to stagger, but I fear with the majority, it's better to just get on with it.

The other thing that annoyed me, the last settling in session, last Friday, was an hour long. The DC were then to start half days this Monday.

Who would have thought to bring the child in flaming uniform.. for ONE hour??? Apparently some parents asked the teachers, they said it wasn't necessary, but they hadn't had a yes or no instruction.

Erm, when does common sense apply? Just say no...

pointless vent over now... Grin

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/09/2010 10:22

I also agree that this is best for DD, she went to nursery from 8-3 but after 9-1 she is tired, the one afternoon a week she does in a smaller group allows the teacher to do some more one to one work with the children. Going full time after half term is also optional.

allbie · 15/09/2010 11:06

Yes, we did know that our DS4 could be sent in the summer term but felt socially, he would benefit from mixing at the start and creating friendships. DS4 was at nursery part-time and that was enough. Had he been born three wks later, he'd still be there! Many of his nursery peers moved on too though. I just think it's a great sadness that he can't just get up during the week now and head off out with me to do fun stuff. I should've waited and I kick myself really. He'll be fine but that's not the point...he's in the 'system' and it's such a shit one. Home ed is fine in principal but we've let him lead the way and he's able to read, do simple sums, count forever, use a calculator, use the computer, spell short words so academia isn't a problem. He loves to socialise and so the school setting for that seems okay...just not every day and all day.

DastardlyandSmugly · 15/09/2010 11:13

They do this at one of my local schools and I think it's madness - makes life really difficult for the working mums.

Luckily at the school DS goes to they staggered the entry over a week but once they were there they were there full-time.

Bramshott · 15/09/2010 11:20

Ha ha ha (weeps quietly) - when DD2 starts next year the summer borns will be part time until CHRISTMAS Sad Shock!

allbie · 15/09/2010 11:31

What causes the problems for parents with a small child starting reception on a part-time basis? Is it because work is a problem or the short amount of time before going back to get the child, so getting shopping etc is a problem? Do you feel your child needs to be away from you or do you need the child to be away from you for breathing space? Do you like the routine school life imposes?

ThingOne · 15/09/2010 11:34

My DS2's school does five weeks of part time. Yes, it's annoying for me but even after less than two weeks my summer born son is exhausted. He loves school and wants it to go on all day. He was happy at nursery and is knows the school, teacher/TA and half the children as he is a younger child. But he still needs part time!

I think there's a big difference between nursery ratios and school ratios. I think it was 1 to 4 at nursery, or 1 to 8. Now it's 2 to 30. It's a far, far bigger environment and the expectations are higher.

I'm not saying I haven't sworn in exasperation but I do think it's best for my son.

DastardlyandSmugly · 15/09/2010 12:03

DS is also exhausted after school but think this is natural for the first term regardless. It would be impossible for me to manage as I work full-time.

ChippingIn · 15/09/2010 13:31

allbie for my friend it's that they both work, until their DS started school he was in full time nursery. One of them could take a few days off to do a few days of half days, but weeks of it is ridiculous. The have a childminder sorted for when he is at school full time, but the CM can't pick up/drop off for the half days due to other committments.

He would also have settled better just doing what his big brother does and 'go to school' which for him is the whole day.

lazylula · 15/09/2010 14:03

After this morning I wish ds1's school did that! He started on Monday, straight to full time and is already shattered. We had tears going to school this morning, he wanted to go home to sleep!

staranise · 15/09/2010 14:08

Our school is half days til October; the borough next to us is half days til Christmas! I agree it's a pain for parents particularly if you (like me) work plus have older kids who need collecting at 3 as well.

But...i think it is better for the children - even the ones who haave been to nursery find it a big transition and they are sooo tired. Some of the children are only just four, babies really, adn FT is very hard on them.

smokinaces · 15/09/2010 14:12

DS1 started 2 weeks ago. He has another 10 days of part time (till 11.30) then another 3 weeks of including lunch (so to 12.30) and is full time for the week before half term.

Bloody nightmare. He may be the youngest in the class, but even he would cope with full time already. All the parents agreed 1 week to 11.30, 1 week to 12.30, then full time after that would be fine, but its not our choice. Hoping we can rally the PTA to get it changed for when DS2 starts in 2 years as its been a nightmare trying to juggle work even with a leniant boss.

pinkbasket · 15/09/2010 14:13

YABU.

What is the hurry?

Mine all did mornings until January. It was fine and they are all doing really well now.

mangoandlime · 15/09/2010 14:26

YABU. My ds2 has just started Reception. Half in the morning one week, then swap, then morning with lunch all together as a whole class then onto full days. ds1 had five weeks of it!

At the moment the teacher/TA are getting to know the children really well and remember, not all children have been to nursery for whole days, so I welcome this settling in period. I work but we've have around three months to plan for this. DS is five already so well able to cope but I'd rather it was this way. It's not forever.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 15/09/2010 14:31

DS goes full time week commencing 4th October.

I'm just really enjoying playing with him these last precious afternoons before my last DC goes fulltime. Sad

Ragwort · 15/09/2010 14:32

Agree its madness, my DS just started 'full time' on Day 1 - no problem - he had been used to going to Play School and Nursery School (which was actually a longer day than the school day !) - unfortunately he was NEVER exhausted Grin.

Bramshott · 15/09/2010 15:11

Lazylula - I'd say exhaustion definitely counts as illness in Reception, so if your DS is really tired, just keep him off one Friday.

Faaamily · 15/09/2010 15:15

My DS's last school had an epic settling in period. It was ridiculous - all sorts of convoluted '2 hours a day for one week, 2 hours 30 mins the next' and so on. Half the kids had been doing half days at the nursery in the room next door and plenty of the other kids had been in wraparound daycare since babyhood. There were only a few children who hadn't been away from their parents before.

I think the endless settling palava can be quite counterprodutcive, actually. Why make a big deal of it?