to think calling a baby 'a little tramp' is disgusting?

[MummikinsOopNorth]

A girl is sat in the library on facebook with her toddler beside her in his pushchair and what I can gather, a neighbour of hers sat on the computer next to her.

She is completely ignoring the little one, and is effing and blinding in conversation with the boy next to her.

The baby threw his bottle on the floor and the woman called him 'a little tramp'.

I am really disturbed by the woman saying this, and swearing infront of the baby.

AIBU?

I call DS2 my dirty little Urchin, because he can't stay clean for more than 5 minutes!

A round of applause for little Panda! Good on you girl, and may you always be so assertive and kind. And Brassband, you sound a nasty bit of work.

I once saw a 4 year old being called a "little bitch" as a term of endearment.

This was at an ex's family funeral. It was an eye opener for me. Also I apologised when I carelessly lit a cigarette in front of his cousin who was 8 months pregnant. She then got out her own packet and lit up. Everyone thought my apology had been hilarious and there was nothing wrong with smoking while pregnant.

It was a desperate place, I'll never forget it. I was beyond judging that day, I just felt really

Some people are scum. 'Twas ever thus.

Is it possible brassbands comment was not meant to be nasty?

I sometimes call my DD (18 mnths) a little madam, but its when shes being extra fussy about her clothes or cleanliness of face and hands....

I once saw a small boy call a small girl (possibly his sister?) 'bitch', because she'd grabbed his bike to stop him pedalling in front of a car. They both looked about eight. Can't imagine what sort of stuff he must have heard or seen from his family. :(

I called my twinish two have been called shite-monkeys.

I returned to their bedroom after tucking them in following a long day, with new books to read to them and freshly filled milk cups
-to be met with a wall mural of excrement worthy of a place in the Tate Modern, two under two's who looked like they'd been rolled down a field full of cow pats and a previously lovely bedroom smelling like a kennel.

I love them dearly. Little sods.

Thanks to a Mumsnet thread I called my son a Tiny Wanker instead of a Whiny Tinker when he wouldn't get out of the pool and then bit me.

Luckily we were between two doors in a little antechamber separating the pool from the changing room whereas the OP was in a crowded GP surgery

I might get slated for this, but I can't see what's really so awful about the mum in the OP?

I wouldn't see any of the three "offensive" things mentioned as all that judgement-worthy in and of themselves. I guess for Mummikins to be disturbed by it, the context must have been bad, but just on the facts in the OP it doesn't sound awful to me.

So she was on facebook in the library and not paying attention to her son. But was he looking for her attention just then? Or might he have been drinking his bottle and / or playing with buggy toys while she had some down time? Maybe they'd just come from the park. Maybe she'd spent all day playing and cuddling with him. Everyone here spends time on the computer too, would it have been different if she'd been on MN in her living room rather than FB in the library?

She was swearing in front of him. Not to everyone's taste of course, but does that necessarily mean she's an awful mom? Was she swearing at him or about him, or just using swear words in conversation out of habit like a lot of people do? Was she saying "ct" and "motherfer" or "damn" and "hell"?

And the "little tramp" thing, well, others have already said that they've said the same or similar to their kids in a playful, affectionate way. Could that not have been the case here?

OK, if he was crying for her attention and she was ignoring him and telling her friend what a f*er his dad is and then he dropped the bottle and she screamed at him that he was a tramp, then yes, she's a terrible mother and the OP is right to judge.

But if that had been the case I'm guessing those details would have made it into the story.

PandaEis your little girl sounds lovely.

She reminds me of the little girl who stood up in the audience at a performance of the Sleeping Beauty ballet and told the wicked fairy 'Don't you dare put a spell on that baby!'

I think my first reaction if I had been you would be to be outraged.

However when I thought about it more, perhaps we are being unreasonable . I consier muyself to be an intelligent and articulate adult. I get help and support from my DH and family with looking after our children and we have a good income and comfortable lives. Even then, there are times when I struggle and lose my cool.

I can pnly imagine how hard it must be to be a young mum, with little or no support or income ( I realise this is making assupmtions about a lot of young single mums ) And I agree with Cloudy days , that for all we know, this young mother is a great mother and she has just lost it for a moment in the library. How many threads have we all seen on MN where a mother is at the end of her tether with a child? Doesnt mean we are terrible mums?

So, no I don't condone the young mother's behaviour and I am sure I would have been outraged if I had been there and witnessed this, but maybe we shouldn't be so quick so judge.