to exclude an elderly parent from our wedding?

35 replies

monochrome · 13/09/2010 20:54

He will tell racist and anti-gay jokes.He will make sure he is the centre of attention, one way or another.He ruins every event he attends. He made my DF's childhood a misery, and still tries to hit him sometimes.
What on earth can we do?
He is quite capable of violence if he is thwarted. He is also very good at emotional blackmail, now he is widowed, losing his sight, and alone.

OP posts:

pigletmania · 14/09/2010 09:40

Dont invite him, its your special day, you invite who you want to. Just because he is elderly and it might look bad does not matter, would you rather memories of your special day are tainted by the potential behaviour of this man.

1234ThumbWar · 14/09/2010 09:49

I didn't invite my father to my wedding(s) nobody asked, the first one was the big 100+ guests church number and the second was good friends only in a register office. He wasn't missed and I could relax and not worry about what he might do to spoil it - like just being there.

Your day, enjoy and congratulations.

AlCrowley · 14/09/2010 10:04

I didn't have my Dad at my wedding. In fact, I put notes in all the invites telling people he wasn't coming and not to mention the wedding if they saw him. We had a small ceremony and then a massive party in the evening. MIL even invited her friends too.

No-one said a word.

pilates · 14/09/2010 10:21

Def don't invite - do you and your DF want to be on edge all day wondering when he is going to kick off? I'm sure all your other family will be relieved hes not there. Relax and enjoy!

AngelsOnHigh · 14/09/2010 11:17

Don't tell him about the wedding.

Hullygully · 14/09/2010 11:19

"he loves to make a scene, swear, and embarrass his children."

I think that's your answer

thumbwitch · 14/09/2010 21:18

Minor hijack, sorry
Ooo hully - where have you been? Haven't seen you around for ages, was it just summer hols getting in the way?

ememum · 14/09/2010 21:53

I didn't invite my mother to my wedding as her husband can be awfully behaved (alcahol issues) and I have never had any regrets. It's your wedding.

Hullygully · 15/09/2010 12:41

ello Thumb, yep, summer ols and suchlike. demn nuisance...

coodles · 15/09/2010 17:19

Its your day, do what you feel comfortable with.

I suspect if you do invite him, you'll be on tenterhooks all day worrying about what he might do or say. It might wreck your day.

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