to be troubled by my sister's response

[squashimodo]

when I told her that h was sitting in the park instead of addressing our marriage problems with me, he was trying to show me what life would be like for me alone with our three autistic sons and baby daughter, I know he was being a shit and phoned my sister to offload. She asked me what I had done wrong to make him react like that.
Since then, after I got over how affronted I felt that she wasn't concerned about how me made me feel, I realised that the reason she found his behaviour acceptable is that she has been brainwashed into accepting that men have a right to treat women like children by punishing them.

The man is an unfeeling idiot with a poor and irresponsible attitude.

How nice that your husband automatically assumes that if you were to split up you would be left to look after 3 autistic children and a baby and that he would be sitting pretty. I'd be far less concerned about my sister than my husband if I were you. Her idea that his behaviour is acceptable is her problem, not yours.

Oh I know my husband is a shit.
Of the highest order.
Fucwit.
Shit.

He is nice to his mates though.

he probably spun your sister a story about how crap you were - no doubt your family all think he's wonderful for coping with your situation and many men would have walked away etc etc blah blah - and perhaps you have always been the doormat in your own family as well, hence they prefer to believe him over you. Don't know, wildly speculating, just answered your other thread as well and you, missus, have some serious problems with this man and possibly the rest of your family.

Get rid of him as soon as you can - and if you have toxic family, lose them too.

You are right thumbwitch, I have all those issues in my life.
You have made me cry. Someone who knows and understands without me having to talk about everything.
I think I will go to bed now.
Thankyou again. It means alot to me
xx

You're welcome - come back and chat any time. Sleep well xx

Why is he offloading to your sister?

She should be supporting you surely? Has she had bad relationships where she thinks it is acceptable for men to treat women this way?

If your H is a fuckwit like you said, why are you with him?

BTW, yes he sounds like a total prick.

I don't know your situation so it would be unreasonable of me to comment on it, or comment on your husband, but your sister's comment isn't unusual. A friend split up from her husband recently (her choice due to his behaviour) and her family's immediate response was "what did you do wrong" and "can't you do something to get him back". It's a pretty crappy assumption to make, that she's done something to make him behave like this. You can either explain the situation to your sister in the hope that she will understand or confide in someone else.

unless your sister was his friend before the 2 of you got together, i'd find this very odd TBH

I would be LIVID if my DH spoke to my sister about our marriage instead of sorting things with me, and LIVID with HER if she did not support me 100% and kick his backside for him

this is not going to get better on its own, OP, you need to make some brave decisions.