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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking these older children were out of order?

19 replies

minxofmancunia · 12/09/2010 22:25

dds 4th birthday party, bouncy castle in back garden.

one little girl who came is a neighbours child, don't know her very well but trying to be you know, neighbourly.

She has 3 older sisters. Party starts and 4 8+ year olds (at least) turn up and immediately take over the bouncy castle. 10 or so 3 and 4 year olds look on folornly. they are neighbours kids older sisters and their friends. Give them 5 minutes then ask them to get off so the invited guests can go on!!

Anyway to cut a long story short I spent most of the afternoon policing them, making sure they weren't on the castle, they ate loads of the food after it was laid out and one of the other parents had to ask me to aks them not to.They also grew in size, at one point there were about 8 of them. I said several times, "ok you've had a go on the castle the party is just for the little ones now" and ask them to leave then they'd skulk off down the street and then one or more of them would slip past me back in. they all kept using the excuse that they were looknig after the little sister who had been invited. the dad appeared a few times and I said to him too "the party is just for the little ones now" but he did sweet fa to get his other dcs and their mates off the premises.

I'm really really f*king pissed off. Admittedly dd had a lovely time, I expect her 3 and 4 year old mates didn't give a s*t but I'm fuming. It was a 4 year olds birthday party not a street free for all!!I missed it all trying to keep an eye on them.

So much for being neighbourly I'm keeping my curtains well shut from now on.

OP posts:

Myleetlepony · 12/09/2010 22:35

Did you think of getting in touch with their parents to explain what was going on?

Original poster

minxofmancunia · 12/09/2010 22:39

If I'd know who there parents were i would have done! they kept multiplying and I didn't know who belonged to who. they are kids who "play out" of an eve, we've lived her a year and I only know a few of the neighbours.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 12/09/2010 22:41

You need a bigger side gate with a bolt on the inside of it! That is crap though, the parents should have done something and the kids should have been old enough to clear off when told.

bumpsoon · 12/09/2010 22:41

Bouncy castle is a recipe for gatecrashers ,anyone under 12 can smell one 100 feet away ,lesson learnt

PixieOnaLeaf · 12/09/2010 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cece · 12/09/2010 22:48

I suspected you didn't say it with enough authority. There is a knack to getting rid of older children. You have to be quite clear and to my ears I sound quite rude but it seems to work! LOL

PS They probably all think I am a witch

Original poster

minxofmancunia · 12/09/2010 22:58

I suspect you're right cece, although I did ask them about 5 times.

they prob think i'm a right bad tempered old cow.

OP posts:

Original poster

minxofmancunia · 12/09/2010 23:01

Don't know anyones phone numbers pixie they're just children I see playing out of an eve. Apart from the one 4 sisters family I don't even know who they belong to!

It's Dhs fault, he's so bloody sociable. Talks to everyone. If it was my way we'd be living in splendid isolation

OP posts:

VirginonRidiculous · 12/09/2010 23:19

Agree with Cece. I have plenty of garden invasions although not at a party. When things are getting crazy and the older kids are getting a bit too much my choice of wording usually goes something like this "RIGHT, you've had your fun now go and play somewhere else". Then I smile. They usually just shrug and run off. Then come back the next day. Children are quite hard to offend in my limited experience.

VirginonRidiculous · 12/09/2010 23:20

But they were out of order btw. Can't imagine the stress, especially when trying to keep all of your guest happy.

Original poster

minxofmancunia · 12/09/2010 23:25

It was bloody stressful! especially after the last 3 days prep for the party, that's why I was so pissed off. A lot of the parents from dds nursery were a bit at all the uninvited guests as it was supposed to be a 4 year olds party.

so f**king pissed off they ate the food.

OP posts:

VirginonRidiculous · 12/09/2010 23:33

The kids that come in to my garden all seem to have have quite good manners and I don't think would do this. I may just be lucky that they have a certain degree of etiquete but when I offer out juidce and treats they all line up and say thank you (proabably scared of me and my army style shouting ).

I may be lucky with the kids from our street but what sort of children just help themselves and trounce a party. I too would be very upset. Angry for you Minx

VirginonRidiculous · 12/09/2010 23:34

etiquette ..blah blah blah, how thick of me etc.

AnnieLobeseder · 12/09/2010 23:39

Good grief, the enduring politeness of the British in the face of total rudeness baffles me no end!

I would have told them, very loudly and clearly, to get the hell off my property and stop spoiling a child's birthday party. And you can bet their parents would have heard me too, that's how loud I would have been!

princesspuds · 12/09/2010 23:47

Get your own back at Halloween, put some joke sweets in their goody bags

Original poster

minxofmancunia · 13/09/2010 08:29

annielobeseder you are so so right, i should have just told them loudly and firmly to get the hell lost rather than getting completely stressed out and hissing at DH. It spoilt it a bit TBH, I'm still f**king fuming the next day which is completely unlike me!!!

All the parents of dds nursery friends looked baffled as if they'd been invited to the wrong party, so pissed off.

They've started trying to "call" for dd prior to this, she's only just 4 ffs, they've come in through the side gate and seem to have this fascination with our house, prob because we've got the biggest garden with swings etc in. It's doing my head in, I'm not one for other people childern at the best of times, let alone surlyolder ones completely uninvited.

If they appear later i'll be telling them straight!

OP posts:

DetectivePotato · 13/09/2010 09:24

How rude!!!!

I would have told them straight that they weren't invited as soon as they appeared.

Next time, don't bother being neighbourly at all and don't invite the other girl again, then the others can't turn up claiming to be looking after her and if the parents say anything, you can explain what happened last time.

hobbgoblin · 13/09/2010 09:27

agree with cece. i astound self with bluntness when dealing with my elder DC's mates!

welshdeb · 13/09/2010 09:37

Get a lock/ bolt /bigger gate or whatever you need to protect your property.
They are only kids and as such are very difficult to offend as other posters said and conversely probably unaware of how rude their behaviour was as most young children aren't that self aware.
Also be blunt and say no when they call for dd on the pretext of accessing your garden and what's in it.
They will probably shrug their shoulders and move on to their next target er I mean friend.

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