to not want brother in law to send bday gifts for children they have not seen for 2 years.........

[Maryqueenofchocs]

Long and boring story but my Brother in Law has not been to see or been in touch with my 2 children for 2 years, he is DS godfather. Both their bdays are coming up in Oct and I want DH to call and say not to bother sending presents as children have forgotten who he is now.....

I cannot be bothered buying them all xmas presents this year and this way it just nails it now rather than having a tense conversation at xmas.....

btw, he's been a major arse and i'm well within my rights not to bother with him again........

AIBU?

You say he hasn't been in touch for 2 years - has he sent presents before? If not I assume he won't send again this year then it's reasonable for you not to bother with them!

He sends something for them each birthday and xmas, but it just seems pointless. They don't know who he is and it means I have to reciprocate for him and his gf. They have no children.

You don't have to reciprocate, if it's only the children who get presents.

Just write a thank-you note and accept the presents. It's very harsh to tell people not to bother.

Have you been to see him? Has it been a one-sided relationship?

why did you ask him to be godparent if he's a major arse?

What atswim said, just write a thank you and leave it at that. If they dont send next time so be it.

No we all send presents to each other at xmas too, and I honestly can't be bothered anymore. I would be far happier to say send for the children if you really want to, but stop sending anything for us.

It's so two faced to not speak all year and then send a gift?

I know if I initiate the phonecall to put a stop to it I will be made the family scapegoat though...

arghhh...

he wasn't so much of an arse 8 years ago...!

Just let him send the gift. I like your name BTW

I feel beholden, tbh I would like to shove the gift where the sun doesn't shine...but I am far too much of a laydeeeeeeeee....

OP I wonder if he has picked up on how you feel about him?

I think it is incredibly harsh to say - hey we do not see you so we do not want your gifts either.

Have you invited him to stay?

Does he live far away?

Do you make an effort to stay in touch?

pink we had a row 2 years ago and tbh althou we've called him he has never called back.

He's not interested in the children, or us. His new girlfriend hates kids and he's adopted the same view.

We've just had enough.