I've a planned c section (due to tocophobia) for the end of September and currently suffering from anxiety and depression. I should mention that I am utterly thrilled however to be pregnant, this means everything to me.
My mother who lives a considerable distance away is sulking because she wanted to be involved at time of birth. As she has no money other than her pension, this means me organising and paying for her flight, my husband picking her up from the airport which is at least an hour from our house and her staying in our house when we no longer have a spare bedroom. I said I'd prefer to arrange visits once the baby arrived and that I'd be bringing the baby to visit her so that all the family could meet ASAP. Nonetheless, this isn't good enough for her - the woman who preferred to buy cigarettes and alcohol than basic essentials such as tampons for her teenage daughters now feels entitled to be a core part of the birth of my first child.
My youngest sister fell out with me last year as I wouldn't lend her a large sum of money for something she really didn't need "graciously" got back in touch a few months ago). She also wanted to visit the hospital and with her drug-dealing boyfriend, who is 25 years older than her, dad to five children already and whom I've never met, en route from their holiday somewhere in the UK. She wanted to arrange it now so as to not interrupt their holiday plans. I explained that as I don't know how I'll be feeling after the op, I'd rather arrange for visitors to the hospital after the birth rather than right now. She went mad and sent a barrage of abusive texts claiming that we aren't a family because of me (somehow forgetting that she hasn't spoken to either of the parents for over ten years and repeatedly falls out with everyone until she needs money which she never pays back), that she is a much better person and so much happier than me because she earns more, has friends who actually like her and is in a genuine relationship whereas I only married because "no-one else would want me". There was more but I've mentally blocked it out and I was trying to delete the texts rather than read them. The truth is that she has generally messed up her life and expects everyone else to make it up to her. I have spent so much time and effort on her over the past twenty years and can hardly believe this. I had no idea she hated me so much.
I'm really not sure what to do. I think with my sister then ignoring her and hoping she doesn't get back in contact is the best option. With my mother, it's harder because she's passive aggressive and won't talk about it outright but opts to sulk. I know my family think I'm being unreasonable but all I wanted was a few days to recover without having to deal with them. I have previously always sought to put them first but given the importance of the birth to me and the arrival of my new baby I thought that I was justified in my decisions. Now I just feel destroyed.
Any advice or suggestions on managing all this would be much appreciated.