to feel really upset about my colleagues reaction of being a young mum

[veryconfused1]

I started my job at a brand new international school abroad. Here women don't usually have their children till mid to late thirties. And when they do have kids its very pampering with 1950s style dress and lots hair combing and cologne.

I am in mid twenties, sometimes look younger but I come across fun and carefree, but I have a four year old and am married. For the first two weeks i was making loads of friends with the younger crowd of teachers (mix of nationalities) we all went out and it was a laugh. The closer women my age knew my situation but I didnt broadcast my whole life story to everyone else yet. However when I brought in my daughter to start at the same school 2 weeks later, I had such a weird reaction from all the other teachers. Everyone seemed really shocked that I had a four year old. One woman actually asked me if I was joking that she was mine. I see the older women with kids talking about me when im standing around with daughter with a smirk on their faces. A lot of them don't really treat me the same way, as if I am white trash or something. I am feeling really upset. Why can't they just realise that some people have their kids younger etc. what should I do?

I would think an International school would be filled with all different sorts of people from different places, so seems very odd/difficult that this one is so steeped in the local traditions.

Think you have no option but to ignore, and hope to find an acquaintance/friend who is more tolerant of different choices/lifestyles/cultures.

Fwiw - if your situation was so 'shocking' and 'unacceptable' perhaps you wouldn't have been hired by the school in the first place. Clearly, the administration didn't have a problem with your situation.

Be cordial, but look for other workplace friends. Or, if they're not to be found, enjoy your life outside of work.

Blimey.... which country are you in that mothers dress like it's the 50's and are so easily shocked? If you were unmarried, late teens with a four year-old maybe eyebrows could rise just. But married and mid-twenties? Bizarre. Agree... give the nosey, judgemental cows a wide berth and ignore them.

They're jealous, surely. I wish I'd had my DD ten years ago!

I know its so weird. I can't believe something like this would cause them to be so mean. Yes Earlybird the director was even happier as I had experience with my own etc. I just dont get it. Maybe I came across really young at the beginning as I was up for going out with people my age etc. But its not just the older mums its some of the younger teachers, especially one teacher. He has be really odd since that day and its sad because we are friends with the same group at school. Should just give people time to get used to it i suppose and ignore the cows

YANBU.

i have dealt with this frequently, its a pita, im 22 this week and i have a ds aged 3 and dd who is 21mnths. It doesnt help that apparently i look younger, i was at a personalised wooden toy stall once and found somethink i liked for ds and commented to my mum, id need two tho, dd would love this too. The stall holder goes, oh brothers and sisters hey, me no i my children, stallholder, Oh my, how old are you, you look 16. Me, early 20s. puts down toy and leaves.

luckily ive now found some lovely mum friends, who dont seem to care how old i am!