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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my moving date, even though it will (badly) put out the next people to move in?

40 replies

ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 16:11

Sorry, long and complicated & also a bit AIBU/WWYD.
We are currently in rented house, and have bought a new build. New house supposed to be ready beginning of September, we gave notice from 30th September to give us basically a month as a buffer in case of delays, so we could move slowly & less stress etc.

Estate agent found new people to move in. They were desperate to get in asap as their lease was laready up on their old place. We agreed to bring our move forward by almost 2 weeks so they could get in earlier.

That means this thursday, 16th. It's a real pain, as 2 of our kids are due to start brand new schools on 14th, 2 days earlier. Anyway, all seemed to be on track with the house, so we agreed.

We got the keys to our house on Saturday, and we thought we had 3 days to sort out house before move, still fine, no probs. Anyway, we got the keys and it is a bit of a disaster. The kitchen is literally only half finished. No hob, most doors missing, no extractor hood, all of which are boxed up and taking up 80% of the dining room/ living room floor.

Apart from the kitchen, the phone won't be connected till the end of September, and The kitchen won't be finished also till end September.

And apart from that I noted 16 other problems with the house. Some of them biggish (2 rooms without a light or any electricity?!) most of them minor.

So do I kill myself to get as much done as possible in the next 3 days (bearing in mind half of Tuesday written off taking kids to new schools, could take up to 2 hours) and put up with unfinished kitchen and no phone etc etc.

Or it occured to me, we could get it all fixed stress free and move out at the original planned time, after all this buffer was to protect us from exactly this.

BUT I do feel guilty about new family moving in, and this week Oktoberfest starts, so Munich will be heaving and they might have problems finding hotel and rearranging their move.?

AIBU to say too many problems with house, we're staying until our contract ends, or even 1 week later (half way compromise? Or would it be terrible to go back on agreement (they were awfully pushy though :( )

OP posts:
QS · 12/09/2010 16:15

Just tell them you wont be able to move out earlier than the 30th, as YOUR house is not finnished.

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 16:18

That's what I want to do, as, coupled with starting new schools and now no effing kitchen, it's all going to be mega stressful, and I was driving back from new house hyperventialating, when it occured to me, why should I have such a nightmare stress enourmous amount of shit to put right in 2 bloody days, when we wanted to go at the end of the month to avoid the stress in the first place.

But dh thinks we should stick to the agreement and thinks I'm mental.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 12/09/2010 16:19

It's a bit short notice to change your mind I think. Can see the problem though.

jabberwocky · 12/09/2010 16:21

Sorry, I agree with your dh. You should have thought it through before agreeing but you've basically said these people have nowhere else to go at this point.

IHeartKingThistle · 12/09/2010 16:22

Hmmm. But at the end of the day you have somewhere to go and they may not. We're currently at the other end of your situation and it isn't nice. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. Hope it all goes well.

QS · 12/09/2010 16:22

You did not know your house would not be finnished when you made the agreement.

ozmetric · 12/09/2010 16:22

YABU, sorry.

onadietcokebreak · 12/09/2010 16:26

When have you paid rent up until. Think its short notice to change it now.

Nancy66 · 12/09/2010 16:36

You need to stick to the agreement. As somebody said - you DO have somewhere to go...put yourself in this other family's shoes - how would you feel?

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 16:38

They are currently staying with friends.

We have paid rent until 30th September.

They have offered to reimburse us for the 2 weeks moving out early.

OP posts:
onimolap · 12/09/2010 16:48

You may find you don't have the choice any more.

Once you had given your consent for the new, earlier, move-out date to the estate agent and all parties accepted the variation, then that's it. Did you confirm in writing?

Get on to the estate agent first thing on Monday to check.

In the mean time, have a stiff drink and keep your fingers crossed that it will all be sorted in a couple of weeks. Do you have any family/friends nearby that you could camp with?

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 16:53

Their contract on this house starts from 1st October, that is 100% definite.

I really don't want to let them down, and normally wouldn't. Even the 16 or whatever problems with the house I could live with/work round. But the kitchen is too much.

I can't move any of my furniture into the ground floor as it stands as A. the rooms are full of kitchen boxes and B. the rooms couldn't be cleaned due to the workmen still coming or going, so are really thick with serious, industrial building dust. And how do I feed my 4 kids with no hob for 2 weeks?

Actually, she just called and I said I was sorry and explained the situation. I have explained the problem and said I will be on to the kitchen company first thing and do my utmost to have it sorted tomorrow or Tuesday. If they do sort it, then no problem, if they don't well, I don't konw and I will have to get back to her. I told her again I will do my very best to stick with the arrangement.
gah.

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/09/2010 17:04

I'm confused: if you're renting, how come you have an option?

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 17:05

sorry LRD, what do you mean (thick emoticon)

OP posts:
MangoTango · 12/09/2010 17:08

I think you have to stick with the agreement as they bought your house on the understanding that you would move out at a certain time. You got a house sale out of making the agreement. They may have decided to make other arrangments (eg rent elsewhere) had they known you would welch on the agreement. It is very annoying for you that the house isn't finished yet, but this is your problem, not the problem of the people you made the agreement with. Obviously you will do what you want to do and there is not much they can do about it, but i do think it would be unethical to back out of the agreement you made.

MangoTango · 12/09/2010 17:08

Hope you manage to sort out the problems

StealthPolarBear · 12/09/2010 17:09

Sorry you are in this situation :( However many people have to live without a kitchen when they're having them re-done. Would you be able to plug your fridge, microwave and kettle in anywhere else?

JaneS · 12/09/2010 17:10

I'm sure it's me being thick, actually. I just don't understand how you can stay there, if the place is rented? Surely if it's rented, you have a date to be out by and the other people's contract starts after that.

mangoandlime · 12/09/2010 17:11

Okay, so your kitchen isn't finished etc etc but you will be alright! New builds always have this 'snagging' period after moving in, probably not as major as the kitchen not being in but the end of Sep will soon be here. We moved into as new build 8 years ago and you'll just look back and wonder how time went so quickly, plus I think you'll feel pretty shitty about not letting the other people move in when you said they could. Your kids can start school from the new house, you'll be okay! Stick to what you said.

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 17:12

mango, we haven't sold the house. We are renting in, and have paid rent until 30th Spetember. We have however bought a new house.

They have a rental contract on this house as of 1st October. They are currently in a hotel, so should be able to just stay on there, which is what they'd originally planned to do. (I thought they were staying with friends but I just spoke to her and she mentioned she was at the hotel)

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/09/2010 17:16

If I were the other people, I would be furious, sorry. I would kick up a stink with the estate agent and do everything I could to get you out. They have a contract, and so do you.

I do see it's a right pain but I think if you stayed there you'd be on shaky legal ground (I know it's very hard to evict someone, but I wouldn't be surprised if they tried).

MangoTango · 12/09/2010 17:17

Maybe you could offer to pay them the difference between the cost of a further two weeks in the hotel where they are staying and what they would have been paying you back for 2 weeks rental of the property you are moving out of. I imagine it is costing them a lot more to stay in a hotel than it would do for two weeks rent of your house?

BelligerentGhoul · 12/09/2010 17:17

If you've already agreed to move out early, I think it would be v unfair of you to now turn around and say you've changed your minds.

Original poster
ErnestTheBavarian · 12/09/2010 17:29

Lrd, yes we do have a contract - till 30th September, and they have a contract, from 1st October.

They couldn't evict us from a house we have paid for and they legally aren't entitled to till 1st October.

But morally, yes, I feel I should stuck to the agreement and have told her I will try my best to. Maybe I'll threaten the bloody kitchen company with the hotel and restaurant bills as they were supposed to have it all sorted by Friday, and then there wouldn't be z problem in the 1st place.

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/09/2010 17:35

Oh, I see! Sorry, I was thinking you wanted to stay after Oct. 1st, and thought that was out of order.

In that case, I think it's a little tough on them to change your mind, but that's the breaks for them.

Sorry, I am obviously not all there today.