To leave this rural idyll for the Big Smoke.?

[QueeferSutherland]

Am I?

I live in a wee village in Hampshire, minutes walk from an "excellent/outstanding" school, a short drive from friends & family, but DH & I are thinking of moving to London.

Neither of us have lived there, but it would be good for DH's job, and I'd like to be, well, nearer stuff.

Are we mad?

YANBU. Hampshire's only a hop and a skip away.

And despite what EVERYONE says, there are plenty of outstanding schools in London.

It's not for everyone but if you think it would suit you then go for it :) Have you visited it much? How about spending some longer periods of time there before you take the plunge?

Depends on you both really. I live in London, was brought up here and just love it, could never leave, but lots of people hate it.

If you do I would suggest looking hard into areas to ensure you get what you need.

I love it, but I live in a flat with no garden in an area I love rather than a house with a garden - that was my choice to stay here.

If you have lots of money! London will be so expensive. You will be close to stuff you want and also stuff you don't want.

But isn't it a massive bunfight for places, Tondelayo?

What about crime?
I never lock my door!
DH left the keys in the ignition of his unlocked BMW a while ago and it was still there in the morning!

Hmm, well DH could earn a lot more in the capital, and commuting isn't an option.

YANBU - however,

London is hard work. I grew up there and it is the one place on earth I wouldn't move back to unless I had a truck load of money.

London is great fun if you can afford a nice house in Hampstead or Kensington... you can walk across the park to work, go out to the threatre in the evening and so on...

In reality, unless you are very rich, you will be living in Suburbia. Although it is only 7 miles from the centre, it will still take over an hour on a sardine packed sweaty underground train to get into town. The cultural highlight of suburbia will be a single wine bar and a greek restaurant.

You will intend to go to town on th weekend/evenings... but will find it too exhausting after a week's commute and too expensive anyway....

and the price of everything... houses, travel, beer.. will scare you...

Tis nicer in the countryside. Most Londoners are escaping!!

Why isn't commuting an option?

We live in Hampshire and dh commutes every day. It's a pain (and not what we originally intended - long story involving job loss etc) BUT the quality of life for the dcs is undoubtedly better.

I'd like to live in London (as I did pre-dcs) - or at least have a nice flat there (Lottery win permitting) but I am glad that the dcs are not urban children and they are able to walk to excellent primary and secondary schools.

OMG we have just taken the kids to London for the wekend and I really don't think I could live there.Everybody is in such a rush

G'wan I am so envious.I am heading back there once ds is older!Spent last weekend there went to comedy theatre stunning restaurant and 4 hrs on my own in knightsbridge.I felt so alive there no where else compares!

I looked at house prices in places like greenwich etc and no more than sussex kent and prob hampshire.You only live once

We're in London. I grew up in Hampshire. I suppose it depends on what you're looking for in terms of lifestyle, expectations, budget etc.

London is vast. Some areas are stunning, others horrendous. Often there'll be lovely bits across a street from dodgy areas. Some schools are great, others less so. Ditto at secondary.

Do you have any ideas of whereabouts in London you'd move to? Central, or somewhere more suburban?

Horses for courses - London may be perfect for your family. You can find bits of London with a village atmosphere (the best and worse parts), and there is lots of accessible green space in many areas.

The problem is that house prices in nice parts of London are ridiculously expensive. In many areas you won't get much change from £1m for what is basically a suburban semi. It depends on your priorities and as KTRace says where you are prepared to compromise.

Most Londoners don't live in the centre of London - it's really like a big group of small towns all very close together. The good side of this is that you can easily reach all the other small towns. However, for most people with children, their day to day experience is of the small area they live in, not the area most people would think of as the capital.

Do what you think is best for your family. As others have said, London can be a shock to the system after living in the country, plus it's extremely expensive so you should expect your quality of life to go down at least somewhat.

I was brought up in a vicarage next to a water mill in a tiny village surrounded by cows and more cows. The most exciting thing to happen was the village fete every year. When I was in my 20s, as you inevitably do, I moved to London for work/prospects/life, and found that unless you have the money to enjoy it, it can be a very isolate and exhausting place.

To cut a long story short, I did indeed get a job whilst I was there, saved and scrimped, and a few years later I bought back the vicarage and the mill. Now my DCs can cycle to the school across open countryside and climb trees like I used to. The happiest times of my life are the times spent out of London.

I'd move back to London like a shot if we won the lottery. However, to be able to afford a family home, in a nice neighbourhood, with good schools, low crime, and within a a short hop of the centre, is far, far beyond our means. And that of most people, I would imagine.

I've grown up in London and I love it. I wouldn't move away. Pick carefully where you want to live and do your research.

QS, you need to tell us where you would move to in London. It's a big place... What areas are you thinking about?

Not for me in a month of Sundays, but YANBU if it is right for you and your family.

If it is what you really want and can afford it,go for it.

That said,DH was headhunted for a job recently,that involved working in London,and we both decided it was out of the question,the commute would be a killer,we'd never see each other and we didn't want to take a drop in our standard of living.Plus if we sold this place we would never be able to buy in the village again,we have never lived in a city and the dd's love village life.For us it wasn't worth the career boost.

Where abouts would you like to live?

London, all the way. The countryside is for escaping to for brief visits: London is everything. EVERYTHING! Just be very, very careful about where you choose to live. You can be in a chi-chi area near a vast park and all the cafes, vintage shops and venues your heart could desire, and ten minutes up the road be on Murder Mile.

London's safe, too: the countryside and small towns creep me out. Who'd hear if you fell and were hurt, or were attacked? Here there's always bright lights and bustle. Best place in the world for children, too - they get brought up cultured, street-smart, fearless, cool.

Oh and another thing - because the cost of living is so high, and very few people have large houses and gardens, there's very little of the revolting conspicuous consumption to tend to get in the suburbs. No-one cares about whether you're getting your kitchen done or how big your car is (if you have one). There's so much more to think about. People are infinitely more challenging and itneresting because there's so much on offer, and getting an extension (or whatever) would be so unutterably tedious a topic of conversation no-one would join in.

Disclaimer: I live very centrally and most of my pals are in the arts. I suspect life is different amongst the pushy Boden-clad Muswell Hill set

Never moving. EVER. Unless I inherit a Scottish castle.

"getting an extension (or whatever) would be so unutterably tedious a topic of conversation no-one would join in."

Yeah, it is quite clear that you do not live in Boden on Thames

Sorry, had to feed children.

Gramercy, commuting is not an option because DH will be working 14 hour+ days. He wouldn't be home until 1.30am, earliest, and would have to leave again at 5am. Might kill the poor bloke.

Headbanger, I hear you about people being less judgy in the city. It's almost all ex-colonels and Bodeny alpha-mummies here. I'm the only Guardian reader in my village, according to the shopkeeper!

Crime is a worry. As is the DC joining gangs etc. (I know, I know. )

It just seems odd to go from country to city with small children.

I was thinking Fulham?

Depends which village you live in! Are you north, east, south or west?
I live in a Hampshire town and would go rural tomorrow if I could.

I used to work in Fulham. North End Road is decidedly un-Bodeny. A few streets away (near Parson's Green) and they probably turn their noses up at Boden. You would probably meet a lot of people trying to buy a country estate in Hampshire!

On the plus side, your children would have the choice of joining a gang or hanging out with public school types.