to think this isnt acceptable?

[elah10]

I got a text this morning from the mum of one of ds2s classmates to ask could ds2 come over and play today. He was delighted and when I arrived at the house the 8 yr old friend opened the door, so I asked to speak to the mum just to arrange pick up time. He said she was gone to the supermarket, 'umm ok then can I speak to your dad' I said. 'He is in work, its just me and L (the baby sis) here' he said. I decided to wait for the mum to come back as there was no way I was leaving ds2 there with no adult supervision!! About 15 mins later up she flies in the car and I saw she had her other child , a 7yr old, in the front seat, not strapped in and leaning on the dashboard!!!!
Now obviously the car thing is sooo dangerous but I wondered afterwards was I being too OTT in being shocked at the kid left alone with the baby in the house? Its just I would not think an 8 or 9 yr old is mature or responsible enough to mind themselves in the house alone, let alone a baby . My ds1 is nearly 12 and its only this yr I have begun leaving him in the house for a few mins while I nip to the shops , and I would never leave any of his siblings there with him. What do you think?

YADNBU

YANBU

at all

YANBU. Even if one is prepared to leave one's own DCs for a quick nip to the shop at thatage, it's certainly not a good idea in my book to invite anyone else's kid over to play.

I think an 8 or 9 year old is fine on their own for short times (10min? Maybe 20min?). But they shouldn't have responsibility for a baby. I now let my kids stay on their own for about 1 hr (10 year old) and 2 hrs (12 year old) but still wouldn't let them have friends over while I'm not at home.

I wouldn't leave my 8 year old alone yet.

A 9yo fine in house alone for a short length of time.

DD comes home by herself most days now and lets herself in. DS1 joins her soon (different school now). I arrive home about 5 mins later.

If I were running v late I would call and they would go to a neighbour.

BUT I wdn't leave DD or DS1 for that matter with a baby. Or a toddler. Too too hard for the older child IMO.

I think waiting till 12 to leave yr child for a few mins is over-protective. I would also leave an 8yo with him if I were you.

As far as other ppl's DC goes, I take a lead from them. DS1 had a pal over today and they were alone in the house a couple of times. They also went to the park alone. But DS1 does this a lot and I know his friend does too so know the mum is fine with it.

YANBU. An 8 year old is not responsible enough to look after a baby. The child in the car would have made me too. I definately wouldn't invite another child over at the same time as leaving my children alone, no matter how short a time.

YANBU. I would leave my 9 year old in house few minutes, but not with toddler ds. And certainly not invite a friend over!

AFAIK, it's not illegal to leave a child of any age alone in their house. The supervising parent/guardian/carer is responsible for the child and if, say the child is injured because they were left alone, the the person in charge of the child would be in serious trouble.

The closest shop is just 10yds from our house, but I still wouldn't leave DS & DD on their own in the house (they'd wreck it).

YANBU...did you leave your DS with this woman at all?

I don't think YABU in thinking that's wrong at all.

I certainly wouldn't do it, not at 8.

I think the other mum's irresponsible but guess you know that already!!

I leave my 9 yr old ds2 alone for about 30 mins whilst ds1 and I run with the dog.
There is no way on earth I'd leave him with a younger sibling even though he is very sensible and serious.
so YANBU and I wouldn't leave ds2 to play either.

Leaving the 8/9 yo alone-Ok.
leaving them with a baby I wouldn't do.Although realistically if the baby had just gone down for a nap there probably wouldn't be a problem but even so it just wouldn't feel right.

Thanks, I thought I was maybe overreacting a bit, but glad to know I am not. I waited with the kids til the mum came back from the shops and she did look a bit embarrassed. What also worried me was that she didnt bring her phone to the shop with her, so if there had been an accident the child had no way of contacting her.