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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick to death of Facebook boasting

92 replies

nomedoit · 11/09/2010 13:16

First off, if I could get off FB I would! But I'm an expat and all the social arrangements are now made on FB.

I have two friends, both back in Britain, both women and all they bloody do is boast on FB.

'Playing with my iPad...'
'Back from my flying lesson...'
'Day 12 of my Seychelles holiday...'

The Seychelles holiday was the worst! Five posts daily about the personal butler, massages, private beach.

If I was a nice person I would be pleased for their good fortune. And yes, some of this is my stuff - DH and are are both self-employed and the recession and and continues to be really tough. So yes, I am envious in part.

But I also feel when so many people are struggling that it's a bit bloody insensitive

OP posts:
QueeferSutherland · 11/09/2010 14:27

Oh yes SV, I know a couple like that!

Meglet · 11/09/2010 14:37

My friend had wedding countdown in days starting 18 months before the big day Shock. I was quite sad when it finally happened.

My updates are usually random mutterings about what the children have done or what I've had for dinner. I don't have an adult to talk to so I have to socialise on FB and MN.

mrsunreasonable · 11/09/2010 14:53

One of my FB friends is constantly posting about her fabulous husband and fabulous children and fabulous house and fabulous family and her fabulous holiday. It just makes me think it can't possibly all be fabulous all the time everybody gets fucked off by something sometimes so I think it is just to portray the image of the perfect life and if you feel you have to do that I wonder what life is really like behind closed doors!

Lurve · 11/09/2010 14:53

I've got a friend who has actually started up a Facebook account for her baby and posts things like

"I kept my mummy awake with my crying last night, I'm sorry mummy"

and
"I love my mummy and I'm going to be a good girl when mummy takes me to Waitrose."

FFS

TakeLovingChances · 11/09/2010 15:32

OP - I think your thread title just should have omitted the last world.

FB sucks. Fact.

Lurve I am crying inside at how grim the idea of a baby with a FB page is.

Firawla · 11/09/2010 15:37

Lurve that is awful!! but the ones in the OP would not really bother me, seems like fairly typical fb useage for a lot of people. If they are enjoying their holiday and ipad then good for them really, does not make me jealous or annoyed? Also not bothered about fb child bragging kind of status if done in a nice way, if done putting others down then don't like. If the fb updates on yours was something like "i feel so sorry for people without an ipad and stuck @ home while i am playing with my ipad on a tropical beach" then yes its rude but theres is just focused on themselves, yes it may not be interesting to you but maybe some people on their list are interested?

fourpencehalfpenny · 11/09/2010 15:37

Yanbu, hide them.

I don't read them; why they think we're interested in new phones or electrical equipment, or minutiae of what they are having/have had for dinner, dcs are doing... I really fail to understand.

TrillianAstra · 11/09/2010 15:38

You can make it so that particular people's status updates do not show up in your news feed you know.

So you can still contact them (if you want to) but you don't have to see any inane witteing/boasting/whatever it is that they do that you don't like.

genieinabottle · 11/09/2010 15:40

Seems to me that it is what FB is all about.
Boasting, moaning or posting random things about daily life.
Nothing wrong with that imo.
Just hide the posts or get off FB altogether and send text message to your friends and relatives at home.

The FB baby page is a bit Hmm... but i bet some people will read and reply! Grin

Claw3 · 11/09/2010 15:43

Isnt that the whole point of FB, you want everyone to know what you doing and you want to know what everyone else is doing?

Perhaps i just dont 'get' facebook!

Lurve · 11/09/2010 16:03

Yep my friens has gone a bit baby crazy since have her baby. It is just too OTT to create a baby account, but apparently loads do it.

A quick Google search on it I've just done shows even one before being Born Shock

www.lamebook.com/2010/06/16/family-time/

fuschiagroan · 11/09/2010 16:05

I know someone who, when they got a university offer, posted on Facebook 'X got into Cambridge!' and then, er, didn't. Fail.

Hulababy · 11/09/2010 16:12

Ever thought tha it probably isn't bpasting. Just people in "chatting" mode.

I have put stuff about new items, my child doing well, holidays, etc. on FB. It isn't boasting. It is just part of my life.

"But I also feel when so many people are struggling that it's a bit bloody insensitive"

In that case then many people should not post aything at all ever, as there are almost always people worse off or more unfortunate than yourself..

eg No posts about...

new baby/pregnancy - not fair to anyone struggling t concieve, have has problems

new house - not everyone can get one, afford one

new car - as above

anything work related - some people can't get a new job

positive health things - some people are ill or have ongoing needs

holiday related - some people cant afford to go on holiday at all anywhere

See, what I mean? Noone would ever be abl to say anything.

Besides, what is wrong with being happy and positive about one's own life and circumstanes. Darn sight better to see the positive in thing whenever and wherever you can find it.

potplant · 11/09/2010 16:17

YABU - I don't think any of those things are at all boasty. I'm pleased for my friends when things are going well.

Creating a FB account for a baby is weird.

jem44 · 11/09/2010 16:20

You could always post this link on your facebook page for your boastful friends to read....

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1310230/Facebook-users-narcissistic-insecure-low-self-esteem.html

Lotkinsgonecurly · 11/09/2010 17:01

Believe me, if she was having such a wonderful holiday she wouldn't be facebooking so frequently. I think they reek of insecurity etc.

Posting that you've had a wonderful relaxing day with the family just being yourselves and chatting will really annoy some people and be true so that you're family and real friends will be pleased you are contented and happy.

mangoandlime · 11/09/2010 18:03

I have a couple on my FB 'friends' list like this. We actually have a good laugh about them, I mean, how can everything be that wonderful? It's a crock of shit. Insecurity, that's what it is. But that's FB for ya.

Miggsie · 11/09/2010 18:05

Surely Facebook is there to remind us how boring, banal, petty and tiresome other people are?

SeaTrek · 11/09/2010 18:05

YABU to be that bothered.

I used to be that bothered. I have rejoined with a new policy and that is to make full use of the 'hide from news feed' function. It's fab! I also don't bother posted status updates. I am happy to be the 'dull' friend who merely comments on others witty remarks.

ShowOfHands · 11/09/2010 18:12

But they're facts.

The only difference between 'Having a good time in the Seychelles' and 'Having a good time in Bognor' is a few thousand miles. It's only a boast if you allow it to be ie you feel inferior because of it. Which says everything about you and nothing about them.

Thankfully, I'm only friends with people on fb who I genuinely like so am interested in them/pleased for them/care about them.

The facts of their lives are just that.

If your friends on there are truly that short-sighted and vacuous that their updates are designed to create an image purely to impress others, then perhaps you might reconsider their status as 'friend' on there.

snugglejunkie · 11/09/2010 18:14

What showofhands said.

Original poster
nomedoit · 11/09/2010 18:23

Hulababy, it's not the holidays/cars/stuff per se. It's just the tone really. I took DH away for a birthday weekend, it was a big birthday, and posted "we are back from a nice time in x place."

But I wouldn't post, as my friend did, "Currently sipping champagne in the Emirates First Class lounge...' or "Our personal butler has just delivered a fruit platter..." Honestly, it was like that all day. I do like her, she's not a bad person, I don't know why she's does it. It really irritates me!

Just because it's FB doesn't mean you don't have to edit your thoughts or be sensitive - that is my point. Personally, in the unlikely event of my child getting straight A's, I wouldn't post that. It just feels too in your face. But I would post a photo of DC's at a school event or activity.

OP posts:
Original poster
nomedoit · 11/09/2010 18:25

Showofhands - I don't feel inferior, I feel irritated!

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 11/09/2010 18:27

Buy maybe they are sipping a glass of champagne in a first class lounge.

It's only insensitive if you were sipping a glass of champagne in a first class lounge once and your head rolled clean off and you've since had to weld it on with parcel tape and sometimes on a cold day, it chafes. Otherwise it's just a fact.

Look...

I'm having a cup of tea on the sofa.

That's true and something that makes me feel really happy.

I'm having champagne on a yacht.

Now while I personally don't want to go on a yacht or drink fizzy plonk, it's no less factual than my statement.

You sound a tiny bit jealous tbh.

mangoandlime · 11/09/2010 18:27

Completely nobby to be on FB at all when you're on holiday. Bognor, Seychelles or Necker Island. Enjoy your hols and good luck to you! That says an awful lot more about them, I think.