to have hung up on ex husband.

[redderthanred]

because he is a twat.

on the surface we get on ok. But as soon as anything happens that he doesnt like - or wants done differently he turns into the most awkward arse.

He decided i should be the one to divorce him as it will be cheaper. Last year i started the ball rolling, but then ended up really ill, having an operation, losing my job and starting a new one.. then had to get all the paperwork sorted and that took a while.

Basically ive not done anymore and had told him this. He nagged me about making an appt and sorting it our, which i said i would do sometime in sept. I work, have a child and a dog and no outside help and fitting things in can sometimes be difficult, ill need to find a day when someone can have dd and i can get into tow, but ive had 1001 errands and other stuff ive had to sort out which is more important.

so he started going on saying ive had 2 years to sort it out. Well, we havent even been seperated 2 years, then there was all teh hastle last year - which he knows about.

Nagging goes on for about 10 mins with me getting more and more pissed off. I had explained the situation to him, that i would do it as soon as i could. but that if it wasnt fast enough, he could always do it from his end.
I just got sick of him nagging and having a go and trashing my personality that i told him to fuck off and hung up on him.

que a stream of abusive text messages telling me if my life was so hard he would have dd full time and id onlyt have her 2 days everyothter week. ( never going to happen, hes in the army)

hes just a cock.

He's a cock. Stop communicating with him except the essentials. Do you have a solicitor? Can they deal with him rather than you?

I think you know you weren't at all unreasonable... I'd ignore his texts too, if I were you. Just don't reply. Or send one advising him that when he can speak to you with some consideration and respect you will speak with him again but not to bother you otherwise. The only thing with that is that it may make him angrier but you'll know how he's most lkely to react.

Keep copies of the texts (on your pc?) if you can. You never know when this kind of thing will come in handy.

Hope your day improves.

I thought that everyone hung up on exs

its one of the things you can do, cos he is an ex

especially if he is talking rubbish

get a solicitor, then you wont have to speak to him at all, calms the whole situation down.

i did have one. but then i got ill and everything else happened and ive not got one anymore.
So i need to start again.

Thing is, i cant go for the next two week as its really manic at work and im going to be stressed, then im on holiday for a week,and ive got lots of other important stuff booked for then already.

it does need to get sorted - its just a huge chunk of time, that ive not got for the next 3 weeks. Then its the form filling in and paperwork finding ( legal aid) and its just a pain in the bum.

He was just going on saying i should have done it, and i am lazy, and its just like me, and im crap at admin etc etc etc....

and all the things he does to help me out, that im very lucky ( well, its to help his child out) and that he thinks that maybe i just want to stay married to him
yes - because thats why i kicked him out isnt it??

then hes getting cross and shouting at me becuase i hung up on him. When i explained that i was not with him and no longer had to listen to his nagging and ranting he just called me hot headed and slated me ( same as always.. because it me and not him)

I'd ignore him (if you can). He'll just have to wait until you have the time or sort it out himself. Tough! Doesn't matter what he thinks really - not your problem any more

Think you need to do the mental equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and saying "La la la, I'm not listening..."

Unless you have been separated for two years then the only way you can get divorced is on either unreasonable behaviour or adultery, so does he want you to have to find reasons for his behaviour (and put them on the petition)? Also it is only cheaper for him if you issue the petition, it would be cheaper for you if HE issued it (issue fee £345 + £45 for decree nisi to be made absolute).

HTH

Btw YANBU to have hung up on the twat!

but i get legal aid and he doesnt.

think thats why its cheaper if i do it.

its adultery - which he has admitted. when we got that far at the solictiors last time before i got ill.

Well, he'll just have to wait then, won't he?

Tough for him then, tell him to pay himself or wait!

thats what i said. i would do it as soon as i could and that if it wasnt good enough then he could do it.

apparently i was then being awkward and childish and ruining it all as we were getting on well.. and i shoud be greatful for everythign he does and im being a bitch about it and that if i dont listen to him, and cut him short when hes having a go at me, im blowing up in his face and am unreasonable and hot headed and unable to control myself

the fact that i no longer have to listen to his bullying bullshit seems to have passed him by.

Explaining that i had given him the answer to his question and that i had told him i would keep him updated was apparently not good enough.

He sounds like a right knobend!

Just refuse to talk to him about anything but access (get a special mobile if you have to). Your solicitor will be in contact when necessary.

Can you not go back to the one who was dealing with it before? Do try to at least make a preliminary investigation, put aside 1 hour for this, maybe during your holiday week. Getting started on a job can be the hardest bit sometimes. Hopefully it won't be going right back to the start again.