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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in being a bit shocked that one of my dn friends[aged 11, said you have to go to uni if you want a proper job

33 replies

carriedababi · 11/09/2010 00:27

i think it was the term "proper" that shocked me.

on one hand i know alot of people think university is the only way to get anywhere, and maybe for some people it is.

but i was pretty shocked at her attitude.
but i could also kid of understand it too

i think because shes still so young it shocked me more

what would you think if an 11 year old said that?

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 11/09/2010 00:28

I'd ask her what a proper job was. An electrician is a proper job, they don't go to university.

AnnieLobeseder · 11/09/2010 00:30

That the government needs to bring back apprenticeships and colleges. And that more people need to see trades as the very important and 'proper' jobs that they are.

Because, sadly, the child was right. Just about the only place you can get a tertiary education these days is Uni. And to get a decent career with good long-term prospects, 9 times out of 10 you need tertiary education.

gtamom · 11/09/2010 00:31

I'd think her parents are encouraging her to attend university.

marenmj · 11/09/2010 00:37

The US is this way. I was told from about 7 y.o. on that the only way to be successful was go to a good uni and the only way to go to a good uni was to get good grades from forever. It's a lot of pressure for a child and I always respected that the UK seemed to have apprentices and trades that were skilled, acceptable career paths for those who wanted to do something besides uni.

I will be quite sad if this is taking hold there.

Original poster
carriedababi · 11/09/2010 00:40

i think she was trying to put my dn down a bit, as my lovely dn want to be a florist.

also i think she's been a quite hot housed by her parents.

it just seemed really sad and narrowminded, but then perhaps thats the reality on the whole

OP posts:
TonariNoTotoro · 11/09/2010 00:43

Maybe she doesn't see being a cashier/electrician/postie/etc as a 'proper job' I know I didn't at 11.

I am, thankfully, not an idiot adult and appreciate that they are obviously proper jobs.
The fact remains that there is always going to be a cap on earnings on that kind of job and if she can go to Uni and do a vocation degree, what's the problem?

There's nothing wrong with having aspirations!

AnyFuleKno · 11/09/2010 00:43

why be shocked? she's 11...it's not an attitude, she's just learning about the world.

bruffin · 11/09/2010 00:45

Unfortunately you need to go to have a degree for many jobs that you didn't have to.

DH started his apprenticeship when he was just 15 and became a professional electronics engineer. He has colleagues who came through a similar route with many many years of experience and have applied for jobs they have all the right experience for and been told they won't be considered because they don't have a degree.

Original poster
carriedababi · 11/09/2010 00:52

perhaps because it seemed like she was saying what dn wants to do, is not good enough.
and her age.

OP posts:
narkypuffin · 11/09/2010 00:54

From floristry website

Qualifications available include:

?City & Guilds Certificate in Land-based Studies (Floristry option) - level 1, covers basic practical skills
?City & Guilds Level 1 and 2 Certificates in Design and Craft (flower arranging option) - concentrate on craft skills and flower design rather than commercial aspects
?City & Guilds/NPTC Level 2 National Certificate in Floristry (Professional Floristry) - covers practical floristry skills
?EDEXCEL Level 2 BTEC First Diploma in Floristry - covers basic knowledge and practical skills
?City & Guilds/NPTC Level 3 Advanced National Certificate in Floristry (Professional Floristry) - covers intermediate knowledge and skills
?EDEXCEL Level 3 BTEC National Award in Floristry (Design) or Floristry (Business)
?EDEXCEL Level 3 BTEC National Certificate/Diploma in Floristry

So she might be right!

Mniemmniem · 11/09/2010 00:56

I bet her mum and dad have drummed it into her - try hard on sats so you can go to uni and get a proper job etc etc.
It is a bit much at her age but alot of parents try to steer their kids towards doctor/lawyer type of things. I don't think it's necessarily wrong per se, but the last 10 years have been all about cramming ppl into uni so she's grown up with it iyswim?

blueshoes · 11/09/2010 01:06

Her parents are probably in professional-type jobs. I would say you need to go to a 'proper' uni and do 'proper' courses to get a 'proper' job.

Manda25 · 11/09/2010 08:22

My 7 yr old would properly say something like that. His 19 yr old brother is off to Uni in 2 weeks so it is pretty normal to him. Not sure he would say 'proper' though - i think he just thinks you go to school, college then to Uni - because that's the way it is.

proudnglad · 11/09/2010 08:47

Yes but I would be embarrassed if my dc said that, it sounds very snooty and unwordly.

I'd explain that there are many, many 'proper' (!) jobs out there that don't require a degree.

Although I have degrees coming out of my arse (not literally you understand) I am not ramming higher ed down my dc's necks as I don't think it's the be all and end all and you can still have a great career without.

prozacfairy · 11/09/2010 09:15

She's a child. What is the big deal? Her mum and dad have probably told her that's how things are done: School, Uni, "Proper Job".

bumpsoon · 11/09/2010 09:24

I have to chuckle at 'cap on earnings' at an electrician ,most of the ones i know are well and truly loaded , infact one locally left his 'proper' job he got after going to uni and re-trained as a sparky and now owns his own company and employs about 10 other people !

RumourOfAHurricane · 11/09/2010 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
carriedababi · 11/09/2010 11:26

i think its a bit narrow minded to thunk it the ONLY way to go.

and i felt a bit sorry for her, like she was being pushed alot by her parents at such a young age

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 11/09/2010 11:33

when my ds1 was studying his A levels i would have said the same thing to him, as i was pushing him to go to university

He got offered a place a 3 Uni's, then he sat me down and told me it wasnt what he wanted to do, and would only be doing it for me and it wouldnt make him happy Sad, he said really wanted to do an apprenticeship and he wasnt going to go to Uni

i realised i couldnt push and had to support him whatever he decided, he is now in his 3rd year of an apprenticeship and will have a 'proper' job by the end of it

i am very proud of him

JaneS · 11/09/2010 11:35

Ask her what's not 'proper' about the money a plumber gets, then! Or indeed our own dear Lord Sugar.

hairytriangle · 11/09/2010 11:36

YANBU. If I heard an eleven year old say that I'd tell him/her that yes, it's best to get the best education you can, earlier in life. But that it doesn't guarantee a good job, and that it is possible to get a good job without an uni degree.

I'd then tell them the story of my 'career' I have gone from minimum wage secretarial work to Chief Executive on really good salary, over the twenty years I have worked.

I dont think a degree would have changed that or made it happen sooner, and I am also blessed to love the field I work in.

hairytriangle · 11/09/2010 11:37

'a' uni degree, not 'an' uni degree (my typo is not a reflection of a second class education Grin )

VinegarTits · 11/09/2010 11:39

and a friend of mine has a degree in French, he works as a postman, is that not a proper job?

i do think it is wrong for parents to tell their dc that Uni = proper job

ValiumSingleton · 11/09/2010 11:48

I tell my daughter this all the time. I don't want her to end up like me.

I don't necessarily mean university though. I mean third level of some description and I've nothing against a course chosen because it will lead to a job. I want her to have a plan. And actually, if I'm honest I want her to prioritise making MONEY over being carefree or something, for a decade and a half. I just don't want her to end up like me, single mother without a pot to piss in. I'll do my best, but a proper job would be good.

PS, even if you have a degree and work as a postman, I think it just makes it easier to hold your own in 'educated company' if such a term exists. I know I give the impression of having been to university but I've seen respect or 'affinity' perhaps, dribble out of people's faces when they realise that NOPE, I didn't go to university and haven't got a qualification or a pot to piss in.

am I feeling a bit low this mornign ....Sad

VinegarTits · 11/09/2010 11:53

ive been to University and i still cant hold my own in educated company