to ask for a change in seating at a work dinner?

[massivenamechange]

the buggers keep putting me next to a particularly Very Rich Very Influential Very Important benefactor to be nice to him. It's the 8th time in a bloody row.

The man is a lecherous old queen who is totally incapable of being polite to women. He has twice tried to get off with my DP in front of me. The first time he asked for our home number, which I thought was a bit -erm - forward, so I gave him my email address. He twigged that it wasn't my DP's, so he gave it back to me and said with a leer "i think you know I don't really want YOUR number, do I. Now give me the right number".

The next time he kept addressing my DP as my "cousin" and asking him whether he'd like to go to a house party on the weekend as his guest.

Even if he hadn't been this blatantly rude to me, just on this matter (though he has been rude many times about all sorts of things) - he's a lecherous old fool - always requests to be put next to some nice young men and comments loudly to the whole table about how he's losing his touch when the nice young men leave in revulsion before dinner is over.

Can I really say to my bosses "please don't make me the workplace ambassador to the bloomsbury gay scene circa 1935 any more"?

Yes

is that yes IBU or yes I can shriek "get me out of here NOW"?

Yes you can shriek, I am as straight as a die, as is DP now get me out of here.

it's not the bloomsbury gay mafia element that I find revolting - it's the outright sleaziness. Any man who did that to women would've been kicked somewhereorother long ago by a woman, in our workplace. With the remnants of the aristocracy though, we're all far too embarrassed ... or calculating

I think it may also be the fact that he's gay that stops people being as honest about his behaviour. If it was me, I'd point out to whoever arranges the seating that you've had to put up with him 8 times in a row, and that makes it someone else's turn.

Oh I think it's mostly the fact he has squillions and is planning to donate them to us (my workplace) when he dies, that people aren't being honest about his behaviour.

Indeed it's the only reason I haven't yet kicked him somewhereorother... and am wondering if i can ask for a seating change..

(not sure whether to be ashamed or just wryly amused)

Do you have to take DH? He'll probably ignore you.

depressingly in this context, it's a badge of honour for my workplace that it invites spouses, since none of the comparable institutions do. DP thinks it's lovely he gets invited, and is too naive by an incredibly long way to understand why this revolting old letch is being nice to him....

(groan)

Crikey - can't you a have a rota. Sounds like you have done more than your fair share of putting up with him.

Hmm. I think the colleague doing the seating plan is just pleased to have found someoone who will apparently tolerate him.

i think by posting on here about it I was really hoping someone would come along with something funny and outrageous that would at least give me something to snigger at privately during dinner tonight...

You've done your time. Is it just a habit or are you (and dp) being offered up as the sacrificial lamb?

Dh had a boss v similar, can remember listening to a tale of one of his sexual encounters that was just vile, amazed that given the context he still had a career or not splashed across a tabloid newspaper. Was bloody cross with dh for not warning me.

I agree re tabloids/ careers, can think of a few like that (and a few where the tabloids have destroyed lives, with very much less material to go on, so wouldn't really wish the tabloids on anyone).

I really don't understand why these people think it's acceptable to be like that. It seems to be strongly related to their sense of entitlement. All very screwed up. Academia has turned on its head - most people I know are falling over themselves to seem humble and nice these days... whereas the old brigade... errrrr... aren't really