Pathetically, I am actually going to act on this, so please contribute your view for me

[Greensleeves]

I just can't decide any other way, I am too discombobulated

ds1 (who is nearly 8 and has AS) has a parent/child activity session at school today, at 3pm (so I haven't got long to decide)

he is quite excited about it and wrote a beautiful illustrated note inviting me and dh to it

I was planning to go but came home from work with a thumping headache and really dont feel like it

dh has said that he will go if I don't feel up to it, he thinks ds won't care which of us goes and he doesn't mind going

I said maybe we could both go, at least then I wouldn't have to carry it by myself (ds1 is adorable but very full-on, and I have been quite depressed and socially shit lately)

dh said no to that because he thinks we would look ridiculous both turning up and he would end up sitting doing nothing

so I have to decide which of us is going

It's not that I think dh i going is less good than me going, at all - it's just that dh has done the morning school run the past two mornings as I have been below par (not sleeping well, huge coldsores, headache etc)

so I feel like a useless parent anyway

so should I go, or tell dh to go?

you aren't well, your dh is there and is happy to go, and you are happy for him to go, and ds1 will be too.

dh goes.

take some tablets and try and have a bit of quiet time.

hope you feel better soon.

You are not useless, you are poorly. Send DH, he and your son will have a lovely time.

Send your DH. You don't sound at all well and it sounds as if your DS won't mind. Could you have a nap to try to sleep your headache off?

Take some painkillers and let DH go.

let DH go!

Get your DH to go BUT on the condition that while he is out call your GP and make an appointment, if you haven't already, to discuss the depression. Depression is what this is really about I suspect?

Send DH, he's happy to go and you feel rubbish, it's a no-brainer.
If it makes you feel better I have been off work all week, DH hasn't and he's done the school run everyday.
There's worse than you!

I would send your dh to go.

Sounds like you are run down and coming down with a bug, better that you give yourself a bit of time to have a nap and recuperate.

It's only two days. It's not like he has been doing this for years and you've been ignoring your ds for years. There will be plenty more days when your dh feels run down and you do things for him.

In no shape or form does it make you a useless parent.

If dh happy to go then let him, go home take it easy and enjoy the peace - do NOT feel guilty at taking some you time. Hope feel better soon.

agree that if your dh is happy to go, you are not feeling up to it, and ds won't mind, then it's a no-brainer, dh goes.

Don't beat yourself up over not feeling well enough for it - that's life. And a good rest this afternoon means you will (hopefully) be up for hearing all about it when dh and ds get back home (in full-on enthusiastic manner! - dd1 is ASD, btw, so I know all too well how full-on full on can be! )

dh goes, you have a rest and recuperate.

be kind to yourself, and go to bed and tell dh to explain to ds that mummy hopes you have a great time, but she is a bit tired.

and do go to bed. and do be kinder to yourself xx

Greensleeves - you are unwell. Let your DH go for you, you daft apeth, and sit at home and watch Judge Judy.

I am sure you have done a million things for your DH when he has been under the weather.

You sound run down and poorly. Let dh go and take the opportunity to had a bit of quiet time!

Hope you feel better soon x

Send DH.

Grresleeves you didn't go did you?

if a doctor said "you've got a broken leg, take it easy for a while" would you ignore them?

you have a broken head atm, your brain is not functioning and producing enough of the correct hormones to make you feel "alright". Don't think of depression as a weakness. It is an illness... an organ is broken, much like a broken leg.

so unless you perked up, I hope you didn't force yourself to go