To want DS in nursery?

[soupsmum]

I have just returned to work after being off almost two years. Ds who is 17 months is cared for by his gran while I am at work Mon-Fri 12pm-5pm. She also has him overnight on a Sat.

I applied for him to have two or three afternoons a week at nursery which MIL and DH disagree to.
Today I get a call from the nursery offering Tue Wed and Fri afternoons to start asap, I call DH and he is really upset that I'm thinking of going through with this.

His mother is retired though fit to look after DS, i just feel he is there more than he is at home with us.

Would you have your DS at nursery when you have MIL to look after him?

i would always chose nursery,structured,fun,lots of wee pals

I'm not really sure about the argument that children are better at nursery. As far as I know most of the evidence out there is that what young children most need is a parent-like figure in a home-like environment. They don't really need little friends at that age. Obviously children who are sent to nursery adapt and enjoy it, but I don't think that's the same as saying it's good for them.

I don't really get the problem with your ds being with mil more than at home? It seems the problem that not just he is away from home so long, but that he's with his Grandma for that time. If he forms a special bond with his grandma then that can only be a good thing, surely?

A mixture of both works well IME.

FWIW my mum was very worried when I decided to put DS in nursery for one morning a week. 2 years on she hasn't stopped raving about nursery and how good they are. She still helps out a lot though.

I'm a SAHM and we've just started DS off at nursery 2 mornings a week this week. It's hard because he's not used to being in a strange environment without us and there are always tears when DH drops off and when I pick up, but he's great once he's in there and they have a great time.

As long as the staff are really nice, which I reckon is the most important bit, then it's a good thing for them.

YANBU at all- you're doing this for your son who will benefit alot from nursery.

Your MIL will still be spending alot of time with her GC, alot more than other GP see theirs.

I think two afternoons is probably ok, with a view to seeing how it goes? My only reservation is that 17 months seems a bit of an arkward age for it, better a fair bit younger or approaching 3, but that's just my opinion and all kids are different.

17 month olds just seem to be at an age where they have a short attention span and are particuarly prone to snatching/hitting/annoying other children rather than benefiting from socialising. A bit older and they are more sensible about it all and get more out of it.

Of course it's okay to use a nursery even though you have a MIL on tap. It's absolutely outrageous to suggest otherwise.

My MIL desparately wants to look after DD while I work, but there are reasons we haven't gone down this route:

1. She's 10 miles completely out of the way from where either of us work. Nursery is one mile away.
2. One sniffle and she declares herself ill for a week. If she was our primary childcare, in the two years since I returned to work I would have had months and months off work due to no childcare.
3. She has a dog she insists on walking six times a day.
4. Everything we do with DD is wrong: if MIL was looking after her she would be obese and all her teeth would have fallen out.
5. She's arthritic and can#t chase after DD.
6. She doesn't believe in carseats.
7. She's so very afraid of DD hurting herself that DD is held going down the baby slide in the park. She's nearly 3.

The list goes on!

And actually, children that age DO appreciate other little people around them. There's no TV at nursery, they get goos food, there's a fab outdoor play area, she was potty trained within a week (influence of others, she watched and learned).

Sorry, if my DH moaned at me for wanting to use a nursery place there would be trouble.

Tahnks for all your posts. I strongly agree with the comments that nursery is the best option. Tho i have decided to compromise with my Dh and hold off nursery for 6mnth.