So Sick of My Kid's Friends

[JJ17]

My DS1 is 19 and about to go off to Uni. I will miss him but not his friends! They are nice boys but I am sick of having them at my house every single day.

I am not going to do anything about it at this stage as DS1 is about to go but it has been going on for a long time.

I have said to DS1 "share the joy, go to their houses sometimes". He won't though because 1 of them's house is too dirty (this is true, they had an exchange student who cried over the filth and got moved) and the other one's Dad is very gruff and the house is boring, he says.

I like them but am sick fed up of "houseguests" all the time. Sometimes I want to put my nightie on at 6pm and don't feel that I can, because we have "guests". I put a stop to feeding them - or DS1 sharing his dinner with them - because I can't afford it.

I just think - bugger off home!

My DS are slightly younger, but our house, too, is the venue of choice for their friends.

I don't really think of the boys as houseguests - I'd put my jammies (and a dressing gown) on if I felt like it. I just treat them as if they were part of the family.

I do feed them, but usually pasta etc, because they do eat a lot, but in return, I expect them to pack the dishwasher or tidy up the kitchen, just as my own DS do.

At least if they're in your house, you know where they are. And the end is in sight. And I bet you do miss your DS's friends a wee bit, when your DS goes to uni.

I clicked on this thread thinking I can totally sympathise - and my ds is only 4! They're noisy, messy, constantly hungry and can't be left alone together for 30 seconds. I'm glad he has friends who live so close but there are days I just want to lock myself away upstairs and not have to put up with them!

YANBU and I don't think you are alone OP. Thats probably why there are hoards of the buggers temporarily homeless teens outside my house EVERY night causing mayhem.

So I will say a big thankyou to agent and jj17 so keeping the streets slightly quieter.

My house is a magnet too. They tend to hang around his bedroom or the summerhouse. They eat me out of house and home and I do tend to get fed up of finding their clothing around the house.

Likewise though, I know where he is and what they are generally up to.

You'll miss them when they're gone....i love having young'un's(?)around,and it doesn't last forever..if DS1 is sharing his dinner then it's no cost to you...i should feel flattered that they like us enough to want to hang out here.....by chance DH and i bumped into DS1's best pal at the Dorset Steam Fair this year...he was sooo thrilled to see us and spent the whole evening with us....lovely

Well I would have much rather that DD2 bought her friends to our house than wonder what time she was going to come in. It's not that she nevr brought frinds homeshe did but more often then not she would go out to thier houses than on to a night club and wouldn't be home until at least 2 am. She is now 20 and at uni and she didn't start doing the nigthclub thing until she was 18,

Have you tried saying "Bugger off home?". Its your house, set some house rules...

Perhaps if you do put your nightie on at 6pm when they are round DS might decide that his friends' houses are not so bad after all???

For various reasons, as a teenager I spent as little time at home as possible and there was no way I could have friends round. I spent a lot of time at my best mate's house as did several other friends. It must have been a PITA for her mum but I'm eternally grateful to her for providing the only place that felt like home throughout my teens.

Your DS is so lucky that you've brought him up in a home he and his friends want to spend time with. I'm sure it's been a pain for you but you should give yourself a huge pat on the back and breathe a sigh of relief that it's nearly over (except for Christmas, Easter, summer, and then all the time from graduation til he's 35 cos he can't afford to get a mortgage....

I think it's lovely they want to be at your house - better than your own children wanting to be somewhere else!

Why don't you tell them that they're welcome to buy food to cook at your house but that you can't afford to feed them all. They'll understand and will probably enjoy going out to buy stuff to cook.

You're lucky - keep saying it!