to get annoyed when work callers shout "How dare you?! I pay your wages!" when I have to tell them something they don't want to hear?

[taintedpaint]

Or should I be expecting abuse simply because I work in the public sector?

I get this several times a week. I work in a local government related office and boy, do the callers like to remind me that my wages come out of taxes. But does that mean I just have to accept abuse as a given? All it takes is for me to say (for example) that they can't have an appointment at my office at the time of their choosing (not because I like to power trip, but because there are no appointments available at the requested time) for them to get shirty with me and if I dare to say something back (not abusive, just to point out I won't be able to help them if they keep shouting and swearing at me), I'll get the "I pay your wages!" line thrown at me.

A colleague of mine says we should just expect this treatment. Maybe I'm just old before my time, but what happened to courtesy and manners?

AIBU? Should I be abused at work day in day out?

The idea that something is offensive if the recipient finds it offensive is utterly barking mad.

What if I suddenly decide to find sunflowers and rainbows offensive? Do they then actually become offensive?

It is easy to take offence at anything. That doesn't make the provocation offensive.

And in any case, offensive isn't abusive. I think people are perfectly entitled to be offensive, though it isn't nice.

For example, if I think you are doing a bad job, aren't handling my call well, etc, and tell you so, you will probably take offence. That doesn't make what I say offensive, or abusive.

Yanbu.

When I was a student I worked as a bank cashier. I got this amongst some other shit once from a twat man so I paused, looked up his balance and said loudly "your account is overdrawn by £47 so you're not paying my wages or anybody else's. Now are you going to show some manners or are you going to bank somewhere else?"

Ah those were the days Although I won't work with the general public. I just don't have the patience.

Longfingernail - Do you NOT think the OP is reasonable to get annoyed when she is shouted at? Especially is it is done to express a misplaced sense of entitlement?

I really don't take offence easy and often on the AIBU I think yes you are Next!!

But sometimes the general public are quite mad, scary and offensive when they don't get there own way. The 'I pay your wages' line is only tip of the iceberg.

I've been called a big fat cunt and got spat in my face because I refused to let a drunk man into the communiy whose final retort was ' I pay your fuckin wages slag!'

Yeah just a normal day in the office Longfingernails! Im soooo touchy!

Sorry that was meant to read 'Community Centre'

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Angry shouting on the phone is very annoying, but again, customer anger isn't necessarily customer abuse. The misplaced sense of entitlement is neither here nor there. Yes, of course many people are idiots. That is irrelevant.

upahill Again, being called all those other things is clear abuse. No-one should be sworn at, called a slag, and certainly not spat at. You should call the police if people spit at you - they won't do anything, but at least they will know.

That doesn't negate my point: by itself, "I pay your wages" isn't remotely abusive.

Longfingernails - Are you then saying she SHOULD expect abuse because she works in the public sector?

No

The thing is I have never had the "I pay your wages" line. IME it has always been a preamble to some insult or abuse. The abusers I have come across use it as justification for the abuse they mete out as if it infers some god given right to abuse myself and my colleagues. So my heart sinks whenever I hear it, Furthermore it is the tone of voice used that can make it abuse rather than the words used themselves. Unfortunately the tone used cannot be conveyed via typed words.

Tbh I do expect abuse going to work. I actually now view it as going to be abused rather than going to work. Being part time partially preserves my sanity on that one but I am out of there the minute I can find something else even though it means giving up on all the training I have done. There is only so much one human being can take.

that should read never had the "I pay your wages" line on its own.

longfingernails - if someone spits at you the police will most certainly do something about it if you request it. It is common assault - not always immediately an arrestable offence - but in cases where our staff have been spat at - the offender is always taken to court where possible

Telephone abuse is an offence under the 1984 telecommunications act - so you could always quote that at them. The act covers everything from heavy breathing to abusive language.
If they are raising their voice, hectoring and shouting then that surely constitutes abuse/aggression even if they are not swearing or using insulting language.
Just because it's over the phone does not make it any more acceptable than if it was face to face.

Longfingernails - So in that case I guess you think the op is NBU ;)

xstich, you're exactly right, you never get that line alone and the tone and intent with it (to mark you as an acceptable target for abuse because you work in the public sector) does, IMO, make it indirectly abusive if it was delivered alone.

Thanks everyone for this discussion, I feel a bit better now :).

I'm public sector. sw. Used to work in children's home with kids put in home voluntary by families. Same families who would swear down the phone at us if we dared to attempt discipline such as delay pocket money. I got attacked by a parent and sister of a boy aged 15 who was missing night after night sniffing glue. Because I didn't give him money to go and buy the glue. Mother told boy I was a cunt when he stuck up for me cos I used to sit with him for hrs when he was messed up from solvent abuse. Families told us often they paid our wages. even when they on benefits! !!!!

I also work in the public sector. I don't remember having the "I pay your wages" line but I've had irrationally angry people to deal with.

I deal with it by trying to remember that, usually, the person on the other end is trying (badly) to get the service they think (perhaps wrongly) they are entitled to. They don't have the luxury of choosing to go elsewhere for the service, or of paying extra to get what they want when they want. Their choice is "like it or lump it". I hold the balance of power (so, at least, it will seem to them) and that can make people crazy. Retaliation, in the form of witty putdowns or responding in kind is hardly going to help matters and would be unprofessional.

longfingernails is right. "I pay your wages" on its own is not an abusive thing to say. It is rude, of course, and might be a sign of anger rather than malice. And, of course, real abuse you don't have to tolerate.

I would go along with the suggestion that someone else made about seeking training to help you to deal as well as you can with the calls you have to deal with. If I've had a particularly difficult call, I'll take a break, vent about it to colleagues and try to reflect on what, if anything, I could have done differently to manage the conversation better.

I just used to point out that they didn't actually pay me enough to listen to that kind of stuff, so they could calm down or not be dealt with.

Another one here !! - however i have never had that line ... but we do get sworn/shouted at at least 10 times a day ..and if we are really lucky we can brake up a fight (and get hit in the process) or be hit ourselves !

Its bad manners, but you also need to look at why the customer is irate in the first place.

Did your organisation mess up?

My experience in dealing with some public sector organisations has been pretty woeful. That doesnt excuse rudeness on the phone though.

And of course, some people are just nasty with an overbearing sense of entitlement. They will be rude whatever happens.

i worked in the private sector and i still got that line. i acually refusd to serve a customer once because of it but he had swore at me aswell.

You're a Civil Servant; the word servant is in your title. Therefore you're a money-grabbing, expenses-claiming, gold-plated pension-hogging, time-wasting parasite and don't you forget it.

It's a ludicrous assertion in the first place really. Everyone pays everone's wages, ultimately.

I am a Civil Servant. I once nearly transferred from the department I'm in to the Benefits Agency. Had an interview there, saw the payment office and backed out straight away on seeing people kicking off and trying to attack staff. (Trying, because the staff were behind some big defensive screens.)

No way was I putting myself there. Luckily the post I'm in has a small specialised customer base, and polite callers.

I've always thought of this as a really ignorant thing to say, especially as it is always used as some sort of justification to beat the public sector with. But when you think about it, if I phone a private sector company that I have dealings with chances are it is because I am a customer of some sort...therefore in some way giving them money...which pays the employees' wages...

Never hear it used in that context though do you!