to think my 'best friend' doesn't really like me that much?

[charisblakeley]

This is really bringing me down at the moment. A very close friend of mine is (amongst other things) sabotaging any other friendship I tentatively make at the school gates by (as soon as she notices)suddenly being their best friend, making a great fuss of their children, inviting them to things(excluding me - very politely but engineered to show who's boss) I know it sounds petty but it feels like crap. I am pretty shy generally and it has put me off talking to people knowing the outcome,I really need a backbone! This friend is generally very passive aggressive and demanding but very lovely in front of others How do I handle this?

ignore and continue to make friends.

:( you need to distance yourself from this person

Or ask her if she has a problem with you talking to other mums and when she says no, ask her why she does what she does.

Yes ignore
she's clearly not a good friend

I really really would like to but all our children(two each) are in same classes at same school plus all our friends are connected (wonder how that happened)

it might sound paranoid tbh to ahve ti out with the other mum.

I would never dare to confront as in the past I have said stuff, she turns it around to me being jealous of her ability to make friends and she is just being friendly(jealous is her stock answer for anybody against her!) oh what a pickle this sounds so silly written down! ThankU for replies :)

rotten she is so horrid.cut her off if she is so nasty

move schools?

you will waste years being her doormat

take it from me xxxx

AnxiousLand- Have thought of that! but really trying to put kids first not my feelings(hard) Sugarmouse-think you have hit the nail on the head, sad really as she has no reason to be Cereal- I would defo be worried about sounding paranoid but I know deep down I ain't. eveyone else thankyou for replies made me feel heaps better. Thanks ladies xx

charis she is an insecure control freak. You have to forget her behavior as you can't change it, and focus on your own.

Invite other mum's to meet up in the park or their children round for tea, and if she cuts in, stand your ground. How on earth is she going to univite someone to your house without making herself look petty and spiteful? Answer: she can't.

Good luck

given she picks folk up and equally drops.suspect you may not be alone in feeling sick of her.others mums probably had it with it mind games

Arrive earlier than her - get your number / playdate cards printed up and do some 'marketing' and arrange playdates yourself. Get all the other mums' contact details.

Always be super busy when she arrives and beetle off as quick as you can.

Arrange to meet other mums for coffee etc if you have the time.

Enjoy meeting new friends!!

Get other mothers phone numbers, then phone to arrange meetings at your leisure.

She doesn't sound a friend at all if she is excluding you from things,I'd try to steer well clear.

Really good advice- ThankU all xoxox

hope things take turn for the better.best wishes

Take heart - if you have already noticed her flakey behaviour, so will others given a little bit of time. Play the long game....

Ride it out. Shes sorry and a little desperate and others will soon notice how she treats you in company. Before long they will be cutting HER out to speak to you.

dont change schools.too radical.unfortunately in life saome folk are rotten,you got to learn to deal with it sometime.wont always be able to change school etc.,but tbh others will soon clock her offensive behaviour

I wouldn't be brave enough to confront (am a wuss) but I would do what zazen suggested and get there early, swap numbers or arrange a play date and quickly change the subject before she gets anywhere near.

She sounds like a girl in my playground, she is disliked by so many people now and no one has anything to do with her. What goes around comes around...