to think that those of you of have abundant cushions on your bed are just as bad as the loons who have teddy bears on theirs?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

A friend (rather DP's workmate's girflfriend) just moved into a new house. She is a lovely girl, went round their house with some lilys to nose have a look.

She has about 6 great big cushions on her bed all nicely arranged. And one of those strips of material like a scarf at the bottom.

I made all the right noises but then said 'what do you do when you go to bed, do you just throw 'em on the floor?'

She looked at me as if I was old man Steptoe and said 'no we put them in the ottoman'. And by the window is a blanket box in which she puts the cushions at night, and then puts them back on the bed in the morning.

That's MAD isn't it?

Mind you, she is only 24. Surely a bit of real life will knock that madness out of her.

Ooh Dirty Matini, I like you. I was just thinking the same myself this afternoon, though not specifically pottery - that might be a bit too anoraky, and now I have shown my best hand I wouldn't have much else to contribute in the pottery department.

But a thread or a regular section in either clubs, or Property for lovely vintage collectables and junk priceless smug Ebay and boot fair finds would be a jolly fine thing. And we could all show ourselves photos of groovy home porn and everything. It would make me a very happy girl.

Did I mention my Herbert Terry Lamp?

Let's do it! Am on iPod in bed feeding precariously snoozing baby so will not attempt new thread right this moment but am making mental note - or you can start it, if you feel like it and get round to it first :)

Yeah, but my bed looks lovely! My fabric strip is actually a thin quilt that I made my mum specially make for me so it is practical also. DP knows he has to 'respect the cushions' or there is trouble.

I find the taking off of the cushions and then the arranging when I make the bed very therapuetic and I never begrudge the task no matter how busy I am. I also enjoy trawling sales for very high thread count bedding thats normally outside my budget.

I know it sounds mad but it makes me so happy and secure feeling to have a glamorous and comfortable bed. I have been known, when settling upon a particularly pleasing bedding/cushion combo, to photograph the bed and email this to my like minded friend (who will respond with opinion/praise). I don't have any other wierd decorating fetishes, honestly, this is my one house related madness.

Hah. I have cushions and a throw bedspread thingy on my bed (no towel pyramid or big letters in the house though).

I love them. DH hates them. We do throw them on the floor at night and I throw them back most mornings.

The cat fur thing does work - in fact the cat once peed on the throw / bedspread thingy and it ABSORBED ALL THE WEE so what appeared to be a useless and slightly lower middle class accessory turned out to save us having to take the duvet to the dry cleaners.

And what a great excuse to buy another one - in a colour that matched the cushions.

We have decorative cushions...but they tend to get chucked on the floor at night!

Fellatio - ooh yes that would be good.

Oh dear, I forgot to mention the somewhat poncetastic pile of Homes and Antiques mags that are also a feature of my home decor

Does anyone remember the nightdress case made from the real stuffed spaniel that someone found on Ebay. It was french and in the picture was sitting perkily on someone's bed with its tongue hanging out. It was a long, long time ago but certainly a highlight of my Mumsnet existence.

SIGH...

I have special enormous stiff-backed scrapbooks with clear plastic wallets, and A3 pieces of white card. These are for my poncestastic Homes and Garden clippings (of the inspirational photograph variety obviously, not grass and hedge clippings.)

When my magazines get to about three months old and/or the pile is a fire hazard, (whichever is soonest) I go through them all cutting out lovely bits and spending entire Sundays sticking them all in my speshal books. I've nearly finished volume III now. They are interiors porn of the highest order, let me tell you.

This practice bemuses/irritates my DH no end.

MiL has a large bowl of wooden fruit in her kitchen, painted to look real, very real. In fact so real she would be better to probably have real fruit.

But perhaps she doesn't like the fibre as it gets in the way of the big stick up her arse?

See my MiL embraces the full set of M&S matching curtains, curtain tie-backs, wall paper, lampshade, duvet covers, valance etc. all in a pattern of pink rambling roses.

To be fair to M&S I think she bought this stuff in the 80s.

My mil has exactly the same in the guest room. Everywhere you look you see the same pattern dancing before your eyes.

My name is Queffer, and I have a "keep calm..." poster.

In my defence, I got it 3 years ago, before they reached saturation point. And I have a "shut up and deal with it" picture to replace it.

I use my bed cushions for bfing.

I have an antique silk tapestry bed runner, but I'm too scared to put it on the bed. It would be covered in sick or semen within hours.

I used to have a sex-ottoman too. DH misses it.

And who said ottomans were useless?

LOOK at you lot hijacking my thread with your House Beautiful fantasies.

I thought of LeQueen the other day when I was in Waitrose and saw a punnet/carton/whatever of wooden eggs. Why?

I was wondering when you'd come back. I thought we'd driven you away permanently - screaming into the hills.

What's your house like then Getorf? Wall to wall concrete paving slabs, with the odd lino square for comfort, a padded cell, no pictures, no curtains? Bare lightbulbs with a single wooden chair beneath them?

It is actually Fellatio. Very minimal.

I don't do cushions or fabric. There is not a curtain or carpet in the house.

Wooden floors (parquet, not laminate, I am not council ), white walls, black plain fabric sofa. Plain shelves with books the only ornamentation. 2 lamps. No blind on the windows (they are nice windows, don't want to cover them in curtains or blinds). A great big african necklace on the wall is the only ornamentation.

Kitchen, white cupbaords, really nice industrial sink. 3 painting. NO clutter or anything at all on the sides, apart from teh kettle (I used to put that in teh cupboard after use but DP nearly left me).

Bedroom - white sheets. Steel bedside table. White walls. Nothing else in room apart from shelf of books and mirror. I would actually like black lino on the floor but again DP thinks I am nuts so therefore have got floorboards.

No clutter anywhere. Loads of cupboards in which things are hurled stored.

Think you could say I have a very plain aesthetic

I would actually like plain lightbulbs around the house. I really like the design of lightbulbs and have no idea why we cover them in shades. We have got dichroic lights in the kitchen but I think they look mad in the rest of the house. I would like bare bulbs everywhere but DP loathes my lunatic asylum interrogation room look (his words) and so we have plain glass lampshades.

DD's room is BRIGHT BLOODY PINK and she has shaggy cushions and shit everywhere. She has let me down.

I think you and LeQ would cry if you saw my gaff, and start donating tapestry cushion kits or whatever.

No, I wouldn't at all actually. I am a minimalist at heart, and I'm not big on ornaments or clutter at all, or curtains, but I have to have some out of necessity - my house is like an arctic igloo otherwise.

My kitchen is cluttered but that's because I'm an obsessive buyer of kitchen equipment. Everyehere else is rather pared down, albeit in a country house stylee. I'll see if I can put some pics of my previous (very modern) house on my profile so you beleive me!

I think I must be confusing you with LeQ and her lavender bags.

I am so minimal because I was raised in a very cluttered house, as soon as I left home I wanted clean sides and no crap anywhere. I am not Monica geller tidy, you should see the inside of my cupboards, everything is just slung in.

I actually really like other people's houses where there is an abunsance of stuff - some people have the talent to have a load of eclectic things around, and for it to look stylish. I have no sense of style at all really so if I tried the same thing it would look like Hilda Ogden/Old Man Stepote.

I BET you have got a kitchenaid. And really nice spatulas and tartlet cases

Guilty. Only the one spatula though and I'm not sure it's that nice - just your average spatula.

There you go - all the ones below the picture of the field are my old house. Doesn;t look quite so cutting edge now, but it was 7 or 8 years ago they were taken! And I'm sorry to report that I still seem to have cushions on my bead.

Look soon if you are going to, because I'll take them all off later today. Starting to feel like a show-off.

I was going to say, Fellatio, that your house is fabulous, until I got to the picture of the hallway with the cupboard at the end, with the letters saying "HOME" on top.