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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School parking

25 replies

newwave · 07/09/2010 09:34

I live across the road to a junior school and at the end of the afternoon session the cars arrive and regularly park across my drive, I have a drop curb so they have no excuse.

The problem is my two children go to a school 3 miles away that finishes earlier than the school across the road, as my DH always collects the kids on his return he often has problems getting on to our drive due to cars (and one particular car) parked across it and has to park some distance from our house.

He has put notes on the car and has spoken to the mother and has been told "its a public highway" and I will park here if I like.

A few days ago it happened again and my DH went out to her car and let two of her tyres down (no witnesses) she came back and came banging on my door, my DH opened it and they had a row, it finished with him telling her to "get the fuck off my property you fat cow"

I think he was over the top but understand why and she hasnt been back since.

aibu to be a little annoyed with him

OP posts:

funkychunkymunky · 07/09/2010 09:37

Strangely, in law there is nothing to stop someone parking across your drive if there is no car on the drive. If there is a car on the drive then she would be committing an offence.

She is BU to be blocking your drive. It's common courtesy not to block drives.

He is BU to have let her tyres down and to have called her a fat cow...

YANBU to be annoyed with him

mrsunreasonable · 07/09/2010 09:39

our council can ticket cars parked on drop kerbs maybe contact them see if they do the same then ask them to send traffic wardens along to your street at school kicking out time.

pjmama · 07/09/2010 10:08

Your DH was clearly out of order, but so was she and if it seems to have done the trick I'd just be grateful!

wonka · 07/09/2010 10:19

I don't think he was out of order (well maybe the shouting abuse) But the tyres.. No.(will have cause her a major headache & You won't see her block your drive again.

sanielle · 07/09/2010 10:20

Well she was being a cow.. but your DH was being fattist.

So they are both being unreasonable, and you are not. BTW someone always sees. That's what net curtains are for.

emmyloulou · 07/09/2010 10:22

They were both unreasonable YANBU. He didn't damage her car though......just deflated the tyres and she hasn't been back......so enjoy it.

neuroticrobotic · 07/09/2010 10:29

Not allowed to park on drop curbs round here, car or no car.

The council will and does ticket outside DS school. The school sends out letters at the beginning of every school year reminding of commone courtesy and the risk of a ticket.

It works, you can see all driveways are clear.

Talk to school and voice your complaints and see if they won't mention it in a newsletter

DaftApeth · 07/09/2010 10:38

I agree with talking to the school and asking them to monitor it.

Think your husband was being unreasonable but would have loved to see her face when she realsied what she ahd done

ps. We always have people parking across our drive, unfortunately, not just at school pick-up times

Original poster

newwave · 07/09/2010 10:42

To be fair to my DH she was a cow, she has seen him arrive back home and continued talking to other parents outside the school whilst blocking our drive.

The afternoon before he had parked some distance from our house and in the morning at 5-30 when he left for work (6 till 2 shift) it was pouring down so he was already wound up.

OP posts:

MaryBS · 07/09/2010 10:42

I can understand why your DH did it, but he could be starting a war here. After all, she knows where you live - whats to stop her doing something back (no witnesses)?

Original poster

newwave · 07/09/2010 10:56

Fair point Mary but my DH is not someone you would want to mess with, he is a kind man and a good DH and dad who would go out of his way to help anybody but he will not (as he puts it) stand for anyone taking the p#ss.

He had asked her politely and put notes on her car but she ignored them.

As for the school they cannot seem to stop parents parking on the yellow markings let alone over peoples drives

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 07/09/2010 11:57

He tried polite and that didn't work, so he's trying rude and by the looks of it having greater results.
fwiw I wouldn't have lasted as long before resulting to his latest tactic.

Quattrocento · 07/09/2010 12:01

How did he let her tyres down though?

If he cut them then he has committed criminal damage, hasn't he? Surely you don't want him to face a prosecution?

I'm not sure where the law stands in respect of letting the tyres down using a valve. But in any event, don't most cars have locking wheel nuts to prevent people just letting them down.

swanandduck · 07/09/2010 12:27

She sounds like she deserved it and is the brass necked type who won't act unless someone roars at her. Hopefully it's done the trick

Original poster

newwave · 07/09/2010 12:34

Wheel nuts are to stop the wheels being stolen and does not stop the valves being accessed.

No the tyres were not cut.

She was lucky as another mother had a tyre pump and she was gone in 20 minutes.

It wasnt an electric pump so it was amusing seeing her using a foot pump

OP posts:

Mowiol · 07/09/2010 12:34

Reason and maturity dictate that I should say your DH was unreasonable - but I can't.
I'm ashamed to admit I snorted with laughter at his tactics .
I wouldn't have done it - but I would be silently and mentally giving him a high-five

sapphireblue · 07/09/2010 12:36

I'm afraid I'm too...........he was in the wrong though, as you know! But then so was she, especially if he's left notes/spoken to her about it before.

firsttimemama · 07/09/2010 12:53

Serves her right

DuelingFanjo · 07/09/2010 13:28

YANBU - his behaviour is awful and very pasive aggressive to let the tyres down. he shouold be more forthright and stop being such a doormat.

though there's no law against people parking so I guess he just has to suck it up.

MrsFreedy · 07/09/2010 13:45

Your husband is not being unreasonable, by what you are saying this she has been doing this for some time in order for him to do such a thing and I can empathise with him as this has happed to us on a number of occasions. I would

speak to the council

Take a picture of the car and send it with a letter to the school asking them to speak to the mother or you will be seeking legal advice.

Alternatively get some crates and wooden slates put them across the entrance to your drop drive.

Original poster

newwave · 07/09/2010 13:56

Fanjo, except for offering her physical violence there was hardly any other route open to him.

As for no law against people parking there is but it may or may not apply in this case.

We paid £460 for the drop curb and over £1800 for the front garden to be bricked over which we did not want to do but parking is a nightmare in our street.

OP posts:

exexpat · 07/09/2010 13:57

If this happens a lot, talk to the PCSO team at your local police station. We get a lot of bad parking around here, including people blocking parking spaces (with dropped curbs). The police support officers have come a few times when I have called them, and according to them it is illegal to park over dropped curbs even when there is no car parked in the space.

In fact, I once reported a car to them that had been blocking my driveway most of the day (though my car wasn't there - I'd had to park several streets away); it was still there when I went to bed (and no sign of any police or tickets) and still there in the morning, but an hour after I got up, someone knocked on the door asking if I had seen anything odd as his car seemed to have been stolen from in front of my house. Actually, it had been towed away by the police. I didn't realise they actually did that round here.

Maybe it's worth mentioning the possibility of being towed (and paying £150 or whatever it is to get the car back) to any other unsociable drivers you get?

Original poster

newwave · 07/09/2010 14:04

exeexpat

Good point but this woman arrived at the school 10 minutes before chuck out and stayed chatting for up to 30 minutes after, my DH arrived back with our two about 5 mins after chuck out at the local school. He has sometimes had to unload the kids and then drive to the next street to park. The woman was aware of causing a problem but did not give a toss.

Anyway it has not happened since "Tyregate"

OP posts:

mnistooaddictive · 07/09/2010 14:09

My parents have a similar situation with people parking across the end of their drive so I understand the fury at not being able to get on your own drive. Sometimes these tacytics are the only thing that work with some people. She was trying it on and he has called her on it.

DaftApeth · 07/09/2010 14:26

It is illegal to park across a drive and block a car in. It is not illegal to block an empty drive, just very annoying.

I had the tell the pcso's off for semi-blocking my drive the other day. Round here , it is the Parking Attendents who have any power. Unfortunately, they never seem to do anything and our road is always full of cars that should not be parked here.

I tend to sit in the car and just keep sounding my horn when one of our local taxi drivers blocks my drive. They soon get the message

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