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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that my baby DD is being utterly unreasonable?

23 replies

lucky1979 · 07/09/2010 07:26

I have major surgery tomorrow, I'm going to be in hospital for at least a week then will be incapacitated for at least another 5 weeks at home. I have SO MUCH to do today to get everything ready for going into hospital and afterwards. 10 month old DD has almost always slept in until 6:30AM or thereabouts. This morning she woke up at 4:30AM and resisted all efforts to soothe her back to sleep - when we got her out of the cot and DH tried to take her from me to let me get a bit more sleep and she howled and clung on to me like a little monkey. I feel guilty enough about leaving her for a week and now I feel a million times worse. :(

So we're all downstairs, we've been here since 5:30AM, she has had her bottle and is now playing without a care in the world, and I'm so exhausted I want to cry and the day has barely started yet. Is she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
GrumpyFish · 07/09/2010 07:28

she knows and just wants to spend time with you. they have a sixth sense. Smile. Hope op goes well.

tholeon · 07/09/2010 08:01

well she is, but babies are very unreasonable things!

Hope the op goes well and you have the help at home that you will need while you recover..

HeadFairy · 07/09/2010 08:04

Oh dear, you have my sympathies, my 8 month old dd always wakes up at 8am, but because we're on holiday (only in France so no major time difference issues) she's been waking up at 5am every day. I've spent the holiday looking like a ghost.

Good luck with the op tomorrow

Squitten · 07/09/2010 08:07

LOL - my experience thus far with my DS is that babies are nothing but unreasonable!

Not a lot to do about it unfortunately but best of luck for you op and hope your DH is ready to muscle in there with your DD so that you can rest

thatsnotmymonkey · 07/09/2010 08:08

Ah, my DS does this kind of thing all the time.It is VERY UNREASONABLE! However, they are only babies, so forgiveness is easy. I hope you get some rest in the hospital and your recovery is quick.

Can anyone come over, and give you a break for an hour or so today?

Mowiol · 07/09/2010 08:40

I echo thatsnotmymonkey - you poor thing, is there a DM, MIL who could come.
Very best wishes with your op.

Bloodymary · 07/09/2010 09:01

I agree with grumpyfish, they definatly have a sixth sense. Good luck!

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 07/09/2010 09:14

Poor you. Yes, DD is being bit U, but she's probably far more aware of what's going on than you give her credit for.

But I may also be facing surgery soon with a DD of similar age, so can really sympathise. What's the op you're having?

Original poster
lucky1979 · 07/09/2010 10:44

Awww, thank you everyone. DD has redeemed herself by having a very reasonable two hour nap (and still going) so I feel a bit more on top of things. It has also occurred to me that actually, the house doesn't need to be spotless before I go into hospital as I won't be in it for a week,anyway so I shouldn't care what it looks like! DH can sort it out instead which has taken loads off my to-do list :) DM is also arriving this afternoon so things are a bit less overwhelming.

BreastmilkLatte - I'm having a total hip replacement including possibly a bone graft. Then three months later they'll do the other side so I have up to six months of being at limited mobility. DM is coming to do day shifts and DH will look after DD in the evenings. I'm cheerfully planning to be like those slighlty consumptive victorian mothers you see in films, I shall lie back in my bed propped up with hundreds of fluffy pillows looking pale and interesting while people bring me the beautiful, clean, well behaved children for a cuddle and a story before they take them away again to change nappies and do all the dirty work. How about you?

OP posts:
JodiesMummy · 07/09/2010 10:47

How can a baby BU! GAFG!

thatsnotmymonkey · 07/09/2010 10:57

GAFG?? get a fucking grip? harsh jodiesmummmy Have you read the thread??
I think the OP was asking it in a lighthearted way and anyway she has alot on her plate.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 07/09/2010 11:02

JodiesMummy I think the OP and I were being ironic (and what does GAFG mean?)

lucky... er, ouch! And are you already getting infuriated by the "oooh but aren't you too young" or "oh but my great-gran had that last year and was back on her zimmer in a month" comments?

[Not 100% sure what I'm having done (in midst of endless preliminary tests etc to) establish details/uregncy etc but something on my heart. So cuddles afterwards may be precarious...]

But in terms of tidying etc... could you ask DM and DH to do it whilst you're in hospital? Or hire a cleaner as a one-off?

[My DD has just been VVU and pooed ten minutes after I last changed her nappy...]

Mowiol · 07/09/2010 11:03

Again, I echo thatsnotmymonkey - hear hear!

Merrylegs · 07/09/2010 11:06

Ah, see. I think your babe is actually being totally reasonable. After much fretting and fussing, she settled down to play happily without a care in the world. She is basically telling you that she will be OK when you aren't there. She is saying 'look, I can blub and howl, but later I can play. So don't worry about me mummy.'

bumpsnowjustplump · 07/09/2010 11:08

OMG op how stressful for you. Your baby is BVU and you can send her over to me and i will teach her a thing or two about telling the time Wink!! Although I have actually failed that with my two so probably not the best idea, but she would have lots of fun with my two...

Good luck with the op it sounds really nasty although i like the victorian mother picture you have set... the ever clean baby... i want one of those!! x

Original poster
lucky1979 · 07/09/2010 12:25

Jodiesmum - "How can a baby BU!" Interesting question, as I suppose it hinges on whether a lack of understanding of the concept of reason makes one inherently reasonable or inherently unreasonable to the observer. Am quite happy to have a philosophical discussion on the subject (I'd definitely rather do that than clean the house) but I suspect you only read the title of the thread anyway so will wait for you to respond :)

BreastmilkLatte - How did you know I"m getting all those remarks! :) Yes, everyone's nan had an operation at 97 and when skiing three weeks later I think. I hope the investigations go OK for you and they find out what it is fast, sometimes the worst thing is not knowing! I'm sure you will be fine :)

Thank you everyone else for your nice messages, have decided that yes she was being unreasonable but I don't mind at all. :)

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 07/09/2010 15:28

One could ask whether an inbuilt/innate concept of reason part of what it means to be human/have dignity/rights. Or whether reason is simply a Western construct designed to oppress creative spirits.

But yes, I can well believe that everyone's 97 year old nan had their hips replaced just before their skiing trip. In my case, I hear about the 97 year old grandads who had simiar heart ops and even lived another whole ten years... do they really think I only want to live to 40. But yes, I hope that, if skiing's you thing, that you and DD and any future kiddies planned will be on the slopes together next winter.

Give her a snuggly squeeze from me...

ChippingIn · 07/09/2010 15:38

Lucky1979 She is being extremely unreasonable - hand her over to me and I will give her back when she can behave reasonably (so around 2040)Wink

I hope it goes well and that you adore your MIL as you are going to be seeing so much of her Grin

Latte when do you go on holiday? Another 3 weeks? I bet you are counting down the days now!

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 07/09/2010 15:44

ChippingIn Leaving a week on Friday, but in hospital for the day the Wednesday before that... so should have the results awaiting my return. Well, maybe.

Lucky How have you been getting on today?

Original poster
lucky1979 · 07/09/2010 20:58

Breastmilklatte - I'm off to the hospital in half an hour! They rang and said was first on the list for tomorrow and to make sure I didn't get my bed taken overnight by an emergency they would prefer me to come in now! Which totally threw me as I was all pysched up for tomorrow but am now packed and ready, highly unreasonable DD is sleeping beautifully and peacefully, DM is installed to look after her, DH is primed with the bags and all we need is the taxi! Thanks for thinking to ask after me :) Hope all goes well with the investigations.

ChippingIn - It's my mum. Not my MIL. Thank heavens, if MIL was staying I think DD and I would be moving into the hospital full time!

OP posts:
thefirstmrsDeVere · 07/09/2010 21:18

I hope it all goes well Lucky

Enjoy the morphine and the rest.

Send that naughty girl round to mine. I will sort her out spoil her

thatsnotmymonkey · 07/09/2010 22:01

Hope it all goes well! Good Luck!

ChippingIn · 08/09/2010 17:34

Latte - well, that came around quickly (for me anyway!! LOL). Let's hope they do have some results for you on your return... x

Lucky I have no idea why I thought it was your MIL?? I can't believe they whipped you in from under our noses! It's daft isn't it, having to do an overnighter to save your bed in a hospital Hmm Anway, by now it should all be over and you should be being waited on Grin

Oi TFMDV Get.In.Line.She's Mine ... all mine....(15.38)

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