to be fed up with a friend telling me how much friendlier people are "up North"?

[kittya]

we have both lived down sarf for twenty years and she is going back to Yorkshire because people are "friendlier" there. Ive tried to tell her that this is just a romantic notion and that people wont be knocking on her front door with hotpots all day. I love London, I love going to visit home as well but, I can never honestly say that I have noticed a difference in whether people are nicer or not. My sister would say they arent nicer in Yorkshire just bloody nosier!!

Have I just being down here too long?

ooh, really, UnePrune!! It's one of my favourite places ever. I love Peyrepertuse, too, but it's been spoilt by some rather naff birds of prey displap and aviary

I've been there too Queribus!
I used to go out with a Frenchman from Quillan (Aude) who had a thing for the Cathars...been all over that area, isn't it lovely? (Sadly he was a cnut.)

I moved back up (north-ish: north derbyshire) and sorry but people are more friendly. I have to stop myself smiling at and saying hello to strangers now when I come back south. it just has a less up your own arse more laid back feel.

and, ime, it's not the people it's the place - my village is packed with incomers - there are familes from Wales, Liverpool, Southampton, Surrey, London, Norfolk and the US - and the northern friendly vibe has rubbed off on them all. although, I concede, it's hard to tell if it's a northern or a rural thing - maybe just waking up in a beautiful place (the kind of beauty that the earth gives us, not that money can by) just lifts everyone and makes them smile.

I've lived in the South for 6 years (having lived in the north for 21). The people who I work with are exactly the same - lovely, friendly, welcoming.

However, it is the attitude of strangers that you totally notice. I live just inside Greater London (so not in the 'too busy to stop' areas on London). I walk through a park at 7:30 in the morning (only in Summer!) and it still depresses me that no one will look you in the eye. I pass 3 people at most during the 5 min walk, so it is nothing like a heaving commute. Not a single person will ever even look at me. I'm not saying that back home I'd be striking up a personal conversation, but you would smile at each other, nod or say 'morning'.

And don't get me started on shopping/town centres. I try to stick to online shopping because it makes me SO angry. I've lost count of the number of times I have said 'NO, THANK YOU', very loudly and sarcastically as the umpteenth person walks through the door that I am holding open for then/waiting on the other side for them to come through first, without them even acknowledging that I exist. Come on people - how difficult is a nod and a smile, you don't even have to say thank you!

And then there's the shopkeeper down the road who is forever on his phone while I'm at the till and just holds his hand out for the money - I try to give him as little business as possible.

So in conclusion, it's all about EYE CONTACT and acknowledging that others exist.
North - Head up, nod/smile/hello/thanks
South - Head down, I don't care about your existence, you have zero significance in my life

As a southerner living in the north I don't think there's much difference. I've found people are friendlier away from cities (in both) when you're not passing lots of people and it would be difficult to say hello to everyone.

having moved from down south (hampshire) to yorkshire, 6 months ago (to the day) i can honestly say the people up north are much frendlier.

i spenf 6m in London where people were far les friendly than hampshire, but yorkshire win by far.

I think people in the North tend to be more open to chatting to strangers. I've tried starting a conversation with people in queues / shops/ bars etc down south and been looked at like I was a loon. Never, ever get that ooop north.

Obviously there are friendly people everywhere, but I wonder if life is more stressful (sweeping generalisation) down in London and so people are more likely to be immersed in their own world + therefore less open to overtures from strangers...

You have to look at it both ways, though. You see I personally find strangers insisting on nodding at me or wishing me good morning really intrusive, not friendly. Chatting to strangers isn't the same as friendliness!

And then there's the shopkeeper down the road who is forever on his phone while I'm at the till and just holds his hand out for the money - I try to give him as little business as possible.

You're the opposite of me! I stop going to shops if shopkeepers insist on striking up conversations with me and find an alternative where I don't have to make small talk.

Im abit like that. I have to talk alot at work so I just prefer to go in for my paper and the guy say "are you going or coming from work? sleep well, love" thats as much as I need to hear when Im on my way to/from work!!

I would hate it if people started waving to me accross the street!! and, I go up north alot, I cant say that ever happens even there!!

Maybe this friendliness is a rural thing?

I would just like to vote my street in Eastbourne (just about as South as you can get) as the friendliest place I have ever lived in,

(and I have lived in numerous parts of England and Wales)

It is the first time I have lived in a street where I know nearly everybody (and not just their names.) because we all stop and chat when passing.

Strangers regularly say good morning/afternoon when passing in the park etc.

and I am practically on a first name basis with most of the staff at my local Waitrose and Sainsbury's because they love to have a good chat.

Even the burglars are friendly up North (Leeds), waving and grinning as they cycle past the window on your bike.

YANBU, i moved up north, i hated it, most miserable time of my life. no one is friendly they are all horrible accent hating judgeypants,

In a way, I think it pangs of reverse snobbery towards Londoners. There are unpleasant people and friendly people wherever you go. I think in general, Northeners are perhaps more open than Southerners, but once you get Southerners to open up, they're equally as nice and probably slightly more genuine - sometimes I get the impression that Northern charm can quickly run out, whereas Southern charm slowly reveals itself.

I think it's strangers that are friendlier. For example if I walked around my village or local town then 95%+ of the people either smile, say hello/good morning or speak to you. I don't think it's about neighbours necessarily it's more how friendly it is walking down the street.

I used to live further south and where I was people who you knew would literally cross the road if they weren't in the 'mood' to speak. Whereas, here in a village near Wetherby in Yorkshire strangers are so friendly.

IME people are friendlier oop norf than darn sarf!!

It depends what you mean by friendly.

I've lived both ends and people talk to you more up north, but then they also don't respect that you might actually not be up for having your ear chewed off as you're trying to get out your door with the toast still in your mouth of a morning.

Anyhoo, it's balls really. The country's so tiny, the differences we try to engender are looked upon with high amusement by folks from all those much huger land masses that surround us.

I moved from SE Asia to Sheffield and found the locals friendly enough. Spent a lot of time in the south as ILs lived there. Not so friendly. However, I then moved to Australia where in the first year I made more friends than I did in the 13 years I lived oop north.

'tis all relative.

Hmmm not convinced on this one, dhs family are from Yoirkshire and i've never met such an unfriendly bunch of inward looking small minded rude ungracious unfriendly people in my life. Lived in leeds for 6 months, hated hated hated it, rough, no atmosphere, poncy bars and clubs with no real vibe and full of burton shirt wearing townies.

Have lived in Manc now for 16 years on and off and the friendliness factor varies from area to area. salford v friendly as is Bury and Bolton folk. where I live in South Manc not so much but then it is mainly inhabited by southerners who came to Uni here and stayed after failing to get into oxford/cambridge .

The friendliest place is where i'm from, stoke-on Trent, everyone gives you a smile and a nod there, in fact i would say midlanders are the friendliest out of everyone. North of manc it all gets a bit strange, as it does in the small towns around sheffield.

It depends where you go I suppose.

We moved to London for a while for DH's work. I used to go out everyday to the shops etc and went to toddler groups with DD in an effort to make friends but was surprised that I could go weeks without one single person talking to me other than DH. If I passed someone in the street and smiled at them they would avoid eye contact. I found it very isolating down there and didn't make one single friend.

We're back up North now and since living in London, I have to say that I do notice the difference. I can't walk to the shops without someone at least saying "good morning" or giving a smile.

In Manchester City centre it's a different story though...

lol at minx and "small towns around Sheffield". I was brought up in a village near Sheffield, and went to school in Sheffield and now, after a southern interlude, live in a similar village. I'm sorry to say but "small towns around Sheffield" are a category that inspire my latent snobbery. city - great. village - better. towns like Chesterfield and Doncaster? shudder.

was thinking of Barnsley and Rotherham hatwoman. My sister lives in shef and works in Barnsley and gets hostility from the locals in Barnsley for "not being from these parts"!

i think I can honestly say I've never been to Barnsley. been to Rotherham - in the early 80s it was one of the first places to get a wave machine in its swimming pool so there were a few birthday parties there. not sure I've been back since...

yes agree with the Rotherham unfriendliness.

Perhaps it's a pennines thing? Yorkshire people dour, go overt he hills to Lancashire and they're lovely

runs away from yorkshire MNers>

I think you have been away too long.

We are Cumbria rather than Yorkshire, but when we moved in we received from people who were total strangers to us at that point:

• 10 welcome cards
• 2 bottles Cava
• 5 bottles wine
• one tin homemade flapjacks
• one homemade date and walnut cake

Now that never happened when we moved in London or in Cambridge (where we lived before).

Is it more a villagey thing though?