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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to take responsability for their kids behaviour?

19 replies

gonnaloseit · 06/09/2010 23:38

My DS 6 had his bike stolen tonight by a boy of the same age. When DS told the other boys mum this he was told to fuck off.
I then went round to see her to ask her to return the bike and she refused to answer her door shouting that she was going to phone the police.
I have contacted the police and they said they would try and talk to her, but has history of not responding and their hands might be tied if she refuses to talk to them.
If my DS done this I would be mortified and demand he returned the bike, apologise and I would punish him.
Is there a law that parents have to take responsability or can kids and parents get away with anything nowadays?

OP posts:
SpeedyGonzalez · 06/09/2010 23:53

Oh, how horrible. Really feel for you. Just sending you my sympathy. Sad and Angry for you.

loopyloops · 06/09/2010 23:55

:(
Hope it turns out ok, poor DS. :(

paisleyleaf · 06/09/2010 23:57

"I have contacted the police and they said they would try and talk to her, but has history of not responding and their hands might be tied if she refuses to talk to them."

eh? That can't be right. No one would ever be accountable for anything.

MrsCrafty · 07/09/2010 00:00

I think you need to take matters into your own hands and keep going round there and informing the police every time you do it. Call 999.

This is rubbish, it's your bike and you should have it now.

However, the police don't want to know so are you a bit savvy and can kick their front door in. I know what I would do if this happened to my son.

Original poster
gonnaloseit · 07/09/2010 00:04

I spoke to police at 6.30 pm they said they would be out at some point this evening but still no sign of them. This woman has a long history of being a trouble maker and it seems like the police can't be bothered with her now and just let her get on with it. They were called at weekend by several neighbours as she was shouting abuse out her window and it rtook them 5 hrs to turn up.

OP posts:
mummysgoingmad · 07/09/2010 00:19

999 is for emergencys mrscrafty, i hardly think a stolen bike warrent calling the emergency services.

I do agree that the mother should be held accountable for her sons theft. My god if the police cant make her give it back then who can? Is that not what they are there for.. to, you know, uphold the law! bloody ridiculous!

mummysgoingmad · 07/09/2010 00:35

999 is for emergencys mrscrafty, i hardly think a stolen bike warrent calling the emergency services.

I do agree that the mother should be held accountable for her sons theft. My god if the police cant make her give it back then who can? Is that not what they are there for.. to, you know, uphold the law! bloody ridiculous!

MrsCrafty · 07/09/2010 01:27

Actually I disagree. Something has been stolen and the police should investigate. If everyone called them on theft, then perhaps someone somewhere would realise that we need more police officers.

LittleMissHissyFit · 07/09/2010 09:42

Go round there and bang and bang on her door until she gives it back. I mean it, hours and hours of constant banging if you have to, if she wants you gone, she'll call the police.... and they will tell her to give back the bike... but I'm guessing she wont call them.. so bang and bang away!!

Shout at the top of your voice that her son stole your DS bike and you are not leaving, nor leaving them with a second's peace until it's returned.

GypsyMoth · 07/09/2010 09:46

are you sure her son 'stole' it???

kids being kids,how do you know for sure? did anyone see him take it? if so,where to??

FellatioNelson · 07/09/2010 09:53

The police are very loathe to get involved in what they see as minor neighbour disputes, espcially spats over children, but this is theft, plain and simple, and the longer he has the bike the harder it is to prove it's yours. They are hoping he'll dump it in the street tomorrow and no harm done - which of course is probably what will happen, whereas once the police are involved it can very quickly turn into a major vendetta with all kinds of tit for tat recriminations and accusations which waste their time, or possibly spill over into more serious crime/violence.

I can see their point, and understand their reluctance, but it doesn't change the fact that your poor son has had his bike stolen and you feel, quite rightly, pissed off and want it back.

When I'm Prime Minister I'll just have all anti-social rude nasty stupid people rounded up and exterminated.

Original poster
gonnaloseit · 07/09/2010 10:02

DS and his friends seen the boy taking it into his house which is why the mum is refusing to answer the door and we can prove it's DS bike it's been marked with a UV pen.

OP posts:
pjmama · 07/09/2010 10:05

You'll get my vote FellatioNelson Wink

FellatioNelson · 07/09/2010 10:06

Try putting a firm but polite note through the door, saying that your son needs his bike back immediately, asking nicely hasn't worked, and unless they return it today you will view it as theft and take police action.

NewbeeMummy · 07/09/2010 10:07

Phone the police and tell them, you're likely to commit several crimes in extracting your sons bike back from her, you might get a response then.

In all seriousness, I hope you get his bike back, did they turn up in the end?

sb6699 · 07/09/2010 10:49

Having been in the same situation I feel your pain!!!

My old downstairs neighbours Dad told me to phone the police if I wanted my DS' bike back - I did but still didnt get the bike.

I understand the Police are busy these days and it may seem trivial to them especially when they are dealing with increasing knife and gun crime - but trying explaining that to a heartbroken 5 yo who no longer has a bike and you cant afford to replace it.

tinky19 · 07/09/2010 10:56

That other little boy will now think that it is acceptable for him to steal!

homeboys · 07/09/2010 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Gallievans · 07/09/2010 12:46

Quick question - if the neighbour is in rented accomodation, you can complain either to the housing association / council housing officer. You tell them that one of their tenants has stolen your son's property. You then contact the local police - Again - and log a complaint that they've failed to act when a crime has been reported. You'll be surprise at a) how quickly the police arrive and b)if it is rented, and enough complaints are logged, then the owner of the property will have to get the neighbour moved.

And as a final resort there's always the civil courts but if she's ignoring the police I don't suppose they'll have much success.

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