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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think turning up an hour early is bloody rude?

16 replies

cherryorchard · 06/09/2010 20:19

For a party - with no warning - because PFB becomes grumpy if she's up too late.

Dh and I were frantically running around on last minute preparations/trying to shower and change while the three adults sat and expected us to wait on them.

Apparently one of the guests should've called to "tell" us they were coming early - but I would've still been p*d off at the thought of them turning up an hour before the party was due to start.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 06/09/2010 20:21

Very rude, yes. You should have done what that woman on Come Dine With Me did and left them outside until you were ready

PavlovtheCat · 06/09/2010 20:22

yanbu, maybe not rude as such, but inconsiderate. if they had called me to tell me they would be coming early, I would tell them it was not convenient, presuming it was a kids party? an adult party would have just involved me plying them with wine/sending them to the shops for more wine

I always leave having a shower til the last minute so would never be ready in time.

However if it was a good friend would not be bothered as they would be able to help with the last bits.

mumbar · 06/09/2010 20:22

so the LO gets grumpy if shes up too late but not if she's sat waiting for a party in a strange house??

Did they leave early is that why they turned up early??

YANBU sounds a wierd to me .

gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 20:22

VERY rude and I love BoF's suggestion!

sterrryerryoh · 06/09/2010 20:23

Oh dear, I think it is rude, yes.If my DS would struggle to stay up late, I?d deal with it or not take him. I feel for you

But I am laughing a bit at the mental picture you?ve conjured up - showering, running round, getting all stressy in private, and then gaily sticking your head round the door to them every so often tinkling ?won?t be lo----ong?

sorrento56 · 06/09/2010 20:24

People turn up early but baby can't stay up late?

SE13Mummy · 06/09/2010 20:24

My PiL have taken to doing this when they come over - even if we've said we won't be back until Xpm. The first time they rang on the bell of the downstairs flat and waited in there (tenant was so dumbstruck & didn't want to be rude!) but these days we deliberately go out and return a few minutes before they are due to arrive so if they try to come an hour early it won't affect us. We also warn the downstairs neighbour and have instructed PiL not to ring her bell.

GrumpyFish · 06/09/2010 20:25

YANBU! At DS's recent party some friends called to say that they would be coming half an hour early and leaving half an hour early as this fitted in with their DS's nap times better. I thought this was a bit off, and they at least told me in advance. I would be pretty annoyed if someone just turned up an hour early.

Summerbird73 · 06/09/2010 20:26

Yep i am with BoF too, i saw that CDWM too and thought she was hilarious.

YANBU they were bloody rude, i would have still been vaccing and showering too at that stage!

TastesLikePanda · 06/09/2010 20:27

If anyone turned up at mine an hour before expected they would most likely catch me naked - still, at least they wouldn't do it a second time!

Summerbird73 · 06/09/2010 20:27

not vaccing and showering at the same time mind you

mumbar · 06/09/2010 20:28

really grumpyfish

You may as well have just sent invites party at mine on x day. Book your 2 hour slot

Original poster

cherryorchard · 06/09/2010 20:33

Wish I'd thought of the CDWM idea!

Unfortunately dh had already let them in. I was in the shower and didn't rush down.

They didn't offer to help, and I had to force dh (who's not terribly assertive) to rush upstairs to shower - his hair was still wet when the party started properly.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 06/09/2010 20:34

CherryOrchard - I don't think 'rude' is the word I'd use - more bizarre!!

GrumpyFish - although I don't subject myself to such rigid routines I can sort of understand leaving early to take him home for a nap, but... why did they feel the need to 'make up' for the 'lost time' by arriving early, it's like... you offered them a 3 hour party and they'll make sure they get their 3 hours - most bizarre!?!

Original poster

cherryorchard · 06/09/2010 20:37

One of the adults left early to take PFB home, but that was an hour after the official start time - so they could've just let PFB have an hour-long party. I loved the way PFB complained about going - she was having a great time!

The other two stayed til the end.

OP posts:

floweryblue · 06/09/2010 20:39

I couldn't go to my Uncle's birthday 'do' recently but I let him know I could pop in a bit early to drop off his prezzie. He didn't say 'no' so that's what I did.

I didn't expect him to entertain me or even to open his prezzie coz I knew he was busy getting ready. Ten minutes chat while he was up to his ears in marinades, neice and uncle have done their duties, everyone happy!

He offered a drink, to be polite, I refused, to be polite as I knew he was busy, hopefully I didn't add too much to his stress levels!

If anyone turns up early to my house they are likely to 'enjoy' seeing DP in his birthday suit and they will definitely be given jobs to do!!!

It's almost rude to turn up on the dot of when you are invited with my family, unless you have rubber gloves!

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