to think this was pushy parenting to the extreme?!

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I am just back from the park and couldn't believe what I saw, absolutely crazy behavour from this dad who was there with his son.

I was pushing DS2 (age 1.1) on the baby swing and this wee boy comes up and said 'hello, my name is Tom'. So I say 'hello Tom' and introduced myself and DS2. The boy was standing next to the other baby swing and wanting to get in it, so I said 'do you want me to put you in the swing?' then immediately thought I'd better ask him to ask his daddy to put him in (he was standing about 20m away watching all this). So I turned to look at the daddy who came over to the swing and said 'Right Tom, you KNOW how to get into the swing so get in it!'. He was speaking to him in a complete army tone and said repeatedly 'You KNOW how to do it, you did it at the park the other day so I am NOT showing you again.' So this wee boy tries to pull himself up onto the swing (remember it's a baby swing so has bars on it) and is clearly struggling to which the dad continues 'you GET in that swing Tom!'. He eventually helps him to get his legs over the bars and turns to me and says 'he KNOWS how to do this he is just being a complete pain in the neck'.

By this point I am thinking and then he proceeds to say 'Right Tom, I am not going to push you, you know what you should do, legs backwards, forwards, backwards, forwards!!!'. Poor Tom is saying 'daddy push me please!', 'No Tom, I have shown you once I am NOT showing you again!'. The boy tries to move his legs back and forth and the dad shouts (yes, shouts and I am not exaggerating here) 'Tom, PAY ATTENTION!!! Move your legs BACKWARDS and FORWARDS!!!!'. Poor boy isn't getting anywhere fast so the dad goes over to sit on a bench and continues to shout commands at his son. I am trying to figure out his age so I asked Tom his age and he is only 3!!! Not long past 3 either I think.

Eventually Tom just sits there on a stationary swing and the dad comes over and fishes him out and tells him that he knows fine well how to swing and that he is deiberatey being a pain.

Dad = what a complete tosser!!! I couldn't beleive how he spoke to his son and was treating what should be a fun time at the park as an army training exercise. And on a 3 year old. Poor lad.

I really felt like saying something but didn't. Do you think IABU in feeling that way or are my children completely thick cos they can't yet swing themselves or climb into one (my DS1 is nearly 3 and nowhere near able to do that...).

Just nasty, I would say, rather than pushy. What a horrid man.

The child can't swing on a baby swing anyway, it doesn't work. How horrible, what an unpleasant man.

that wasn't pushy, it was plain nasty

that poor little boy

I would have been tempted to give him a sneaky push

Poor kid.

Hope he learns to tell his dad to do one soon as possible.

:( that is really nasty.

he was being a total arse.

and even if the boy knew how to swing himself, there's no greater pleasure than being pushed on the swing, is there?

how to give a young boy a proper long-lasting complex of being a failure and dad never being proud.
:(

What.a.dick. Poor poor little boy.
YANBU.

Sounds like poor kid is in for a lifetime of inferiority feelings and misery. Horrid, horrid dad.

What an utter dick

Bullying.
And thick. It's the leaning while holding the chains and pushing the seat with your bottom that makes you swing, not swinging your legs. V hard in a baby swing.

What.A.Dick!!

Some children can climb into them from a ridiculously young age, some are easier to climb into than others - but I wouldn't expect a small 3 year old to be able to - the Dad also needs to realise they aren't all the same height off of the ground or built in the same way, so just because his son could at another park, it's not a given he will be able to at this park.

Swinging yourself is possible on most 'baby' swings, but it's very difficult with tiny little legs!

Depending on if the bloke looked like he'd smack me one I would have just said 'Oh dear, these swings must be different to the ones at the other park - let me give you a push to get you started' (and kept on pushing him!).

Christ - I got 'looks' at the park the other day for telling my friends DD that I'd had enough of pushing her the other day and she'd have to swing herself now and she's a very tall, very heavy 6 year old (most people think she's 7 or 8)!!

I wonder if Tom's Mum is an MN'er??

Poor little mite. I take DS to the park because we both get something out of it. It?s been a dream of mine for years to have a child that I can do this sort of activity with - it sounds like he really didn?t want to be there. Poor little Tom is in for a lifetime of dictatorship isn?t he?

How mean!

Only possible defence of the dad is something my DS does quite often

"Would you like me to put you in the swing?"
"No I do it myself"
"OK then"

"Can I help you?"
"No I do it MYSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELF"

I can imagine after a park visit filled with this I might be saying "No, do it yourself" next time, too

for that little boy. i dread to think what his future will be like with that as his roel model and mentor.

Poor little boy. The dad sounds just plain mean and awful.

Poor kid, but I think Stealth might have a point. I let DD struggle with things sometimes, people sometimes look at me at the soft play when she is putting on her shoes and struggling (sometimes they are on the wrong feet too!), because I am fed up arguing. At the moment we are in between independence and hugely irritating!

Stealth (and CKN) I know what you are saying, but you say things more like

You said you could do it
You said you wanted to do it
You said you didn't want me to help
Last time you made a big fuss and so I said I wont help you next time...

...stuff like that (can you tell I'm quite familiar with it :) )... you don't shout the things that ilikeyoursleeves said he was shouting like 'You get in that swing Tom' or 'I am not showing you again' do you?

yes, I did say it was the only possible defence :o Doesn't sound like it from the OP tbh. And if DS is asking for help I only suggest he does it himself for stuff he does have to learn - clothes etc. Helping him on and off the swings is fun :o

Yanbu. Poor little guy.
I may be over sensitive, but that father sounds unstable to me.

:( how sad, poor little man.

How can someone be so mean

:( That's horrible.

What a tosser!