to be on the verge of exploding with rage at DH?

[suiledonne]

He went out earlier to watch a match - he said he was going to his friend's house and would come home straight after as he knows I'm ill with the flu and exhausted as DD1 was also ill and spent a few days in hospital earlier in the week. The match has been over for over an hour and his phone is going to voicemail.

I know he is in the pub. I am so pissed off. Tomorrow is the start of another long week and I all I wanted was a few hours without the dds to take it easy.

He, on the other hand, was out at a work thing Friday night and went training yesterday so he is not lacking on time to himself.

He doesn't go out much but every time he does it is the same story. Just switches off the phone.

I am about to lose the plot.

SGB POAA suildonne said this He doesn't go out much but every time he does it is the same story. Just switches off the phone in her OP - so yes, it's deliberate.

notsocrates spot on!!

Sorry I disappeared for a while.

He came in not long after 7 - not late I know but 2 hours after he had said.

He wasn't in the pub and was a bit annoyed that I thought he was but what can he expect when he didn't come back, let me know he was going to be late or even notice he had no signal?

I was too tired to argue this evening and had to put the dds to bed but we really need a talk about things.

He goes about his life and makes plans without giving a thought to how if affects me and I am fed up.

He is very committed to playing sport and I am ok with that as he has a stressful job and he needs the outlet but he doesn't seem to think I ever need to have a break.

He works hard for us (I am a SAHM), never raises his voice let alone his hand, does plenty around the house and is a great dad but I have let myself become a bit of a door mat. I feel like I have to ask him for time off and justify it when I know that isn't right.

crickey.returned at 7,no pub.that will deflate the leave him/hes a twat/domestic slavery crew

tbh,expecting an adult to be back home at 5ish on his day off when seeing pals is bitty unreasonable

and if you are unassertive,not forthcoming that is your issue.you need to address it

YANBU; my DH wouldn't go off out somewhere leaving me with the kids if I was ill, unless it was for something essential, like work. He definitely wouldn't go off to watch the footie....

Another example of a man thinking he can carry on doing what he did pre-children!

sm - the DD had been in hospital this week, the OP is sick, DH has been out Friday night, Saturday and Sunday and it's the OP that's bitty unreasonable... yeah right

Suiledonne - so if he wasn't at the pub, wwhere was he?? 7 isn't late and normally I'd be saying 'get a grip', but you've had DD is hospital, you are sick and he's been out 3 days in a row, then doesn't come home until he feels like it, 2 hours later than he said he'd be - it's no wonder you're fed up. You do need to talk. Have you namechanged recently? If not there was another poster who posted an almost identical post to your one at 22.27 - if it's you again, get talking, if it's not - you're not alone!! Great DH, but starting to treat you a bit more like hired help than the wife - nip it in the bud :)

If he goes out rarely but always does same thing, you should have it out. Either accept he will turn off phone and be twuntish uncontactable or tell him it's unacceptable and what the consequences will be.

My DH does not seem able to return home on time on his rare nights out - always thinks he will be home earlier than he is and just gets carried away having fun with mates. I've decided to accept it - been known to do it myself once or twice.

This is my only thread as far as I know although I am a bit fuzzy headed from the flu so maybe I have created an alter-ego I don't know about

chippingin He was at his friend's house like he said but phone had no signal. I believe him about that - I am good friend's with his mate's wife so no chance he was lying. And he is not that sort anyway - I know that for sure.

He wasn't very considerate given that you have been feeling very unwell

they need to have frank conversation and figure out what next.op has had lot on plate not disputing that. but op says overall he is good dad but they do have marital malaise

chippingin Can you link to the other thread? I can't find it.

DH and I are long overdue for a heart to heart but I am definitely going to have it out with him. I know we can sort it out because I love him and despite some Oscar worthy performances that say otherwise I know he loves me too - it's been a long hard week and I should be in bed.

Thanks for listening everyone.

suiledonne I wasn't implying he was 'up to no good', I missed the bit about him going to a friends house, I thought he was going to the footie and straight home - so I was just wondering how it took him another two hours to get home if he didn't go to the pub? Tis all...

I will try to find the other thread, it's no longer on my 'I'm on' list and I don't remember the posters name, the exact date or anything distinguishing and if I type 'DH Good Dad Acting Like A Twat' into the advanced search it will be next Christmas, not this one, before I emerge!!

I hope you are feeling much better in the morning!