I am, but feel justified in my complaint today. DH wont listen so im going to tell you all as i know i shall get a little bit of support....or a good slapping for being a daft cow.

[laloony]

DS only gc to pil.
they show no interest, this drives me to stomache churning maddness, but thats another moan for another day.

However, both ds & fil are into trains.
there is a train exhibition in the next town to us next weekend, as no one will go with fil, he mentioned it to ds, and asked would he like to go.
ds delighted, excited and absolutely would love to go.

no more mention of it from fil.

so he came round for something on saturday...so i asked him outright, "erm, when did you say that exhibition was?"
he muttered something about next weekend, so i went on, "which day are you thinking of going?"
"dunno, we;ll see" was reply.

"Well, would you be able to let us know as ds has been invited to his pals and i need to let his mum know......

nothing.

DH thinks i am fussing, i am buggered if ds is going to be let down...i will take him if fil doesnt come through.

i know, i know that we go on about pil, but it jsut makes me want to cry in anger some times, i cant help it.

for your DS. Mine to is REALLY into trains and I take him to exhibitions as no DH/P on the scene anymore. But I know he loves it when Dgrandad or Duncle take him as men know far much more than I do nd don't have to fake interest

YANBU

i thank you xx

Take him yourself and leave crap FIL out of the equation. Will your DH go?

think so yes,

pil ARE crap, but dont seem to care

YANBU at all...

Sorry to say it but it sounds like he doesn't want to take him. Muttering about the date, being non-comittal - he doesn't want to take him.

I would suggest that you just take him yourself.

OH dear. Poor DS. HOw old is he? And why on earth can't DH see the problem here - or is his head firmly stuck in the sand?

what an arse

he is 7.

they took him to a zoo 2 years ago. dont see him, unless they need something from us.

PIL are a bit like this. In their case they are ludicrously set in their ways, panic and/or sulk if they don't get own way.

We had a brief period when dd2 was born and they took dd1 out a few times. I found out afterwards that dh had had words with them and they did so very reluctantly out of duty. They have never spontaneously offered.

They were going to take us all to the panto when dd1 was about 4. dd2 was a small baby, and initially we were going to bring her as well, which was fine. Then all of a sudden (after fil asked me what would happen if she needed feeding and I replied that of course I would just bf her in the theatre ) We had a load of crap nonsense of mil and cat's bum faces about how the panto would be unsuitable/terrifying/traumatic for a newborn.

Just telling you all this in sympathy really, I do understand. On occasion we have had plans to go to the park but then they pull out and let the gcs down (usually because mil is terrified of getting a bit of wind or rain on her hair)

Take your ds yourself. Treat every offer with a pinch of salt. tbh at his age then he probably won't be that shocked that fil has let him down. (disappointed obviously but it sounds as if pil don't have a history of spending a lot of time with him)

poor ds. I would just take him.

my fil is apparently 'popping in' next week, if he has time after seeing his other gc.

Hasn't seen ours for 3 years.

I actually dont him to come as the dcs will be so excited and then he will not bother again for years

poor ds. FIL is stupid as well as nasty - these things are FAR more fun if you have a small boy to share them with (or a small girl). Not that I'd go to train exhibitions on my own, anyway, but having seen parents and kids at them and seeing my Dad with his grandkids, your FIL really is missing out, the miserable beggar.

FIL is BVU if he is the one that mentioned it to your ds and is now backtracking.

I would be tempted to ring back and ask him for a definite date or for a definite 'no' and why - or put the words into his mouth for him. Something I was once told by a salesman at the company I worked at - if people don't want to buy something they don't like to say know so they just say maybe or fudge the issue (just like your FIL) and then get hassled when you ring back when you say you will because they are hoping that you will take the hint and you get hassled because they asked you to ring back and they seem to be wasting your time... By asking people to give a definite no, he actually ended up wasting less time and getting more 'yes' answers. Might be worth a go anyhow.

If he does pull out I would definitely make a point of saying how disappointed ds was that he was looking forward to going with FIL and feels very let down, and that it is a mean thing to tease a child like that. And that you are upset because it is a bad example for an adult to suggest something and go back on their word. I'd also ask him not to suggest something again to ds if he isn't prepared to go through with it (it's one thing if he can't go on the day because he is ill, completely different to bring it up and then not commit to going).

good on you for taking him if FIL does let your ds down!

on balance is DS more excited about going or going with FIL?

If it's going with FIL I would phone him and ask him outright to decide etc

If it's just going I would take him on Saturday if FIL doesn't mention it again - he can either miss out or take DS again on Sunday - if DS wants to go again.

Grandads like this make me SO angry, my Dad would have done anything to still be here today to do things with his GC's - it's so fucking unfair. I'm going to hide this thread now OK, but I hope he bucks up his ideas sometime soon.