Would you go off abroad and elope?,and have anyone secretly planned this and gone through with it.?

[costacoffee]

Because right now we are so tempted but Im scared and really worried about everyone else, but we just want to be married and thats all that matters but I feel really bad plus we we are saving for a house?.

We did, kind of. Local registra but on minimum notice, only witnesses and DD1.
FIL wasn't happy as he had already been uninvited to his DD wedding , nothing to do with us. So a bit of gruge but not a fall out.

My mum and my DsF did it too, so they would be unwelcome to complain

DF and MIL completely fine with it.

We were planning a party (as mum and DSF) but life as unexpected turns, really unhappy for a while. My mum's party will definitely never happen (DSB will never be there again ), we might celebrate a 10 years or something later.

It is all about you though, unless your parents pay (who are nowadays?), do what is right for you.

We had 16 people at our wedding. It was brilliant. It can be as cheap or expensive as you wish. I understand the appeal of not having all the fuss of a big wedding, but it needn't be expensive, so I don't think you should use the cost as an excuse to have a small wedding, especially if you're planning to go abroad to elope. If that's what you want, that's fine, but I wouldn't try to use cost as a reason. Just say you don't want to be the centre of attention. For the same price, you could have a small wedding in the UK. We did have a party later, but that was our choice. Our families knew it was our day. We kept them informed as we made our decisions but they knew we weren't expecting them to interfere and to their credit, they didn't.

We went abroad, just the two of us, it's the best way as far as I'm concerned. Parents were fine about it in the end. We were going to have a small do over here but it started causing arguments over who was/wasn't invited. In the end, we told them that none of them could come and we were going abroad.

All my friends who have had the big wedding have got so stressed out they haven't slept the night before and then are too tired to enjoy "their day", plus when you're spending so much money, if the slightest thing doesn't go to plan it seems to be a disaster.

If you do things just to please everyone else, it's not "your day" is it, it's everyone else's.

Yes we did it. Told immediate family and off we went. Threw a huge party once back for everyone.

Best thing we ever did, I loved my wedding day.

And I would have zero issues with my kids doing this. If they are happy, I would be too.