to be fuming with my mates DH for shouting at my son

[superv1xen]

the other day i was round at my mates and her DD aged 3 and my DS, 4 were playing together and my DS flopped on their sofa and as he did so his legs flew up and accidently kicked her DD (not hard) on the arm, she is a mardy little cow drama queen anyway so started screaming like it was the end of the world, (even tho he barely touched her) and my mates DH shouted at DS and really gave him a good telling off - i was like - i really wanted to say, HOW FUCKING VERY DARE YOU SHOUT AT MY KID!!! but i didnt want to cause a scene because it would have upset my mate.

the best of it is that my mates DD is not even his, she is his stepdaughter and most of the time he couldn't give a shit about her, it just seemed like he wanted to have a go at DS and exert his "authority". he is the one i posted about the other week who refuses to even babysit for her and never does anything for her, her mum does everything. but anyway...amongst me and my friends it is an unwritten rule that we DO NOT tell eachothers kids off, we leave it to their parents, and we certainly would never shout at them. so our partners definitely dont.

omg what an arsehole - I would not stand for any of my friends shouting at my kids, let alone their OHs. YANBU.

we have an unwritten rule between my mum friends that we can tell each other's children off if they misbehave and their mum isn't around but to be hoenst this is never more than telling them to be careful if they whack our own DCs or similar, we have enough respect for each other as mothers and people to know they will deal with their child accordingly.

But this is totally different to someone shouting at my child for an accident - YANBU and are clearly upset you didn't step in to help your son - I know how you often just want to keep the peace and I realise I do this which means not putting DS first

Hope you manage to sort it out with your friend

I think the best thing you could possibly do here is use this as a learning curve. It is one of the very best things you could ever do for your child, in my opinion, to be able and willing to assertively speak up for them when injustice is done to them.

If you don't, who will?

And how will they learn to do it for themselves?

girlwiththemouseyhair i totally agree with everything you have written, me and my friends are happy to "mildly" tell eachothers kids off, ie, "ooh dont do that" etc, but no raised voices or serious tellings off. and as for keeping the peace, thats exactly what i was trying to do but feel guilty as DS got the shit end of the stick :(

and guess what, i didnt even mention it to my friend today i think from now i am just going to try and avoid her DH, its easiest. :(

Maybe you could just see your friend on her own? Doesn't sound as though you're so keen on her husband or her daughter, but seems a shame to let your friendship with the mother suffer.

i do see her on her own sometimes but we met through both having kids when our kids were tiny babies and they have grown up together and usually get on pretty well. so it would be a shame for my ds not to see her with her dd. and i cant remember if i said or not but usually when i go and see her at her house, her DH is there as he doesnt work.