to be thoroughly peed off with dh over money

[Jux]

Despite my elder brother and I both saying that we didn't want to engage the builder who is doing up our dead brother's flat until we'd got the money to pay him, dh went ahead and engaged the builder, and got him started 2 weeks ago. My elder brother stumped up 2K to get him started.

So, the builder (who is dh's godson) rang on Wednesday to tell us he needed some more money by Monday so the electrician could buy materials etc.

DH forgot to tell me until about half an hour before the bank closed on Friday. I had a stash for emergencies in an unused account so I told dh he would have to take 1K out of that, and he went down to the bank and got it transferred. He just happened to mention that if there'd been more in there he'd have given him 1.5K. (That had me hopping mad.)

Then he says his godson has rung him saying thanks for that money, but he needs 2K. So I ring my bro who was stuck at work and couldn't get to a bank to transfer any money even assuming he had some (actually, I know he does).

So I'm cross because we are in exactly the position bro and I didn't want to be in - that is, having work done which we can't afford to pay for.

It just bloody annoys me.

That seems a lot to pay up front, you should be paying in stages after completion? I hope your dh isn't being blurred by it being his godson

So do I, CarGirl. He probably is - he won't want to lose face.

At least my bro is going to have to meet up with him this w/e over the extra money required, and will ask for an accounting. I've now stipulated to dh that we want weekly accounts; whether he's passed this on is another matter.

On the other hand, we do know the godson very well, and we are as confident as it's possible to be that he won't actually cheat us.

The flat required complete gutting, complete rewiring, replumbing, redecorating etc. There's about 4 tons of rubble outside the front door at the moment etc.

The estimate for the work is between 8 and 10K. We were prepared for this to be out by 50%, but didn't want to start the work until we'd got probate on mum's estate, at which point we'd have enough money to pay for it.

I'm just pissed off that we are now going to be scrabbling about looking for pennies again, when we could have put the whole thing off until we'd got the dosh for it.

don't blame you! I think you need to sit down and work out an affordable payment schedule, if you don't have the money what does your dh expect you to do?

He said we could take out a loan! I think I'll have to divorce him.

It doesnt sound like you and dh are working as a team
it sounds like you and your brother vs dh and his godson
wierd set up

I'd suggest that as your DH has already made things not just financially difficult for you, but for your DB, you tell the godson that he must deal directly with your DB and not your DH - if he doesn't, he doesn't get paid. And that your DH has nothing more to do with it.

If your DH didn't want to loose face, he shouldn't have commited someone else's (his BIL) money to a project.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I have just had long phone convo with DB. We got probate on mum yesterday so now we just have to wait until the assets are liquidated, might not take too long, it's all pretty straightforward.

He's talked to the godson, and will give him the rest of the money he needs (actually another 2K, so 3 altogether) tomorrow. DB has finally decided that he will move into the flat himself so he says he'll bear the cost of the work himself.

It means that dh and I have very little involvement in it now, except to help db as and when he needs it, which we'd do anyway.

We're all agreed (even dh!) that if the money from mum takes too long to come through then the godson will be told that we can't give him any more and he'll just have to stop work.

I'm mightily relieved.