Priority Seats....

[Starbuck999]

On the bus home from school today (regular public bus not school bus) and dd (6) and I were opposite two extremely well behaved, quiet and respsonible-looking high school girls.

The 4 of us has the 4 priority seats and the bus was pretty empty. The bus started to fill up and two older ladies walked on. I didn't notice them as our backs were towards the door and the 2 high school girls didn't notice them as they had their heads in a work folder.

The leading older lady starts screeching very sternly "PRIORITY SEATS, PRIORITY SEATS!! whilst wagging a finger at the sign. We of course all immediately got up and they took 2 of the 3 now empty seats (I left dd in the 4th seat)AIBU to think she was really rude in the way she requested the seat, as if the two teenagers and the young mother "obviously" weren't going to get up for them, she could see we hadn't seen her, a small cough or "excuse me" would have been sufficient!

THEN.. she told my dd to get up as these seats were "priority seats" and someone may need one. Err bus now packed, dd is 6 and small and it's very hard for a 6 yr old to stand on a packed fast moving bus without falling over! I told her to stay where she was and said older lady gave me a very dirty look. I think dd had priority over a non existent passenger!

It all annoyed me, but then I was a bit grumpy from being shopping all day, so thought I'd have amoan about her.

Well said, DandyLioness.

Rude lady shouldn't have had to ask.

"It all annoyed me, but then I was a bit grumpy from being shopping all day, so thought I'd have amoan about her."

Well, there you are! Afford her the same leeway for having tired legs and painful feet and getting on the bus for the umpteenth time and finding people occupying the Priority Seats without looking to make sure that someone who needed them hadn't got on the bus.

YABU to have continued a grumpy old moan instead of coming home, making a cup of tea, and resolving to remain alert so that the next older person whho needs a seat doesn't have to ask - either politely or otherwise!

I think the problem is 'priority seat' is a loose term. I would move for anyone pg, physically challenged whether that disabled or on crutched etc, buggy user and carer, older person. I have moved back a few seats from a normal one to offer it to an elder person before as it is polite.

BUT I have experienced spritely 60 somethings who can walk easily who are on their way home from work expect me to stand with ds then 2 with buggy folded up and bags so they could have the seat - even a 'normal' seat as they feel they have a sense of entitlement to it. (disclaimer - I always sat ds on my lap when a bus was full).

YABU op to have sat in a priority seat but YANBU to be annoyed at being spoken to like that as I would see a young child as priority for sitting too.

yep dd often sits in priorty seat so i can see her as im stood next to ds wheelchair to make sure it does not move on corners which it often slides around and on a busy bus i need to be able to see her

Like said all she needed to do was ask politley I found that works wonders

"I see the priority seats as regular seats and ok for nayone to use as long as you're prepared to jump up quick if someone else needs them."

Do you use that same argument for disabled loos and parking spaces?

But a disabled parking place is just that it clearly states its reserved for people with disabilities who have a badge. Disabled - or accessable toilets - also have a clear instruction for use.

Priority seats on buses/ trains etc often state please give up this seat if someone elderly, disabled, buggy needs it. It is not reserved as such for that use.

I would, as pp, give up the seat happily for anyone with more need than I but perhaps these seats need to be labelled as reserved for people with .....
Then again that would make it difficult for people such as roundbend to travel and I would see her ds and her dd as BOTH having equal priority.

YAB a bit U as you shouldn't have sat in the priority seats in the first place. Then you wouldn't have needed to move.

And OAP's are often rude. I think it is a reaction to the aggressive society we live in and the fact that being old, sometimes in pain, often bored and lonely might make you a bit grumpier than the average person.

You'll know where to sit next time if you have an empty bus :)

Theres one very simple way of avoiding this situation = learn to drive and buy a car! Hell will have to freeze over before I get on a cattle wagon its much better to sit in your own little tin box should you wish to shout very loud comment at peoples inconsiderate behaviour!

Do you use that same argument for disabled loos and parking spaces?

I will use disabled loos if there is a queue and it is empty. Especially if I have little ones needing the loo.

Yes I regularly park my car in the disabled loo, makes it easier for the weekly shop

YANBU, there was no need for her to be rude, regardless of her age rudeness is not acceptable.
My Dad was accused of being in 'the pensioner seats' by an old lady and told to move. He suffered from severe arthritis and had his walking stick with him, and the seats was clearly labelled for 'elderly or infirm'.

My niece was also asked to move by a man in his fifties when she was six months pg, she politely asked him to ask someone else as she was pg. He stood and argued with her for ten minutes on a moving bus until the driver intervened, so he obviously didn't need a priority seat that badly if he could stand and argue about it.

I've always offered seats to older people, even when I was pregnant after a full days work, but if someone was rude it would make me less inclined to be considerate.

See, I will often sit in priority seats on an empty bus, because the drivers here speed off straight away, and my sight problems mean I've got really iffy balance. HOWEVER, I'll always move if someone who needs the seat more gets on. And I'll always give up my seat on a busy bus if someone needs it more, even if it means me having to play "cling on to everything to stay balanced".

YANBU to think she was being rude, but you really should've used other seats in the first place, If it's an empty bus there's lots of choice, and you can see the luggage area from anywhere on the bus, so your shopping would've been OK.

Mind see ds just brings his own seat with him where ever he goes saves all the fuss lol

suspect op and the other last were both tired and fed but manners no matter what do not hurt anyone

I'm a driver who occasionally will use buses, and in the area I live, the policy on the buses is that the priority seats are normal seats unless needed by disabled passengers or those with a buggy etc. This is how it should be IMO. People should be allowed to sit wherever they like but be prepared to move if someone in greater need comes along. In the OP's scenario, the rude older women were entirely to blame. All it would've taken was a polite word, asking the OP if she would mind if they sat elsewhere. As for ordering her DD to move, that's just powertripping on their part and a disgrace.

I believe the actual phrasing on the notice in my area is "please give up these seats for an elderly or disabled passenger" (or something very similar), which essentially says that they expect people to sit in them until someone who needs them comes along.

Bottom line for me is that there would've been no issue at all if the elderly people were polite.

I wonder what would happen if more than 4 elderly people got on wanting the priority seats?

Would they have to duel to the death?

She should not have been rude.
I hate buses, my mum is in a wheelchair and we regularly have to put up with silly bints that think the wheelchair space is a pushchair space...it is not, it can be used by pushchairs if and only if it is not needed for a wheelchair.

I normally avoid the priority seats so I don't have to move, but YANBU to have found her rude. She only had to ask politely. And why do older people feel the need to judge people in priority seats? A few years ago I had a car accident and was very badly bruised with back problems. Sometimes I had to sit in a priority seat going to work. What if your DD had mild CP (not obvious if somebody is sitting down)? Or you were in the early stages of MS but still able to take your DD shopping?

YANBU to be annoyed at the woman's rude, aggressive behaviour. However, if you are sitting in priority seats you should be keeping an eye out in case people need them.