To expect DH to not leave the house a mess when home with the baby for the evening

[YellowRoseofTexas]

So, I was loving DH for getting home early this evening to take DS, 10 months, so I could go out for a few hours with work friends. But I get home and DS' dinner mess is still on the table, the baby bath hasn't been drained of bath water, and all his toys are still out. During the work week, I get home first and do DS' dinner and bath and put everything away. It's almost 11pm now and DH is on his computer...I see no signs that he plans to do anything else this evening.

Is this a familiar scenario to anyone else? As it was "his night" to have the baby, doesn't that imply he would also tidy up? It takes the fun out of it for me when I come home to a mess. AIBU?

Achingly familiar! Mine has got the hang of it a bit more now the DCs are older, but when they were babies he would just leave carnage in his wake whenever he was left in charge!

I wouldn't stress - you can:-

a) Give him a kiss, say "Thanks so much for looking after DS, I had a great time - are you okay to clear up, I'm shattered. Love you!" and then go to bed.

b) Just ask him if he will clear up?

c) Do it between you?

I know where you're coming from, but it doesn't sound like a massive amount of mess tbh - he may be planning on doing it later?

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, as you have had a nice night out - ask him to do the table and the bath while you pick the toys up?

Unless of course he is always lazy and messy in which case ignore b) and c) and go straight to a)

Hope you had a nice time btw

Yeah, I had a great time, thanks! :)

I think you're right, Cloud. He probably just figures it's Friday night and would rather play on the computer and leave the chores til morning. I've said before that when he leaves a mess that it feels like he's implying it's my job to clean up. But that's not the way he sees it at all.

I think best to just leave it, and we can pitch in together in the morning. I think he's feeling like a champ for coming home early so I could go out, so don't want to say anything and come off all bitchy and ruin his mood...

Still annoying though.