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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

getting home with kids from childminders

25 replies

linroz · 03/09/2010 18:55

When I get home with my 3 younger children (3,6 and 10) after picking up from childminders I find they are often whingy and grumpy with me and each other. I always have to end up getting cross with someone before they calm down and begin to get on with each other and with me. Are there any tips anyone has to share to help me stay calm and help them to settle back into our house while I cook tea, talk to them about their day etc. After I have got fed up with them, the atmosphere always settles down but I would rather not get to that stage? I would appreciate any suggestions! Thanks

OP posts:

sorrento56 · 03/09/2010 18:57

Give them a snack to eat on the way home.

Original poster

linroz · 03/09/2010 19:01

thanks will try that

OP posts:

FattyArbuckel · 03/09/2010 19:14

have one yourself too

nelliesmum · 03/09/2010 19:15

This is how children are, mine are vile after school but calm down eventually. Try not to get angry and don't expect too much in the way of helping etc. They can always pick clothes off the floor put bags away 20 mins after they have come in.

Original poster

linroz · 03/09/2010 20:34

Thanks 4 advice, I am sure it doesnt help that I am tired too and not as patient as I could or should be!

OP posts:

Dorisfromfame · 03/09/2010 20:39

I remember a few times having sticker charts for being pleasant to one another on the way home from school (or at least leaving each other alone!) as they went through stages of bickering on the way to the car and all the way home every day - drove me insane!

Original poster

linroz · 03/09/2010 20:41

Yes the endless arguing as im driving doesnt improve my mood either!

OP posts:

cat64 · 03/09/2010 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

laydeecornyofsilke · 03/09/2010 20:47

Godmy 2 were awful after the childminder - so tired and grumpy. Snack is a very good idea. Failing that get dh to get them.

onepieceoflollipop · 03/09/2010 20:51

When does the cm do afternoon snack? Ask her and if nothing since lunch ask if she can offer small snack/milk or similar a few minutes' prior to pick up time.

Don't try and talk to them about their day (seriously) my two (3 and 7) get grumpy and seem to think I am interrogating them. If I don't ask then sometimes they give me info spontaneously later/at another time.

Don't cook tea, or at least don't cook anything on work nights that takes more than 10 minutes or so. (or can be left in oven). I rarely do more than jacket potatoes, pasta that type of thing (or something heated up from freezer like chilli made at weekend) on work nights.

Also dh and I have a snack at "tea time" but have our main meal after bedtime (with wine )

onepieceoflollipop · 03/09/2010 20:52

If very desperate give a couple of haribo as you start the walk/get in the car. If you are prone to pmt/or are very stressed then definitely do this and stuff some in your own mouth.

pointydog · 03/09/2010 20:57

This is usual. Everyone's tired and among their own family at last.

Agree with snack idea. Something to shove in their gob so they can't whinge.

Original poster

linroz · 03/09/2010 20:59

Nice advice everyone, really made me laugh. I have an older daughter, nearly 15 now who has passed this stage! I too always cook quick food and eat with them so once its on the table things do get better!

OP posts:

onepieceoflollipop · 03/09/2010 21:04

Does your 15 year old get home before you? Perhaps she could occasionally get dinner started? She may need an incentive e.g. let her choose what to make or a bit of extra pocket money?

geraldinetheluckygoat · 03/09/2010 21:04

"something to shove in their gob so they cant whinge" hahahaha, excellent advice! Its true though, take some little snacks, it does really help. Bickering in the car is enough to make you want to abandon car and kids by side of the road and run for the hills, isn't it?

Original poster

linroz · 03/09/2010 21:25

she does sometimes and is very good at starting dinner etc or entertaining one of the younger ones diffusing the situation. i think maybe my expectations are too high as i look forward to seeing them all and have some idea of it all being wonderful and peaceful rather than a noisy argumentative bunch

OP posts:

LisaD1 · 03/09/2010 21:28

It's the same in my house, I call it the witching hour! My 2 girls are 2.6 and 10yrs old and grumpy as hell when we get home, mainly the little one but the bigger one winds the situation up too.

I think it's just because everyone is worn out by the time we get home.

ChippingIn · 04/09/2010 01:21

I do love the sound parenting advice on this site.

points today to ....
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PointyDog - Something to shove in their gob so they can't whinge

ClimberChick · 04/09/2010 03:56

I so read the first reply as "give them a smack on the way home"

I wonder what that says about me

Original poster

linroz · 04/09/2010 08:34

its sometimes just good to know i am not the only one, and get some other ideas thank you all so much you have made me laugh and feel a bit better am going to try next week

OP posts:

majafa · 04/09/2010 08:44

Im a Childminder, at my suggestion,
(having 2 boys of my own and know what they're like after school!!)
I have permission from all my parents to give the children a snack at 4ish, to keep them going till they get home and have their tea,
nothing major just something like fruit and yoghurt,toast, cheese on toast muffin savoury or sweet, crumpets, the odd ginger bread man from the bakers .
would/could your CM do this? Just a thought

Original poster

linroz · 05/09/2010 18:21

Yes she definitely would, she's really good and I will pack something they can have. With all your help and suggestions, hoping tomorrow evening will be a little less stressful!

OP posts:

Original poster

linroz · 06/09/2010 20:48

thanks everyone. They had food at my cm house tonight. No arguing, no fighting and had good evening with the kids. its so easy to feel like you are failing. all your advice much appreciated

OP posts:

create · 06/09/2010 21:07

Hi linroz, glad it was so much better tonight. My 2 always play up when I go to collect them (from my lovely parents)

It's usually 7pm (I work 2 long days and collect from school the other days)

My das says mums are bad for children but then goes on the explain that what he means is that they don't "need" to behave with us, as they know we love them however they behave. With others they have to be on their best behaviour more, so as soon as mum appears all that pent up mischief bursts out. He says I should take it as a compliment, becasue is shows that they're so secure in the knowledge that I love them.....which'll do me!!

mumbar · 06/09/2010 21:24

glad you had a better evening. I have only 1 DS and a single parent and believe me the whinging isn't less I also give ds something in the car and talk about what he will do when we get home. Usually gives him something positive to focus on.

The interigating about school days starts at dinner when he'll answer between mouthfuls.

Although my dinner got sprayed across the table today when I asked and he said they wrote about what they did in the hols. Told me he wrote .....'I went camping'. Yes all 3 words (year 2 ) and best bit is he didn't

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